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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Saw a nanny on our street .....

39 replies

NotAnOtter · 15/04/2006 19:59

there was a bit of a 'rumpus' on our road the other day and ( nosey-bint! ) i looked out of the window to see a little boy same age as my 3 year old having a paddy. His mum was there and the nanny and this carried on for a few minutes with the boy being a bit of a pita....anyway...eventually the mum went to get in the car and the boy really kicked off at which the nanny (having to virtually drag the boy) said 'come on lets go and watch tv'
I was horrified. No way would i pay a nanny to look after my child by putting him infront of the box.
It was 11.30am .....am I wrong?

OP posts:

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starlover · 15/04/2006 20:00

I wouldn't mind if the nanny let ds watch tv for a bit each day... I know how thankful I am for it when I need to get other stuff done, or to distract ds!

if the little boy was having a tantrum and she knew that'd calm him down, then that's ok isn't it?

kama · 15/04/2006 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

NotAnOtter · 15/04/2006 20:12

I know my son watches tv at nursey but if i was paying nanny rates i would feel differently!

OP posts:

looneytune · 15/04/2006 20:14

I'm a childminder and don't have the tv on as a rule but I do put it on for a short time whilst I prepare lunch and dinner each day. Otherwise they see this as an opportunity to play up!! All parents are aware and are 100% fine with this! Depends how long it's on for IMO. Also, depends on what family wants. Believe it or not I've had parents request I have it on more but I tell them my rules.

nannyk · 15/04/2006 20:14

I would actually be more concerned about the fact the little boy is being "rewarded" for his paddy with tv. In that kind of situation I have just taken the child indoors, and distracted them by starting a fairly neutral activity such as art and crafts or lego. TV is great in small amounts and not as a babysitter, but it looks like the nanny had no other ideas/options on how to deal with the little boys behaviour. If tv is used to calm him down then really the nanny is not thinking very hard about other ways to distract him when mummy leaves, it just seems like too much of an easy option. Mums can choose whatever they like to calm down their own children, nannies are being paid to show a little more imagination surely? Not that mums don't do this but as a nanny I am paid to do a job, and that does not necessarily mean the easiest way out of a childs tantrum. My Mumbosses expect me to try hard to engage their children tantrum or no tantrum, and not resort to tv to do the job for me. If the mum wants the tv to be used as a calming mechanism fair enough, but I would have hoped the nanny would have tried a little harder to get the little boy distracted.

Original poster

NotAnOtter · 15/04/2006 20:15

good one nannyk....any vacancies?

OP posts:

looneytune · 15/04/2006 20:16

Agree with nannyk though, this is sending the wrong message to the child. Bad behaviour = rewarded with tv!!

starlover · 15/04/2006 20:17

but... this could have just been a one off... he might just be feeling ill and horrible and so she decided to let him have a little treat!

let's not judge too harshly on what someone saw through their window

Pinotmum · 15/04/2006 20:18

It sounds like it was a treat to distract him. Was him mum going off without him and that's why he was upset? I know when I leave for work and my ds is reluctant to let me close the door my Nanny (my mum - lol ) promises anything to distract him.

cod · 15/04/2006 20:19

god oyu lot are so bad! OF OURSE IT WAS A RUSE

Original poster

NotAnOtter · 15/04/2006 20:22

I am going to sound really awful now but.. the nanny sounded really rough !!!!! ( ducks for cover)

Do you think that coloured my judgement?

OP posts:

nannyk · 15/04/2006 20:23

Sorry Notananotter (great name BTW) I am booked up til my current charges are 18!!!!! (They are 5 months old at the mo!!!!!!!!!!) The parents have just said they want me til the babes grow up and leave home. Am flattered to bits as after 9 years of nannying for 3 families I feel ready to settle a little more long term. Who knows if it will pan out that way, I hope it will though as I am very happy, my bosses are very happy, and the babes are just smiley and delightful! Ask me again though when they are tweenagers. My first charges from 9yrs ago are 15 and 12. And I would have to be paid a HUGE amount to nanny for them again. Lovely girls but Oh My God the attitudes on them. Scary. Babies are so much easier :)

starlover · 15/04/2006 20:23

I think that the mother knows the nanny better than any of us.
and taht her accent or how she talks has no bearing at all on her ability to take care of this child,

so she let him watch tv once?: what's the big deal./

Original poster

NotAnOtter · 15/04/2006 20:24

Yeah Nanny but surely if you had reared them from babes in arms - they would be angelic teenagers?

OP posts:

Original poster

NotAnOtter · 15/04/2006 20:29

hmmm not sure ... I would love a nanny to nurture my kids when i worked.However i fear she would have to be in a Mary Poppins mould ' come on Jane chip chop' or at a push Nanny Mcphee !
none of this tv lark for mine they would have to have at least one potato print a day or beetles in a jar for me to be happy!

OP posts:

starlover · 15/04/2006 20:31

I would be happy for a nanny to do whatever I do. and that does mean plopping ds in front of the tv now and then!!! lol

nannyk · 15/04/2006 20:35

I left after 2 years as they moved countries, and they had local indian nannies (one each) from then on and were spoilt rotten. And anyway there are no such things as angelic teenagers these days are there??!! And even if I was their nanny I'm no more likely to have improved a teenagers hormonal angst than the next person. Personally I can't handle the lack of respect and manners many teenagers display these days. But thats a whole other thread....
Back to the subject in hand, I agree with starlover, we shouldn't judge this nanny/child/family from one incident but it does open up a can of worms regarding how nannies deal with diffcult situations. It all boils down to communication between the nanny and the employers in the end, and no one really should condemn this nanny as for all we know this is how the mother wanted it to be dealt with. I personally would hae hoped for more initiative on the nanny's part but then thats just my view and its worth about nowt in the grand scheme of things. :)

Original poster

NotAnOtter · 15/04/2006 20:53

had a bath and thought about you being a family nanny for like 18 years ...wierd!! You WOULD be part of family!
I think its a good idea 'cos you would be more likely to really invest in a child who you will be with for many years to come. If they had no respect it would be hard for you etc etc...

OP posts:

NannyL · 15/04/2006 21:12

Sorry but i let my 3 and 5 year old watch TV as well

during term time 3 year old at home in the afternoons may watch 2 or 3 programmes per week (20 minute programme)...

no time for telly after school!

in holiday time i guess they watch on average 4 - 6 20 minute programmes per week... tho often i get to Thursday / Friday and realise we have yet to switch on the Telly!

The TV has its place.... there are lots of educational programmes out there, and lets face it TV IS part of 21st ceuntury life, so i dont see the problem with letting children experiance it!

Also im a full time sole charge nanny.... the idea is that i look after the children when mum isnt there.... and why should they miss out on a few TV programmes just because their mum works full time?

We do only turn the tv on the watch a programme and turn it straight off afterwards.... we also have sky+ so we always have a selection of the favourites recorded, so we can choose the programme at an time of the day, fast forward the adverts, watch the programme and turn it off.

Personally i dont see a problem with that! and nor does my boss!!!

(i do think that 'rewarding' a tantruming toddler with the prospect of telly is wholey unacceptable tho )

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 16/04/2006 03:25

and you all know nothing about this child. OK chances are he was 3 and having a normal paddy, but maybe he has other issues. DS1 (aged 7) will have a paddy out on the street because he wants to go and look at a nehbours door, or check an open window or stare in their car. I can just about drag him back to the house if I have to- although I struggle, and its dangerous as I risk him bolting and when we get in if he hasn;t come in willingly he'll headbutt the door to go out again, so its far easier to say "lets do X' and have him come with me willingly. It's called distraction from an obsession. Only big rewards will work- tv wouldn't for him, but maybe changing a lightbulb or hoovering would.

Point being you have no idea from looking whether this was just bad behaviour or something more. To look at ds1 on the street he looks like a pefectly normal child behaving appallingly. In fact he's severely disabled and can't speak a word, and no you can't tell just by looking- he looks completely normal.

I have no idea how you people have so much time to spend worrying about what other people do. I barely get through my own life, certainly don't have time to start tut tutting at everyone else's, especially when I know zilch about the situation (not just this thread numerous others),

SueW · 16/04/2006 04:19

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request.

ssd · 16/04/2006 07:24

agree with jimjams.

also think we should give the nanny a break! She is only human, dealing with a stroppy, maybe tired kid is hard going, especially when mum is involved too!

maybe the little boy had 5 minutes in front of his favourite video then they went on to do something else!

nannies are humans, doing a paid job like all of us, no-one does their job perfectly ALL the time!!

beetroot · 16/04/2006 08:33

fgs. What des a little TV matter? it sounds to me as if the child was ujpset at being left and the nanny was doing something to comfortl the child and cheer it up.

ItalianJob · 16/04/2006 08:39

So we have the "heinous" childcare misdemeanours of a 3 year old being allowed to watch TV at 11.30 a.m? a nanny with a "rough" accent? Talk about net curtain twitching!

PARP!

beetroot · 16/04/2006 08:42

actually THINK THIS IS A WIND UP

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