Giving feedback after childminder interviews

[squishysquashy]

I've recently interviewed a few childminders. I found 'the one' (very happy) but I now have to let the others know. I'm not sure whether I should give feedback on why I didn't choose them?

One of them I had a few issues and I'm not sure if it would be helpful to let her know about them:

1. We thought the TV would be on too much (large widescreen in play room and reading between the lines of our discussion we thought it would be on quite regularly)

2. She already had 3 under 5s (I know she would be 'allowed' a fourth because the youngest was a sibling) but was saying about how since the rules had changed there were no limits. I know from on here that's not correct and she may have misunderstood.

3. She passed me a mug of hot coffee over the top of DDs head (could have easily walked up to me from a different angle).

I don't want to sound judgy and I'm not sure how I can feed these back to her in a nice way, she did seem a nice lady.

Lastly, one of the other childminders was very good, very professional and was a close contender. The main reason I didn't choose her was because I felt she would have a more teacher/pupil relationship with DD and I chose the childminder who was more towards the parent/child end of the scale. I want to give positive feedback to her as she was very good but DH thinks she would be insulted by saying this?

Italiana I know, that's why it was annoying - I'm sure I've said something about it in the past to her, but she still keeps telling me about how she has sacked CMs before .

She's lovely in every other respect though, so I forgive her

I don't quiz parents that come to me: I keep my eyes and ears open

I can tell by the way parent and child interact with each other and with us whether or not they'll fit in. To give you an example:

A high spirited child with a apologetic mum trying to stop him wrecking the flowerbeds will fit like a glove :)

A child who is deliberately upsetting or hurting the other children while mum smiles fondly will not.

I can work with the first mum; the other, I can't/won't.

squishysquashy

We are good like that us childminders - parents don't even realise they are being vetted

I think it's more of a gut instinct, whether you like a family and think you can work with them.

I have refused one mother because she had trouble written all over her. And had a history of being unreliable with another CM.
It's a shame because I am sure the children would be fine, I just didn't like her.

Unfortunately it was hard to make an excuse as I had no customers at the time, so I said I was not CMing in the near future, as I was applying to university (which was true) That fell through and lo and behold 6 weeks later my first mindee was in her son's class.
I tried to explain what had happened one morning when I saw her at school. And she said 'Why do you keep telling me about your life?'
Just confirmed what I thought of her.She now uses a friend. And I now know not to be as open and honest with people.

As a CM you have to develop a thick skin, due to parents choosing someone else - even if they are one of your bestest oldest mates And because of the bitchy nature of competing businesses mostly run by women!

Text her or email if you don't want to ring.

Squishy - something to bear in mind, if it doesn't work out with your chosen CM, you may want to go back to one of the others who you also liked, so I definitely wouldn't give a negative reason for not choosing them. Even the 'teachery' angle would make it tricky for you to backpedal if you had to switch to them in future. With those you liked, I'd be really nice about it and say you really liked their setting, you've decided to go with someone else this time, but you'll be in touch if for any reason it doesn't work out. And wish them all the best. Honestly, I have made the wrong choice more than once and ended up going back to someone I had previously dismissed and my god I was glad I had left the options open!