Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

Original poster

CM club - unreasonable parents re sickness

12 replies

Booh · 20/03/2006 11:51

Blimey - what a morning!

I have been looking after a lille boy, four days a week for 10 months. In that time I have missed TWO days, one DH was ill he had the sickness bug and the second day DD had a sever reaction to anti biotics and we were in hospital.

Now mum arrived this morning, ranting and raving that 'she has to go to work......blah blah blah, and it is inconvienent and if I can't sort it out then she will move her!'

Now what is that all about? And what do I do about it? I have offered her 'alternative' care, but she wasn't happy about that. I have offered to make up the day, but it wasn't convienet to her. We are hardly ever sick, so I don't see what her problem is!

To top it all off, she has dropped her little one today and he is ill, and by rights I should send him home but I just can't face the stress at the moment!

I have a waiting list so if she goes then I could replace her tomorrow! Don't think she understands this, and also she has beeen to see every other CM in a 10 miles radius and didn't like any of them!

Rant over...........what a start to the week!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

colditz · 20/03/2006 12:15

send him home. Just to teach her a lesson, I would.

How dare she speak to you like that!

Twiglett · 20/03/2006 12:17

sack her

dejags · 20/03/2006 12:28

It's unacceptable the way she spoke to you and she is most likely feeling terrible for letting rip at you.

However, there is a particular type of stress relating to being at work on time and having to take time off for childcare reasons which can only be understood if you are going through it. It's a terrible feeling - you feel as if the spotlight is on you, that you are always last in in the morning and first out at night and that you always seem to "need" more than your colleagues without kids. This is the worst part of being a working mum for me - I get so stressed in the mornings about being late and it can be awful for the kids. Our solution is to let DH do more now that he is at home with the children and for me to do 2 or 3 early days a week.

You might find that this was the one day of the week that she is doing a crucial presentation and is just ultra stressed.

No excuse, but I thought a perspective from the other side might help.

HappyMumof2 · 20/03/2006 12:29

get rid of her - what a cheek. And make sure she knows you are self employed and select your own 'clients'

Uwila · 20/03/2006 12:34

Wh don't you just politely give her notice that the rates are going up? And if she doesn't like she can move. And if she pays, then you can consider you get a bit extra to put up with her attitude. Just make sure it's enough extra that it is worth her attitude. Say, oh I don't know, and extra £40 / week.

If you have a waiting list, life is too short to be treated like that.

As a working mum myself, I can relate to the stress of the morning rush and the impact to my day when and if childcare falls through. But, as you say you offered her alternative care and she turned it down then she has only herself to blame (assuming you offered her registered childminders at the same rate she pays you).

Isyhan · 20/03/2006 13:23

All I can say is I know shes stressed and I used to to get stressed when I had to get to work and drop my child off but thats no excuse to behave in that way and she must realise shes making her stress 10 times worse by insulting the only person who can really help her.

Original poster

Booh · 20/03/2006 13:33

thank you all

the thing that gets me is, this mum works for herself, not really a 'proper job' she is kind of arty type who locks herself in her workshop. So I don't think it is the stress factor coming in........I am starting to think that maybe I am a bit expensive for her of something.

I will talk to her again at pick up, and if I don't get a chance will write to her.

OP posts:

tissy · 20/03/2006 13:39

better not tell her that you don't think she has a "proper job" after all, you work for yourself, don't you? She may have a deadline to meet and be under stress, even if she does work for herself.

Original poster

Booh · 20/03/2006 13:45

No I didn't mean it like that at all.........tis me rushing so sorry!

What I meant was she doesn't have to rush and be at the office at a specific time etc etc

OP posts:

beansprout · 20/03/2006 13:59

I don't think she is being reasonable. I get stressed but that just makes me all the more appreciative of a reliable, experienced and damn fine childminder. Her actions and words say more about her than they do about you. Seems that she doesn't like anyone no matter what they do. Yes, it is inconvenient when you have to take a day off but blimey, it's not like it is being done to you on purpose!! I think she would be a bit happier if she were a bit more appreciative of those around her.

MoonLady · 20/03/2006 15:50

I'm also ill today, and luckily had a better reaction from parents than poor Booh. Along with other minders I hate letting parents down, so keep going til I have felt ready to drop. I would not want my child to be minded by someone who felt too ill to do so.
After all, as we are the ones who lose out financially, we aren't going to take days off without any justification.

Isyhan · 20/03/2006 18:17

Sounds like shes bitter and twisted to me. Could it be she resents you spending time with her child whilst she has to work in her workshop? Just joking!

Flip