How to handle 2 year old who hits. Really need advice.

[IloveBFG]

I look after a just 2 year old and am finding it really difficult as she hits and pulls hair of other children and me. The difficult part is that these outbursts come completely unprovoked accomponied with a look of real rage in her eyes. I calmly tell her to be gentle and don't make a big fuss, but this keeps happening. Mum is aware and apparently follows the same procedure as me. I am finding it really stressful and finding I am not looking forward to the times she is coming.

There is the "ignore the bad and reward the good" technic but obviously this isn't something that can be ignored. Have you tried time out with her? Praise her when she does something good and when others do. In time she should see that her behaviour is not acceptable and she will hopefully stop it. Give her one warning and if she does it give her a time out. Get the parents to do so too. Be consistent. In time she should see that her behaviour is not acceptable and she will hopefully stop it.

I do sympathise with you as we have a child that comes to us that "plays up". As you probably know it's a attention thing. He has got better but there are days when they are tough and I want to give notice but that is part and parcel of the job right? (he's leaving next September so I'm counting down) As CM's we have to try and be inclusive to all children.

I looked after a slightly younger child fairly recently who behaved the same.

My tactic was to focus my attention on the hit child by showing them a particular toy or asking them to help me choose a book to read. Then after a minute or so I'd ask the child who'd hit to come and join us.

This seemed to be quite effective. I think she was just trying to get my attention and by not giving it to her, when she was hitting, she soon stopped doing it.

i would also put the child who hit in the playpen for a few minutes while you fuss over the hurt child.

they will either like the solitude, it may be sensory overload which is causing it or will play merry hell at being left out.

either way it might give you some more clues to the triggers....

Actually, thinking about it some more, another mindee would lash out, unprovoked. He was older though (3 1/2yrs). Each time he got angry or lashed out, I asked him to have a sit on the chair so he could have a think about where his happy face was (as opposed to his cross face) and when he'd found it he could come back and join the others playing.

When both my elder two did it (as all children do at some point), I found the most effective way to deal with it was to pick them up so that they were at my eye level and say "you do not hit" very sternly. Put them down again, turn my back to them and make a fuss of the other child.
Having said that not all children can deal with playgroups.

It is so good to hear from you. I do feel guilty for feeling not quite as fond of this mindee as some others and you have really reassured me.

you need to be firmer and make the mindee very aware that the behaviour is not on - and time out

all very well telling her to be gentle but its not working