Childcare advise

[She70]

I am after some advise please.... Bear with me, this is long!

My husband left us a month ago. Until now and since our eldest child was born 5-years ago Ive been a sahm. I had a v good job pre children and am keen to start working again. We also have a 2-year old.

Quite by chance an opportunity has been offered back at the company I left 5 years ago. It is a temporary position on a 6-month contract only. However the money being offered is fantastic and will enable me to save some to live on whilst I look for something more permanent. My husband is keen to reduce his monthly payment asap as he is literally living on nothing and I am worried his "goodwill" is only going to last so long.

The job being offered is full time but they'd be happy for me to work 2-days from home, 3 in the office which is about a 1.5hr commute away in London.

I would love to take this job for many many reasons but obviously my children and their care is my first concern.

I contacted a nanny agency and their recommendation based on what I require was to employ an Au Pair+ who could work 35hrs a week for £90 plus living in etc.

The care required would be drop off and pick up of my 5yr old everyday.

I was thinking that my 2-year old could go to nursery for 8-4 everyday so that her drop off and pick up could coincide with with my sons.

On the 3 days I am in London she would need to look after them until I got home in the evening at about 7. So from 3pm until 7pm and from about 7-9 in the mornings. On the 2 days I am at home I would do the drop off and pick ups plus finish at 5.30pm.

The agency suggested that to reduce my childcare costs I could use the Au Pair more for my 2-year old thus reducing my nursery costs. But I am not sure about this. Especially on the days when I would be in London so out of the house for 12hrs.

What do you think?? Does the above solution sound workable? I have never employed an Au Pair before and am extremely nervous about accepting this job and relying so heavily on someone to look after my children. Should I use the Au Pair to reduce the number of hours my 2-yr old is in nursery or leave it that she does 8-4 in the nursery. It just seems so full on when she is used to being at home with me. It is of course only for 6months though. In 6months things would go back to how they are now although she will then start pre school in Sept.

Desperately after advise, experience etc on this as I feel lost. Unfortunately communication with my husband is near on impossible so I can't rely on him.

If au-pair did more hours their pay would increase and could put them into the tax bracket, so more paperwork for you.
Some au pairs are good, others are terrible. It will depend on the individual concerned.

Before and after nursery sounds fine to me. A problem though - what about school holidays?

I would take the job. Sometimes things do just seem to fall into place and I think the offer is a small piece of luck in what must otherwise be a fairly horrible situation for you at the moment. I'm sure you are all too aware how hard it is to get back into the workplace after a break, and this opportunity could lead to others or at least look great on the CV next time you are looking for work.

I would look for either an au pair as you suggest, or a childminder (either to offer wrap around care for school/nursery or to care for your two year old all day). You may feel more confident leaving the children with someone who has children of their own and is a bit more experienced, and perhaps that more time spent in a home environment may suit her better than three full days in nursery at the moment. But depending on how much you currently get out and about to groups and so on, some time spent in nursery or at groups with a CM may be good for your two year old and help her adjust more quickly to pre-school.

Good luck with finding a solution which suits you all.

We have 2 dc the same age as yours. Our aupair drops them at school (5 year old) and at the childminder (2 year old). It works really well. Our aupair is wonderful!

The main thing to look out for is someone who either has experience or wants to work with children. They are usually quite job so when you ask them why the want to be an aupair, they tend to be very honest and talk about needing to learn english, not finding a job, wanting to experience the culture in England. Etc. Then there are the ones who start with: I love kids and want to be a teacher, etc.

Go for it! Childcare will fall into place.

Thank you so much for your replies.

I've been up all night worrying about this!

With regards school holidays I was thinking of asking their Dad to take off Feb half term. I will ask for the 2-week Easter holiday and for the May one.... Well I'll worry about that in May I think!

Another question, how have you interviewed potential au pairs? The agency said that the ones they have ready to start are all in their own countries so do you do telephone interviews?

I do think the positives for taking this job outweigh the negatives but I am just so worried that it all goes horribly wrong and these little ones have had so much to deal with the last month or so that I cry thinking about it :-(

I recently looked in to Granny au-pairs. If I was you I would go for Nursery and School with a Granny au pair to top and tail the day.

I have had regular au pairs before who were great. However, now I am too a single parent I feel I need someone older to help support me as well as look after the children. Believe me once you are working full time you probably will be grateful of just that supportive company.
From what I have seen these ladies are 55 to 65 retired from professional careers often teachers and are usually Dutch or German. Most of them are looking for around 6 months in the UK.
I am unable to link as at work, but if you type Granny au pair into google you should get their website.

I'd be tempted to get the au pair to drop your child off at the nursery after school drop off and collect before school pick up, then your school age child won't have to be dragged to nursery and your 2 year old will have a shorter nursery day.

Only one other word of warning, if you are thinking about making your split permenant, I wouldn't start divorce procedings until you aren't working again as it may reduce the amount you get in a settlement.

Hope things do work out it must be difficult.

I'm a childminder and I would do these hours but I know many won't, might be worth asking around. or you could have a look on childcare.co.uk

Karoleann, yes the spilt is going to be permanent. There is no way back unfortunately so I will take you advise and make sure I'm not working when I start the divorce. Sad to have to be like that but I do think it necessary especially as this isn't a permanent job.

I have decided to put my dd (2) into nursery from 8-4 every day. I may change this to 4 days depending on the availability at the nursery I preferred. I will work from home on the day i can't get a place and leave her with an au pair or perhaps a childminder on that day. I am undecided.

The top and tailing of the day to do the school runs and stay with the children until 7-ish on the days I will be in London I am looking at either an au pair or I have feelers out with people I know, including the manager at our local Sure Start to if anyone knows someone locally who might want to do it.

I found the Granny aupair website but when I called it looks like they are closed for Xmas. I will try again in the New Year.

I haven't officially accepted the job yet but have told them I am more than keen but I need to sort childcare first.

I feel like my head is exploding from it all so thanks for all the replies. They've definitely helped!

If you register with Granny au pair on line (free) you can look at the profiles.