Childcare when commuting to London

[bittenbytailfly]

Hi,

I'm a Dad, so not entirely sure if I'm allowed to post on here, but got a question relating to childcare.

We have a one year old son and presently both live and work in London. It offers a good convenience from picking him up from nursery (I finish work at 5 and can have him home by 5.30), but he's an outdoor type (loves playing in the garden at nursery) and we'd like to move to a house with a garden for him. We also want to be nearby some good schools for when he starts. Unfortunately this isn't particularly affordable in London and so are looking to move back to Essex (maybe Billericay or Shenfield).

The problem we will have though, is that if we move back there, neither of us will get back home until 6.30/7, and most of the schools and nurseries don't offer wrap round to this sort of time. I'm sure we can probably work something out at work for some days, and may even be able to work from home on or two days between us, but for the rest of the time we need some sort of solution.

I'm sure we can't be the only people in this situation - does anyone have any advice or experience of child minders or alternatives and rough idea of pricing?

Thanks!!!

just a thought, r there any ok schools in London so u can take him to a park/big football oval to run and play with a ball a few days a week? When he is older he may far prefer a large area like a park/oval to a small garden. My boys don't play in our garden much now they're at school, like all their friends. They prefer the freedom to kick the ball a long way and often play on school oval after school, and in football practice 2x week and football game w/e. The time with him u would lose in travel if u move would mean the world to him if you can find some way to hold onto that. So lovely to share time 5pm on rather than when he is nearly ready for bed, if possible?

It is not just about wrap around care, it is also about how quick you can collect him if he gets ill. Generally, schools expect parents to be able to collect their ill child within one hour. If on a regular basis the parents are not able to do this, then this can cause quite big issues. Do you have family in Essex which can help out? Also, don't underestimate how tired both of you will be from the daily commute. It is exhausting and increasingly expensive!

If not, I would stay in London. You would have smaller accommodation, but lovely parks, brilliant museums, lots of kids theatre/films, it is a brilliant city to grow up in. You can start looking into schools now and start putting his name down. It is not necessarily the case that inner city schools are bad and schools in more rural areas brilliant. There are pros and cons to both.

I would stay put where you are. You will have more time to spend with your child, more services (including health) near you, lots of culture, lots of activities. Schools are tricky wherever you are and there are no perfect (state) schools. It is give and take.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Lots of dads here

Many childminders will work till 6.30 but 7 is unusual IME. Larger families will often have a live-in (from about £300pw) or live out/daily nanny (from about £450pw) nanny or once they are all at pre-school an au pair (about £70pw for 25 hours but you will need more in the holidays).

I agree with dikkertjedap. Commuting costs and commuting time eat into family budgets and family time in a huge way and create all sorts of logistical problems. Gardens are lovely, but if your DS is in childcare all week he won't be playing in your garden anyway.

Love the idea that 'putting your name down now' for schools will get you a place in a good one! Unless you are going private, which it doesn't sound like OP is. Despite schools, I'd stay in London too - I can't imagine both parents being more than an hour away from a child unless there are hugely dependable other family members within reach, and those 5-7pm hours are so precious once they're at school.

Should have mentioned another common solution to the childcare hours problem for young parents working long hours is for one partner to drop the kids and be in work at 9.30 but stay till whenever and the other partner to leave early and be the first in to work but make it known that they walk out of the door at 5pm come what may. Doesn't work for all professions; if extending your day at either end at a moment's notice is important for career progression you need a live in nanny that can be flexible at both ends of the day: this works out expensive for one child.

It can also be quite soul destroying to work very long hours to fund your nanny and child's fun days in your house and garden.

Realistically, I dont think you can move that far out - look at train routes from the nearest station to your office (if you are the earlier finishing one) - look for places on a fast train line that are 30-45 minutes out. This is why we moved to Sevenoaks - it's less than 30 minutes to Cannon street station and DH works round the corner from there. (DS is in a nursery that's a 15 minute walk from the station.) If you were thinking of Essex, I'd get the train timetables for Liverpool street and plan where you will live based on shortest time on train. (I would only do this if at least one of you work close to Liverpool street)

Don't assume that closer into London is always a shorter commute, a fast train links to bigger towns are better than being on a stopping train from geographically closer to London.

You can't 'put your name down' on a school early, I would however, draw a circle round good schools of around 0.5 miles and prioritise houses in that area, but be warned, houses that are less than a mile to a train station with fast trains to London and less than half mile to a good state school are very expensive throughout the SE.

If you move away from the train station to get more space/closer to a good school, factor in the costs of parking close to the train station/taking the bus and the time for that commute. Also think if you and your DW will have the same commute, if you have to park 2 cars at the train station it starts getting expensive, and arranging to always be on the same train is tricky.

Oh, and schools and nurseries in commuter towns understand about commuting times, because the bulk of the parents do that! DS's nursery is officially 8 - 6pm, but with prior arrangement you can drop off from 7:30am and pick up until 6:30pm (I wouldn't recommend doing both ends), DS's nursery charge an extra £5 per arranged half hour. Childminders similarly know the times parents need and will be flexible (but you will pay for it). Nannies round here charge approximately £9 an hour, most live out.

Could you/your DW put in flexible working requests? One of you go in early so leave early, the other do the other way round so one does drop off, the other does pick up?

We live in Woodford Bridge, have a large semi, a big garden and a massive park over the road for the same cost as our ex-local authority flat in Hackney. Opposite a good primary, near a good secondary, takes us five minutes to walk to the station, forty five minutes in on the tube. TBH though, if we had to have FT childcare, we'd use a nursery in town, as getting a full day in is almost impossible with 8-6 childcare.