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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

inviting nannies to weekend birthday parties

12 replies

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 19/04/2006 23:37

is is a nice gesture to indicate you think of them as part of the family or the creation of an awkward situation by asking them to something work related when really they just want their weekend away from you, but they're not sure how to say no.

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nannyj · 20/04/2006 00:24

My boss just said to me you are invited but i know you probably want to escape the house and the kids! So i didn't feel bad not going had plans to go out with mates anyway so had an excuse .

It's really sweet you're thinking of her.

ThePrisoner · 20/04/2006 00:50

I usually get invited to birthday parties of the children that I childmind for. It's nice to be asked, so I go if I'm able.

Earlybird · 20/04/2006 02:20

If you invite her, will you expect/want her to help out? If so, perhaps you should offer to pay her. If not, perhaps you should make it clear that she's invited as a guest.

Also - will there be other adults staying? Will there be other nannies present? Just wondering if she's there in a social context if there will be people for her to chat with...

Original poster

thewomanwhothoughtshewasahat · 20/04/2006 07:51

There'll be other adults but not many she knows, and no I wouldn;t expect her to help in particular. I think I'll just say that she's more than welcome if she'd like to come but that I don;t mind if not.

OP posts:

pol25 · 20/04/2006 08:46

I would be honest and say, we want to invite you as 'child' would love you to be there and us too. But not as our nanny, as a guest.
I know that I have had invites like this, during my time off and to friends of my charges who's mums I got on with when I nannied. All said similar things that nannyj's boss said- I know you probably have had enough of us by the weekend but...
I always went and helped- I think it's just in a nanny's nature. I always had a great time too.

bigisbeatifull · 20/04/2006 13:31

i have always been invited to parties etc. as has my 9 dd. i always (in a joky way) say its my day off today if there is any work to be done! hope that doesnt make me sound lazy, i mean if theres a nappy to be changed etc.

kizzypie · 20/04/2006 14:48

ive always been invited to the children i childminds parties / parents weddings etc too ive went if I was able and took with my own children and hubby as the children think of us as family anyway.
When I have gone I havent felt like I was still working just like a friend but ive also felt able to say no im doing something else if i havent wanted to go.
Its definately a nice gesture and would make her feel she wasnt just an employee and was part of your family. If she doesnt want to go shell make an excuse.

SANanny · 27/04/2006 19:33

I often go to weekend parties/ family get togethers and also to parties of my charges friends on weekends, sometimes without my charge, sometimes with only him, sometimes with him and his parents dependsing on whats happening. Recently we've had quite a few weekend parties for his friends and since mom recently had a new baby I've been taking older charge to the parties but I'm technically not working so it's just as a favour and we both enjoy the time together ;)

I never feel obligated to go though,

NannyL · 27/04/2006 19:54

i would be hoorifed not to be invited to my charges birthday parties...

I personally consider it my duty to attend even tho its my weekend off. IMO its all part of the childrens excitement and i wouldnt dream of not going. ( i dont consider it my duty to entertain the children on my day off tho!)

And this month i have 3 charge / ex charge birthday parties to attend!

(in fact i got my invite to current charges yesturday and as promised to miss 3 nearly 4 year old i have it up in my bedroom )

FrannyandZooey · 27/04/2006 20:01

Definitely ask. I think a couple of posts have suggested nice ways to let the nanny get out of it if they feel horrified at the thought of another day with you (unpaid no less). I too would have been v sad not to be invited to the children's birthday parties and still get asked even though I have not worked for 3 years :)

Having said that I did work for a more, erm, challenging family once, who invited me to a party and then treated me like a skivvy while I was there. I was so insulted. Don't let the nanny do any work while she is there fgs (as if you would)

PrincessPeaHead · 27/04/2006 20:01

I always say that they are very welcome to come but quite understand if they are busy etc. They usually come, I don't expect them to help out but they always do help a bit as any adult there does (hand around the odd sandwich, break up the odd fight etc), I don't pay them (and I think they'd be a bit insulted if I offered - like they'd have to be paid to wish the child happy birthday and have a piece of cake!).

riab · 30/04/2006 19:40

I've invited my nanny to ds birthday party, she had previously said that she'd love to come and help out with the kids. She said she'd come as a guest but I want to pay her as she will be helping with the kiddies. We've agreed that she will come for 2 hrs beforehand so we can get stuff set up and stay for an hour afterwards to help settle ds to bed. During the party she'll take it in turns with other adults to look after the little ones (3 under 3) and I'll make sure she gets a few breaks!

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