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would you be happy as a parent if ...........

14 replies

AnxiousElephant · 17/09/2012 23:13

Every time you walk in to the setting anywhere from 315 to 1800 the children are always sat watching TV?
If the childminder put on a 12 film for children as young as 4 yrs and up to 8/9 years?
I walk into the playground unexpected to find that instead of collecting the reception child who has just started school first, she is collecting the 6 year olds ( her own child is 6) ? Leaving the newbie waiting.
I was looking for AIBU but can't find it!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
RaisinDEtre · 17/09/2012 23:26

well wrt the tele being on it all depends on the number of afterschoolies - if mostly schoolage children then y'know, some kids like to choose to wind down after school*

a 12 film, hmm not keen, depends on the actual film really - what was it?

wrt collecting children - the reception age child might be held onto by teacher til adult hoves into view whereas the older children let out by teachers, might be safer for the tiny to be collected last

*I don't much like tele at all but certainly there is a place for it for relaxing, when the children are knackered and not In The Mood for scrabble/ludo/snakes and ladders/making stuff

HSMM · 17/09/2012 23:26

No I wouldn't be happy as a parent (and I am a CM).

The 12 film is a definite no and why isn't the older child coming to meet the reception child, rather than the other way around?

omfgkillmenow · 17/09/2012 23:37

Im a CM and my own dd always has tv on in backgound during afterschool hours. But i make the effort to do things with the other kids and mostly they choose to go outside to the garden or play in the playroom with me, sometimes arts and crafts sometimes little people, whatever, but I always make sure that what is on tv is suitable for the little ones I have sky+ if there is anything she wants to watch that is not suitable. They usually like to relax with their snack then get up and do stuff. If im not happy i get them to put on the wii if raining and they can all play even if the little ones just drive their cow into the fence for the whole game. I would certainly not expect them to sit and watch tv whole time, even if my dd wants to. I pick up p1s first the rest know to look for me in they playground. Usually though it is easy to distract them with more fun things. The only exception is on a monday when I have only dd2(9) and mindee (10) and his mother has told me she doesnt mind tv so up to her really. Other days sorry, but I let them build tracks and slide the cars down or use the play doh or paint, but the best is letting them loose on trampoline and slide to burn off energy, My dd is just a lazybones.

Tanith · 18/09/2012 07:52

As a childminder, not particularly impressed with the 12 film and uneasy about TV if it's all the children and no other activities available. Having said that, one of the prep schools I collect from has an after school club that does this: they watch films until collected.

The school pickup is not an issue and is how I would do it. Reception children are not allowed out until collected from the teacher, whereas the older kids are like eels all over the playground if left. Much easier to get them together, then go to Reception rather than try and track them all down with a tired/scared/confused 4 year old in tow.

Wouldn't it be better to have a chat with your childminder if you're concerned? We can only comment on what you've written - much better to hear from her the reasons why she does something and, if you're unhappy, to give her chance to address that.

ZuleikaD · 18/09/2012 09:59

Absolutely not - either as a parent or a CM. That's too much tv for little ones and the 12 film is a definite no. These things have carefully-thought-through age guidance for a reason.

lechatnoir · 18/09/2012 13:48

No for TV viewing & film as a parent & CM but yes to the school pick-up as like Tanith, our Yr2+ are all let out to find parents but Yr1 & YrR are held back until collected so I'd be checking if this is the case before jumping in!

I wouldnt let my 9 yr old mindees watch a 12 film let alone a 4yr old!! IMO I think a film is suitable for under age is irrelevant as a CM & what goes on in their own home or indeed mine outside CM hours, certainly doesn't always apply when I'm working.

Eta: are you sure

Rubirosa · 18/09/2012 13:54

TV after school - no problem for me

Collecting Reception child last - presumably we're talking a few minutes and they are waiting with a teacher? Unless the child was really upset I wouldn't mind.

12 cert film - completely unacceptable and I would be having a serious meeting with the CM about this.

shesariver · 18/09/2012 16:05

No it wouldnt bother me as a parent regarding TV, my DH is a CM and frequently has the TV on for his after school mindees, but also does outdoor stuff, arts etc to. Nothing wrong with TV for relaxation and enjoyment in children, we use it like that as adults so I dont think chidlren are different. The 12 certificate is different of course and seems a bit odd and innapropriate.

MaryPoppinsBag · 18/09/2012 17:55

Film - not acceptable.
TV - acceptable as children tend to dip in and out of it anyway and wouldn't watch for 3 hours solid IME.
If you have older mindees like me they prefer to watch it as they aren't into toy cars/ play dough painting etc ( your DC will grow into one of these too! Wink)
I find the younger children prefer to play anyway.
I prefer to think of my house as a home rather than a 'setting' and my parents choose my home based on the fact that after school is a chill out zone rather than an extension of school! I always make sure parents know this when they look round.
I do switch TV off if nobody is watching and it is always turned off and kids sit round the table for tea.
School pickups - I pick up in order of class room and Y2 (my DS) is first. And I work my way round. if another class is letting out I'd go there first though.

I am sure your CM isn't picking him up last to intentionally upset your DC though. And unfortunately if your child is picked up by someone collecting a few children (whether it be CM or Nursery) they will have to wait.
Maybe just have a word and ask he she can vary it. Although I agree with posters who have said maybe its easier to pick up younger children last, when all the hustle and bustle has died down.

lechatnoir · 18/09/2012 19:17

Sorry about my dismal post earlier (that'll teach me for not checking when typing on the phone!!) when I said 'no' to tv I meant on constantly for the entire afternoon. My own DC 3&6 (& a few others I know of this sort of age) actually would sit glued for 3 hours left to their own devices so constant TV is a no no for me. Mind you, I do allow TV after tea & homework in the week which is usual pick up time & despite explaining the routine,chances are some parents do think I just park them in front of the TV all afternoon Wink

MaryPoppinsBag · 18/09/2012 19:47

Sorry I meant some TV is acceptable but not 3 hours in my house! They just don't watch it. I have 2 mindees who are picked up at 6pm and some days they are watching TV when their grown up arrives. I turned it off yesterday and we were reading. Today we played with play dough.
I do need them to be sitting down quietly because after a 6.30am start I need to get tidied round ready for the next day. Smile

AnxiousElephant · 20/09/2012 23:04

I'm not precious about tv sometimes but it has been on every time I pick up and I've collected at various times. I think the more problematic thing is no space to do anything other than watch tv, table full of clutter so dc can't do arts and crafts/ jigsaws/ playdough and complain of complete boredom! If it isn't tv its playstation which has one controller/ maybe 2 and 5 children, so lots of time that dcs just stare at a video game.

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salxxx · 21/09/2012 20:07

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LingDiLong · 21/09/2012 20:28

salxxx - what??!

Anxious, I wouldn't be happy if TV was all that's on offer, no. If the TV was on but other activities were on offer then it wouldn't be such an issue I don't think. The 12 film I definitely would be unhappy about - there are 12 cert films that could scare a 4 year old witless.

The school pick up thing wouldn't bother me though, maybe the 6 year old's class tends to come out first?

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