Advice on hiring au-pair away from agency?????

[copey]

Some of you have tirelessly help me with my on-going childcare issues - it is still going on!! Cannot get much help with agencies in trying to find a nanny who wants to come and work in N.Devon - currently registered with 3 agencies and not 1 applicant - did find a girl on nannyshare but no good as she more or less said on interview that she is trying for a baby - bit scared for my first go as employer!! Have been looking on Greataupair.com and found a 'nice' Canadian girl who seems to say/do/tick all the right boxes - but i am scared (slightly dramatic!) as not sure salary (she has experience but no quals, she has a degree and speaks several languages and great references from employer's) what about airfare - is that her responsibility? CRB, the list is ongoing - feel to cheeky to phone an agency for advice - come on girls..help greatly needed!

uwila has a canadian nanny - hopefully she'll see this as i'm sure she will be able to offer loads of useful advice

Hi Copey - I have had a wonderful Canadian AuPair and can give you a bit of advice about hiring her "over the internet". Firstly, whilst she ticks all the boxes, you need to build up a relationship with her. I used to telephone her (2p a minute using call18866.co.uk) regularly and spoke to her family as well. After a month of these (and email) conversations I was sure she was the right one for us. But then I was looking for a unique person to become part of the family.

In terms of salary, I always had a question on my standard template as to what pocket money expectations they had. This always gave me a good overview of the person - ie "I have looked into it and it is around the range xxx" (shows they have initiative). I do know that the GBP to Canadian$ exchange rate is very favourable so this is another attraction of coming to the UK.

In terms of airfare - this is where I am completely different to others. I believe, for an AuPair, the agreement is that you pay for them to come over and they pay to go back (or the other way). But the way I viewed it was that I didn't have to pay agency fees so I paid her airfare (admittedly going home was a Christmas present). I was also very generous in terms of holiday. I used flyzoom.com and the flights were around £220 each way.

I didn't get a CRB check - don't know if such a thing exists in Canada but did follow up (using 18866) all of her references by phone.

One thing you may want to think about is her Visa - I know it took my AuPair around a month to get hers. Also, they are only able to come here on a Working Holiday visa - where they can work for a maximum on one year. Having said that, when my ap went back home to visit at Christmas, she got a letter from UK immigration offering her to extend her visa to 5 years (which she will probably be doing).

Our experience with our ap was a wonderful one and I would have no hesitation in hiring from Canada. But you may want to think about the time difference - they may find it lonely as they can't just chat to their friends over the internet in the evening. The way I got round this was to say to our ap that she could use 18866 anytime (and she did - sometimes over 2 hours) to call Canada. Okay our phone bill was £20 a month more but well worth it.

There is a lot to think about - if you have any further questions, please contact me.

By the way, we now have a Dutch ap who is just as wonderful. Have you had any applicants from Holland? Our ap is over-qualified (a School teacher) but just wanted to be part of our family and try and improve her english. I could ask her if she knows of anyone looking.

Sorry, I just noticed this. Here are my top tips:

1. Dump the agencies, if cost is a factor.
2. Put an ad on nannyjob.co.uk and one on greataupair.com (for great au pair make it very clear that they MUST have nanny experience)
3. My Canadian is helpful, hard working, great with the kids. I deffo recommend them (but mine is staying with me )

Do you want me to ask her if she has any networks of friends back in Canada where someone else might like to come over?

If you point me to the ads, I'll critique them for you. Tell you what you should/shouldn't say to help sell the job. A cute pic of the kids helps. Maybe describe the accommodation (if offering live-in position). If you are not offering live-in then hiring from abroad is very difficult.

Thank you soo much MrsRecycle and Uwila - comments have been fab. Her ad is on greataupair - her name is Mary Anne and she is 23. Don't know to link you, I am not that clever! If you could have a look at her ad for me and offer any tips? My locator number is:486336 and hers is Nanny Profile 473577. I have chatted with her over the phone - I am still unsure of how to progress. She is also in contact a 4 families and wants a few days to decide which one (don't want to start getting competitive!)Salary is difficult as I don't want a cheep option & don't want to insult her but don't want to pay over the odds. She calls herself a nanny due to her xperiences but no childcare quals - although she does have a degree. I will work 4 aftenoons eldest ds will be at preschool in a.m. so she will only have 1. Can I leave her for a full day if i want to pick up extra work? What is 11811?

Sorry i mean 18866

Could I call either MrsReycle or Uwila?

Sorry can't help with hiring an au-pair but another way to say money when they want to speak to family and friends is to use the internet telephone 'SKYPE' we use it to call our family in Canada and it is free as long as they have skype on their computer as well. We have just installed the new version which allows you to use a web cam, which my DD loves as she can see who she is talking to.

I've had a quick look at her ad. At first glance she looks good. She seems friendly and chatty (a good thing in my opinion). Have you done an interview with her? What questions have you asked? Do you have references? Have you spoken to the references?

What exactly was her nanny job? Duties? Hours? Duration of the job?

What things are you really particular about? For example, I'm quite fussy about nutrition. So it's important to find out how nanny eats, and if she would go a bit against the grain if I specify something else. For example, my nanny is not the most healthful eater herself. But, she's very good about following my instruction and feeding the kids nutritious food. So it works well.

Would love to chat more, but I'm afraid I have to go. I have to meet my littel mentee (for work) for dinner then I'll be home to sick kid and DH who I haven't seen since Sunday. Will try to sign on around 10:00. But, if not, you can e-mail me at uwils at hotmail dot co dot uk and I'll write youback.

I have a long list of routine questions I ask if you want them.

uwila at hotmail dot co dot uk

Oh, they are SOOOOOOOOOOOO cute!

How could she possibly want to work for anyone else?

Have you asked lots of questions about her approach to education / discipline? This seems it would be quite impotant to two teachers. Also, ask really really specific questions about nutrition. They all say it's important.... then one day I discovered DD was having white toast with chocolate spread for brekkie. I was not impressed.

It's \link{http://www.call18866.co.uk/\this}. So quick to register and set up (takes minutes) then everytime you call, just dial 18866 before the number (or programme your phone with this number at the beginning of all the numbers).

Mumlove - I was thinking about Skype but the problem was that, due to the time difference (8 hours behind) most of her friends/family were at work and couldn't access their home pc. It's okay when they got home but as this is then 2 or 3 am our time our ap would be in bed. Our new ap (1 hour ahead) uses msn with a camera/microphone and chats over this for free.

Just off to have a quick glance at her/your profile.

Oh you sound a lovely family - and very similar to ours - albeit we have 2 older dds. But their personalities are very similar. Her profile looks lovely but one thing I've learnt is that they'll quote things that they like (ie swimming) but when you actually ask them the last time they went swimming it was years ago. I have a standard list of questions which I think seem to work very well. Subconsciously they cover discipline, food, health and give you a good understanding of their personality.

I always send these out to all applicants and then compose a short-list. If you email Uwila, if she doesn't mind, she can pass you my email address. Feel free to email me and I'll pass them on to you.

Finally, I notice you need a driver - have you made enquiries into the cost of insuring her over here. Her age is a big plus but if you have a brand new car and she's only had a licence for a year you may have problems insuring her (as we did).

Good luck - look forward to receiving your email.

Thanks so much you two. Will defo email when i have put the beasties to bed! You both have been really kind. Advice is brill!

Hi Ladies... I'm new to the, mumsnet, but saw your e:mails abour aupairs. My lovely current aupair is about to leave us (end of April) and I am looking for a new one. Have tried greataupairs, but unsure as to how legitimate the site is??? Any views on it?? Also - I noticed that one of you said she might ask around her au pair for any contacts... could/would you be so kind as to do this for me also?? I live in Surrey, and have 3 children. Not sure what else to say?? Thank-you all! :)

Loopy - I've used a number of sites and personally prefer aupair-world.net. I'll ask my ap to see if she knows of anyone looking - where abouts in Surrey are you (ie nearest town/BR station)? In terms of legitimacy, I believe greataupair has always been a good source of introduction for many parents here but, it goes without saying, that you should fully check all references.

My personal experience is that due to the indepth 25 questions that I used to forward to all applicants I never received a single reply from an ap on greataupair. I used to think I was scaring them off but, having spoke to my current and previous ap, it was the fact that we were so thorough in our search for someone to be part of the family (and not an employee) that probably scared them off. So it really depends on what type of person you are looking for.

I've had quite the opposite experience on greataupair.com. And I too send out a very detailed questionaire. One thing I will say though is that the site is certainly geared toward aupairs and not nannies. But, as you say you are looking for an au pair that should work for you.

As with any hire whether through the internet or not, you need to check references and qualifications yourself!

Where in Surrey are you? We live in Sunbury, which is on the Surrey/Middlesex boarder.

Oh, if you can hold off replacing her until May/June there will be tons of students on greataupair looking to take a year off and come to the UK to sharpen their English skills.

White toast with chocolate spread? Oh no! It would be chocolate sprinkles here (but not in Mrs Tanzie's house - we are strictly porridge and weetabix here).

Hello all,

Thank you for all the responses. We are in Weybridge. Uwila, do you have a copy of your questionnaire?? - I think others have requested it from you... you'll have to start charging!! My current aupair leaves end of April, so May is the key month. We are starting to think that we should take a "summer" aupairto tide us over until the long term aupairs start applying, as you say - June/July time.... but I really hate to give my girls an aupair they grow fond of who leaves within a few weeks. - We have found apoosible candidate on greataupair - but a male aupair, and I've got all girls! - Comments anyone???

Loopy spoke to my AP about your timescales and she said that most APs like to go home for the summer so you may find it difficult finding a long-term AP in May. Mind you if you have an AP who isn't on a Gap Year you may find someone long term (as we did). I do find it takes a month for an AP to find her feet and get used to everything. Would you be prepared to invest your time in training up two APs in a short space of time? In terms of my dds getting attached to our APs, it normally takes around a couple of weeks and then the love is there. When the APs move on, they are all excited for the new AP who is coming. Kids are more resilient than us (and my dds are 8 and 5).