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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Friendships and Business

21 replies

Saz73 · 30/03/2006 13:23

Help....I look after a 2 yr full time, his mum is a friend of mine and has just asked me to take 8 yr brother during school holidays but does not want to pay...is expecting a favour!!!! I've said that I would need some payment ....now she has given me notice and says I'm wrong as friends do each other favours!!! Beginning to doubt myself am I right or wrong?

OP posts:

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melissasmummy · 30/03/2006 13:30

I am not a childminder, but would say that expecting you to have her DS on a permanent basis for an extended period of time wouldn't be just a "favour". She should be prepared to pay for this sort of service, friend or not!

A true friend would, I believe have offered you something anyway. It's not just a one off, few hours babysitting.

zippitippitoes · 30/03/2006 13:33

She can expect away, she won't find anyone to take him for free for the school holidays I'm sure..

pol25 · 30/03/2006 13:45

Why should you do it for free?! It's your job and you should be paid to do it, afterall he is going to take up one of your places and your time too!!!
A favour is in an emergency or similar and I also think if she was that much of a friend she would never of asked you and respected you and your job alittle bit more!

saadia · 30/03/2006 14:04

You're not wrong at all. She wants to take advantage of you. As we all know, it's tough looking after kids. I'm gobsmacked that she would expect you to do it for free.

Original poster

Saz73 · 30/03/2006 14:11

Her attitude was that one more wouldn't make a difference and just stick him on the xbox!! But sorry that's not my way of looking after him. Thanks for your support.

OP posts:

pol25 · 30/03/2006 14:28

Hang in there Saz!!! It wouldn't be my idea of 'looking after' him either.

expatinscotland · 30/03/2006 14:35

what a cheek! some friend.

zippitippitoes · 30/03/2006 14:38

well you should ask her if she manages never to notice him at home then, she' mad

HappyMumof2 · 30/03/2006 14:39

what a cheek! and then to give you notice as well!

jellyjelly · 30/03/2006 15:03

Good job,I used to have a friend who i looked after her boy only for 3 hours a week (lots of people might remember the problems i had with her) anyway i am not registered for overnight care but she kept asking how much would charge her to take him. I had to drop her as she was willing to risk my job, family everything so she could go on holiday for a week! Bloody cheek.

Jensmum · 30/03/2006 16:33

I think it's really difficult being friends first with the parents of mindees as they do expect you to do them favours.

I cant believe she's given you notice, she's going to have to find someone else and go through the full procees again and have to settle the 2 year old.

Don't doubt yourself you did the right thing saying no.

ThePrisoner · 30/03/2006 18:34

I childmind for friends, and have become close friends with some of the parents I mind for (who weren't friends in the first place). None of them would ever have been so cheeky to have asked for this as a "favour". In fact, keeping it on a strictly professional footing is what makes things easier, because they can ask me if I can do extra hours or holidays, knowing that it is to be paid for.

Saz73 - it would be interesting to find out how much it will now cost her during the school holidays (assuming she can find someone able to do it!) You definitely did the right thing though.

PandaG · 30/03/2006 18:42

I almost exclusively mind for friends - a request from a friend is why I registered in the first place. BUT, everything is on a sound business footing and they pay me. I do do babysitting type favours for people too, as any mum would do, and get paid back in kind. I would happily do the odd few hours as a one off for a favour, but the summer holidays no way. You did the right thing!

Have heard of people having trouble getting friends to pay up in the past, but I have never had this problem, in fact, on occasion, parents have insisted on paying me more than I ask for!

Original poster

Saz73 · 30/03/2006 18:42

Just spoke to her husband (who is not pleased with the situtation) and her sister will be caring for the children ... he didn't know the money side of it as she wouldn't tell him. Thanks guys to definatley made me feel better, lost a good friend in the process. Learnt the hard way not to mix it again!

OP posts:

yeamam · 30/03/2006 19:09

Never!!

That is awful!!

I leave my 1yr old ds with a childminder and my 4yr old girl goes to an after schools club. The chilminder took my dd on a day that the afterschools club was shut and she would NOT let me pay her!! She said it was a favour and that some day when she was stuck she would ask me to return the favour.

Your 'friend' has an awful chhek and I hope she is ashamed of herself expecting to take advantage of your good naturedness.

Dior · 30/03/2006 19:13

Saz - you have not lost a good friend in the process...a good friend would not have treated you that way. IMO you are better off without friends like that!

Like you said though, keep business seperate in future.

nannynick · 30/03/2006 19:18

You were RIGHT... you have a Business Relationship with your clients. While they may become 'friends', who you help out on occasion - such as picking up early from nursery, picking up some babymilk for them while you are out shopping etc... it does not mean that you provide Free Childcare for them as and when it suits them.

While losing a child is never good, initally... sometimes you feel it WAS the right thing to do long term. Frees up the place for the next parent who wants it... who may be much nicer, paying in advance, etc.

Original poster

Saz73 · 30/03/2006 19:28

I've had confirmation today that I've fill the space with 2yr 3 days a week and sibling to and from school and I get to finish at 4.30 which is a bonus compared to 6pm b4. They don't start till after easter so I get the spend the hols with my DS and DD.

OP posts:

Dior · 30/03/2006 19:34

Perfect!

Katymac · 30/03/2006 20:18

Good for you - It's hard not to be taken advantage of

ayla99 · 01/04/2006 18:57

I'm glad you've filled the space so quickly.

If your friend had a group of friends who were an electrician, decorator and a chef, would she expect them to wire & wallpaper her house and cook her dinner for free?

Her loss!

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