Au Pair holiday announcement -- what to do now??

[NorfLondonMumOfTwo]

So my new French au pair who has been with us just over one week announced this morning that she would like to take a week off in October to go on holiday with her father.

I explained that whilst she is perfectly entitled to paid holiday (20 days p.a. pro rata and bank hols) there is no way I can sanction one in October as I am a single parent working FT and due to start a new job on Oct 1st which will mean earlier starts for me. Moreover, my eldest has just started secondary school with a new morning routine plus my parents who normally step in to provide cover will be away then too.

Cue borderline hysterics as the holiday had been booked and paid for before she even joined us! It didn't even occur to me to ask whether she had holidays booked and she didn't mention it when I explained her entitlement.

I'm feeling somewhat aggrieved and not quite sure what to do next. Thoughts??

Did you agree a minimum notice for holidays? Surely if she has given you the required notice period, you will have to honour it? Bit of an inconvenience, and she perhaps should have told you at the interview. However if she is keeping to what has been agreed, I don't think you can do much about it?

Hi bigpaws, no there was no minimum notice period agreed to be honest. And she hasn't exactly given me notice either - just because she has announced her intentions for a holiday in October it doesn't mean I am in a position to agree to it .

I've been giving it some thought and I'm now thinking along the lines of how things operate at my place of work. I work for a small company and I can't just take holiday without making sure it doesn't clash with other colleagues' plans, co-incide with vital projects and so on. I wouldn't dream of actually paying for a holiday without checking with my boss first tbh and I think the parallels are fair here. (And if I was starting out in a new job, I would certainly have mentioned it - she wouldn't have got the gig had she told me and she knows that.)

So it's going to be one of two things I guess; either she accepts she can't go and takes it on the chin or she goes and I am in the market for a new au pair. I shall find out this evening!

NLMOT

Clearly she is not giving you enough notice.

But if you refuse to let her have the holiday, can you realistically find a new au pair by next month?

Well, the way I'm looking at it right now is that I am going to be left high and dry either way. Finding a new au pair by Oct 15th is no more or less challenging than figuring out what the hell to do on the childcare front for an entire week!

She came to me via an agency and a really good one at that, so I shall call in the 'satisfaction guarantee' option if I have to. Hope I don't have to, but I feel she has witheld information from me and the agency which has a direct impact on her ability to do the job she was employed to do. (Starting to think it's all a bit flaky tbh...)

NLMOT

Is this not covered in your contract? Your agency should have had that clearly specified in the contract (it should state how much notice is given and whether it needs to be pre-approved). This is a pretty basic one as most parents are stuck by term time needs etc, so I'd be quite annoyed at the agency if they've given you a flaky contract to use.

tbh you are both at fault - she should have mentioned she had a holiday booked and you should have asked

though obv this doesnt help you now - can you get cover beg borrow steal lol for that week elsewhere via friends/gp's/oh if have one (say a single parent but didnt know if dad about)/temp nanny etc

you obv dont have in a contract, but often in nanny contracts, it will say holiday with a months notice, though generally myself and other nannies will give as much notice as possible - therefore your ap is giving you over 4 weeks

Call the agency and ask for advice. Generally though, when starting a new job, you have to declare any holidays you've got booked before you start.

Is this the same one that arrived and announced she was 'engaged' when the 'no boys' policy was put forward?

Hmmmm....now there's a previously undisclosed holiday booked.

It's a good idea to say in teh invitation letter/contract what your policy on holidays is. I realise that doesn't help you now though, don't mean to crow.

I don't mean to read too much into this but in your shoes I would be wondering if she's had a change of heart about the whole arrangement.

I think I would be ringing the agency too (and saying, sorry but while you are very happy to accommodate her holiday, you need to work together to find a time that is suitable for you both...)

Why yes, LadyHdeS. Well spotted! And you're not crowing....Wise after the fact for the next time, I guess. And she now wants this Friday and Monday off to go home to France this weekend after I said she couldn't take a big holiday in October. She has been here precisely 8 days!! Whole bunch of stuff not done around the house either on arrival home this evening, despite explanation and reminder this morning - in v clear French. Hate to say this, but this is my third AP experience and I think the outset is a good indicator of how things pan out in the log run, atitudinally at least. Hey-ho!

I hardly ever say this as I'm all for giving people a chance, but get rid.

I agree. I think at the heart she is a spoiled brat who will just add to your stresses, rather than relieve them.

There was a poster on here at the weekend with a Swedish AP desperately looking for a place - might be worth a PM to her.

Def sounds like she doesn't want to be there

If 3rd ap - did you not with the other two ask about partners and holidays ??

Make sure you do in next interviews

The thing is...if you let her go back to France this weekend (w/o telling her it's not working out and actually...she's going home for good) I think there is some chance she may not return. Do you have help in place if this happens?

@Blondeshavemorefun - her application form states quite clearly that she is single. Which, technically, she is. There isn't an application form long enough to cover all eventualities and I feel she has been disingenuous by omission. My other two au pairs had bf's back home, but nothing serious. And as I have a 'no boys overnight' policy this has never got in the way of anything. Wise after the fact now though, and I hope this experience will help others avoid a couple of pitfalls.

@LHdeS - she's not behaving as though she wants to go back permanently as she's just shelled out £300 for a EFL course, but in any event the agent is being brilliant and has a bunch of alternative candidates ready to step in. We're going to have another big sit down chat tonight so I can go over everything that I expect of her - in French, for the avoidance of any doubt.

I'm calling time on it in a fortnight if it's still not working. The only thing that's stopping me from canning her right now is that my kids have really, really taken to her, otherwise I wouldn't even blink! And I have my parents 5 mins away in case of a midnight flit. (Though they're in their mid-70s so only a stop-gap really.)

NLMOT

Good luck! I think she sounds like a piece of work....and from (bitter) experience, I would pull the plug and get someone more amenable as soon as poss.

I daresay it will be an interesting conversation chez vous ce soir!