Advice about when your child is ill please

[Melmagpie]

We have a wonderful nanny one day a week. She looks after three other families across the week (not together - different ones on different days.)

DD had hand foot and mouth and was off school for one day this week with a slight temperature and a few spots. One of our nanny's other mums who has a young baby asked that our nanny didn't care for my children this week in case she picked it up and passed to baby. In fact dd was back at school next day (doc and school said that was fine - unlike e.g. chickenpox you are not asked to stay off for a fixed time, they can go back when feel ok.) but the mother was concerned that my ds may be carrying it (highly likely and I'd prob feel the same if I had a young baby - but no sign of it yet.)

It's a tricky one - I completely understand the feelings of this mother, and felt our nanny was in a difficult position, especially as stupidly none of us have discussed an "illness policy" before. I've suggested we draw up some guidelines between us all for the future and wondered what you all thought about the best way to approach this. It's partly about time lost but also money. I pay the nanny monthly and will have paid for this week even though I didn't get childcare for children who as it turned out were healthy on the day (though dd still contagious - apparently it can be weeks with h,f & m.)

My initial feeling, having read up a bit online, is that in the case of things like hand foot and mouth, which can be unpleasant but is not considered dangerous, the nanny should be ok to care for kids and/or siblings who may be carrying, especially as she is very unlikely to catch it herself. If another parent is concerned that it could come their way it's for them to decide to opt out of childcare that they have paid for that week. However if it's something more serious then the parent of the ill child should opt out.

Any advice? I know that in general nannies can be expected to care for children who are ill, but I guess it does get trickier when she visits different families across the week. Although it would mean the nanny would have to catch the bug and pass it on, which with the majority of childhood bugs is probably reasonably unlikely.

What do others do?

Can't help with the nanny side of things but as a childminder I have continued to let mindees come to me who've had this. If they were in a lot of distress with it I would ask they stay at home as I have other children to look after but this is nothing to do with being contagious. It's not one of those listed as an exclusion.

yes i found the chart from the HPA and that was a useful benchmark and it doesn't advise exclusion for HF&M - unless as you say they are feeling rotten.

We need to find a wider way to approach this - maybe the HPA chart should be the reference.

Personally I would say that the nanny needs to come to work unless she is too ill to work or has something contagious/D&V.

If a parent wants to give the nanny a day off in case she infects their child with something then that is up to them - they shouldn't be meddling in the nanny's other jobs This isn't a nanny-share, the nanny has three separate employments.

Agree with Sam!

The other mum sounds PFB in the extreme by the way - can you imagine if the nanny's other job was in a nursery with the amount of childhood illnesses going around

I cannot imagine saying to a nanny "you mustn't go in to your other job" because they might come into contact with an ill child.

i think the other mum is cheeky to ask you and the nanny you all employ not share ( a big difference) to not work for you as your child is ill, just so her child may not catch the illness

if the pfb mum doesnt want to risk her baby catching anything - fair enough - but then she needs to take the day off/find different childcare arrangements - not you

Thanks everyone!

So in this situation is there any situation in which my nanny should be expected not to care for my kids?

Maybe if your nanny is pregnant and your children have rubella, or if your nanny has an illness/condition that suppresses her immune system, but if you nanny is fit to work then she should be fulfilling the terms of her contract. Her contract with other people is nothing to do with you.

any advice on how nanny should couch it?

She just needs to say, sorry I am contracted to work on Wednesdays.

thanks very much

If ur child is poorly, then u have to be off with them and the nanny will still need to be paid.. The same as if it was a private nursery

Agree with SamSmalaidh.

nanny I disagree. Obviously if a child is very ill the parent would stay off but sickness cover is a major advantage of a nanny. Most contracts will say the nanny is expected to care for children when sick unless it's something very infectious that they wouldn't reasonably be expected to have been vaccinated against or come into contact with outside work eg yellow fever or another bizarre tropical disease. Most childhood illnesses, including HF&M, are fair game. Special rules obviously apply for pregnant nannies.

I had two nanny jobs for years. One was Mon, Wed, Fri and the other Tue and Thurs I never passed anything between the two jobs despite often looking after ill children. I did make sure I always put clean cloths on for each job. If the jumper I had on on Monday was still clean I would wear it Wednesday but not Tuesday. It is in your nannies interest to try and prevent passing things between jobs. But as they are separate jobs they should not impact on each other. One parent should not be saying that the nanny can't work for you because she doesn't want her child to get sick. If she is that worried she should give the nanny a paid day off.

I agree with the other posters, the other mother should have found different childcare for her child. It was her issue so she's responsible. I've looked after kids with h,f&m and it was a little bit of an inconvenience but nothing more. I've also had kids with impetigo - both highly contagious but I was expected to look after them. That's our job! How would she feel if it was her child that was ill and your nanny was forbidden by all her other employers to look after this sick child? It's the risk you take if you don't have a nanny all to yourself.

nannyof3 - totally disagree, the main advantage of employing a nanny over using a cm or nursery is that a nanny WILL look after ill children

no need for the mb/db to take time off

Agree Blondes - As a nanny I expect that if my chages are ill that I will look after them; if their parent/s decide to take the day off from work to look after their ill child then yes I would expect to be paid but I DO NOT expect a parent to stay home with a sick child (especially hand/foot.mouth)

Recently my charge was sick and my boss took the day off however that is because she wasnt needed at work however I would not expect her to stay off for every sniffle/sickness especially as she has an important job where she cant always get away from work.