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need some help wording this to parent...

31 replies

SkinnyMarinkADink · 03/09/2012 16:33

I am a cm. Only look after one child 50 hours a week.

When i found out i am pregnant the plan was to carry on till the baby is almost due (January) then have 6-8 weeks off and get back to work, i have since discovered that i will get maternity allowance and its not a great deal less than i am paid for this child so there is the first change that i am going to take the full 9 months off to spend time with new baby and dd.

Next problem, the child i look after is a totalnightmare, his mother doesn't support me with any behaviour issues nor does she support me in other ways, maybe it is hormones but a couple of examples...

I was admitted to hospital a month ago, she bugged my dh constantly as to when i will be back to Work

we have recently moved to an area out of her way, as a compromise i agreed i would meet her in the mornings at her work, however i did say if her or her dp are not at work they could drop off and pick up from me to give me a break from driving dd out early every day..she agreed however her dp refused to and most mornings for the last 2 weeks i would drive home behind him every mornings at 7.30am.

I feel they are very inconsiderate to me and most of all each week i am out of pocket because the child's food needs have changed yet when i mention she needs to pay more it gets shrugged off.

anyway, i now have spd and made the decision i will go on maternity leave from the end of October, i am feeling to stressed to deal with the poor behaviour and inconsiderate parents for the rest of this pregnancy.

How do i broach this in clear terms? Im not very clear and don't like to confront people with anything. i can't carry on like this though.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
bigpaws · 09/09/2012 06:24

Give immediate notice. Don't wail til the end of Sept. They are giving you no consideration. Some kids are always snotty, but 6 ear infections in 12 months?!

Don't totally rule out returning to childminding. You have just had bad luck with this family. It can be such a lovely job when you work with grateful parents and their adorable children. Like someone else said, you might meet a friend at Baby Group looking for childcare.

Have time to enjoy your child before baby arrives. Good luck with pregnancy. Relax, and review things in 9 months time. X

bigpaws · 09/09/2012 06:26

Meant 'Dont wait...' but 'Dont wail..,,' is actually a good error!!

SavoyCabbage · 09/09/2012 06:38

I think you should give the notice straight away. Don't discuss it with her. You might pick up some easier childminding duties once you are feeling stronger. Once people see you are free they might ask you.

SkinnyMarinkADink · 09/09/2012 09:37

Hi all, thanks for more support replies they mean alot!

on Friday the parent asked me if i would take 3 weeks off u paid as they are short for money..

I firstly pointed out, i wouldnt be able to pay my bills if i did that..(if i could afford 3 weeks with no money I would not be working)

Dh then said to agree to doing 3 day weeks for the time she asks. i get time off away from her and she saves money so its a win win really, i spoke to maternity allowance people too and they have told me i cant get ma till 29 weeks, claims from 26 but no money till 29. so i am going to have to stay on a little longer, but with the 3 day weeks in the middle it will hopefully fly by.

Re eating... he has always been a total nightmare, he was only eating jars (10month) upto a few weeks ago. i have no idea what he eats at home but for me he is now eating property food its taken me a very very long time to get him eating.

OP posts:
SkinnyMarinkADink · 09/09/2012 09:39

Missing un in unpaid there

OP posts:
LonelyLou · 09/09/2012 13:40

SMAD! Just when you think it can't get any worse she comes up with more ways to take advantage of your good nature.

There's a saying:
"If you've always done what you always do.
You'll always get what you've always got"

Don't be a doormat and try to reply "Let me think about that" or "I'll get back to you on that." when anyone requests anything of you. This gives you thinking time before you drop yourself in it again.

If you don't want to do it, try:
"I'm flattered you've asked me but..." as saying an outright "No" is not easy for you is it?

She's obviously neglecting her child as she's not a mumsnetter! We know this as she would have seen this thread and taken the hint by now. Grin

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