C M CLUB -Mindee scratching.

[saltire]

I have three little ones that i mind, two brothers, one of almost three and one about 14 months. I also mind an 18month old girl. When we go out the two younger ones are in a side-by-side twin buggy, and the older one walks. The problem i'm having is that the girl is always scratching and hitting the little boy. She usually does it in the buggy, but sometimes in the house as well. We were all sitting round on the floor having a story and she grabbed a hnadful of his cheek, and has left big red marks all down his cheek. He is covered in them, the wee soul. I told her it was wrong to do that and took her to the naughty step for a minute.
I'm starting to get a bit worried though, as almost everyday I'm having to tell his parents that she scratched/hit him. I'm worried that they will think I'm not supervising them properly, or worse, that i've done it! I know how i would feel if i was picking my child up and they were all marked.
She is very quick when she does it, and when we are out and it happens i do tell her off straight away and tell her it's wrong.
I'd be interested to know if anyone else has had this happen and how they dealt with it.
I have told the girls parents, and she does the same at home with her elder sisters, if they take a toy from her etc. The girls mum has apolgised to the boys parents.

Could you get a tandem buggy where they are one in front of the other. I had one once and although they are slightly harder to steer, they are a damn sight easier to get into and around shops etc. If you put her in front she would have to turn round to get the little boy by which time you will probably see what is happening. When you are home all i can think of is to distract her if you can see a situation where she may grab him. Get her to come and help you with something you are doing as it sounds like an attention thing if she has siblings. Maybe she could get the washing out of the dryer or something as my 23 month old has loved this since she was one year old. Also if you sit for a short story, have a treat ready and say if you are all nice to each other, you will get a lovely surprise at the end of story. Make it a really short one so you are almost guaranteed success, and then blow some bubbles for them or something. It doesnt have to be sweets.If however she is bad ,remove her from story circle and ignore any bad behaviour but concentrate on reading to other kids. She will learn quicker if you reward the good behaviour than if you punish the bad.Its not black and white as all kids are different, but most of all , beleive in your method and stick with it cos if it doesnt work today, it might work tomorrow. Good luck

I think it is probably an attention thing too.
I have one mindee who has been pinching in similar situations. I have to keep a keep eye out and every time his hand moves in the buggy I warn him not to touch the other one.
In the house its a bit more difficult but he gets a very firm "no" and is immediately put into my hall away from everyone. He howls and pretty much immediately comes back in but knows he has done wrong. Obvoiusly wherever possible I do divert his attention so it doesn't happen but unfortunately you don't always manage.
BTW the other child is starting to push him away now and defend herself more

alison222 i think it is an attention thing. She never leaves her mother alone, her mum does everything with the child either clamped like a limpet to her leg, or ends up having to do everything one handed as she ends up tripping over the child so picks her up. Also the child is insanely jealous of my other mindees and my own Ds. She wants every toy that other children have and will hit them to get it, and if i sit down she stands hitting my knee and screeching wanting up, if i go to make lunch she stands and rattles the stairgate on the kitchen door, twice she has knocked it over. Her latest thing is to get her coat/cardigan/jumper, take it off, then stand beside me screeching to get it on, if i put it on she takes it off and repeats the crying , this could go on and on, but i try to ignore her.
HOWEVER, when the boys aren't here she is a little darling,apart from the fact that she is sooo tired becasue she gets up every day anytime from 2am onwards

2.00Am????[shock]
Are her parents insomniacs or insane?
it sounds like its not just the scratching that's a problem then though. its the whole learning process of sharing your attention with the others.
And the more tired she is the more difficult this is going to be for her. Poor you {sympathy emothion) I don't know what to suggest

saltire I have a similar problem, little girl of 2 i mind keeps attacking the little boy i look after whos nearly 2. I do the same tell her its wrong and sit her out for a minuite but it has no effect on her at all. I have told her parents and they said that the boy must be starting it as she does not normally hit!!! This morning i was putting the rubbish out the back and little girl was just arriving and i heard her dad tell her if any one hits you hit them harder!! Any help>>>>>

Boo. I must admit i would have a word with the father as I would find this attitude totally unacceptable and would explain that unless he backed me up 100% on the no physical voilence policy in my house that I would not be able to look after his child as it sent mixed messages.

Thanks Alison, first childminded children ive looked after and did not know how to react to the dads comment. Thanks

It can be really hard to stop them doing something like this - My own children are no angels at times either, but I do know that the fastest way to get results is if both you and the parents are definatley giving exactly the same message at each instance of the unwanted behaviour. The children soon learn it is wrong. At 2 the why might possible escape them but hopefully the behaviour might stop.
Now if you have any ideas about trying to explain to a 16 month old not to put DH's slippers into the toilet (going through the posting everything phase) I'd love to hear it.....

Alison,The girls mum gets up with her every morning, no metter what time she wakens.child does seem to have a problem with seeking attention. She is my friends child and she scratches, hit and bites her older siblings if they cuddle up to the mum, play with a toy she wants,put the tv on a channel she doesn't want etc. Although the mother does tell her off, she often then gives in to her, where as i don't. She lay on my living room floor crying for 20 minutes one day because she had taken a toy off a child and i made her give it back.
As for stopping your own child from flushing things down the toilet, there used to be a product on the market, which worked similar to those kitchen cupboard locks, and prevented the toilet from being opened by a child

I know about he toilet lock thing thanks. It wouldn't stay on our toilet, and anyway when you have a very independent 3 year old in a hurry the last thing you want is a locked toilet. Leads to too many accidents on the floor.