CM club.....how can I help

[MoonLady]

How can I help one of the parents? 3 year-old mindee gets up constantly in night. Mum is in tears when she drops her off. We've talked about all the methods you see advocated, putting back without speaking etc etc. She says nothing works.
I suggested that on her next holiday from school mother tries to implement this regime for a whole week.
BTW, mindee is darling, never still, sings and dances all day, should be so tired, but has had series of colds and often has patches of excema
I know it's not my business but I hate to see Mum in such a state, I feel as though I have all the good bits of this little one. Any advice?

she needs to choose one method and stick to it religiously - not for a week at a time it needs to be consistant (possibly months). she will get there, can she speak to her health visitor/ gp and get refered to a sleep clinic?

she needs to choose one method and stick to it religiously - not for a week at a time it needs to be consistant (possibly months). she will get there, can she speak to her health visitor/ gp and get refered to a sleep clinic?

oops didnt mean to do that! also just thought id add it took us 2-3 weeks to get dd1 aged 3 to sleep in her own room all night. we just went up every mins (gradually longer intervals) and said go to sleep and put her back into bed. she did try us, even climbed over her stairgate took her nappy off and covered herself in the contents! we didnt give in and she goes to bed without any hassle and she's 6 now. hth

I have to agree with LoveMyGirls. While i know it can be hard and very very tiring but consistency is the key. And perservearing (sp?) for at least a month i think. It will be very hard but this habit is well entrenched by 3 and will take a while for a new routine to become habit IYKWIM.

Start on a friday or on the day that she has the most support from partners/family/friends whatever. When i started a new routine it was always friday night so by sunday it was alot better.

Children that are sleep deprived can be wide awake and seem fidgety because they are so tired or they can be really grumpy. My son gets grumpy, sh becomes very alert.

How does she get up constantly, goes into bedroom, awake and wnting to play, etc need details then might be able to say more.

Cheers for all the messages. I don't think she will ask others for help as she feels guilty and blames herself, probably due to torture of sleep deprivation. Any books I could recommend?
When my daughter was little (too many years ago!!) gave a few doses of some medicine from GP and broke the habit. I know this is frowned on now and needs to be dealt with by addressing behavioural issues.
Little one is always grumpy when mum turns up, having been fine with me. Some control issues perhaps?
jj will try to talk to mum tell her I've been consulting colleagues with some expertise and experience in the field! I'll get back to you if I get any more details, cheers

i have done so many routines and helped out lots of parents so you can cat me if you need to.

i can recommend 'my child wont sleep' but dont know author as ive lent book out for third time. its worked in all cases.

jellyjelly.....I don't know how to cat! Sorry feel I'm like bit of a MN virgin now! Where do I look for translation!

contact another talker, near useful stuff at the top of the page.

Ta will set that up this evening.
I've been asking mindee about her feelings when she's in bed and wakes up. Thought I might dig out some story books about sleeping, night-time etc She has looked really tired today so tried to have some quiet time.

Hi
I've so been there! I'm a Reg childminder and my son 21 mths wouldn't go through. I was in rags! I just got to the end of the road and did cold turkey. He was sleeping through within 3 days...now I only wish I'd done it sooner. He is happier, we are happier, hey...we even have a sex life again!
Basically I stuck a gate on his door and now if he wakes he comes to it has a little groan and gets back into bed. More often than not he doesnt even stir...this is the child who used to end up in our bed every night!
Good luck to her, and good on you for being such a caring minder
Frankie