starting to be assertive....

[broodyandpoor]

My boss gives me my hours for the week on a sunday, this sunday she gave me Thursday am off so I made various plans to pit my car in the garage and meet an old friend for lunch.
Today I get an email asking me to go there at 10 am on Thursday meaning I would have to cancel these plans.
I have emailed her to day I am sorry but have made arrangements this is the first time in 2 years Ive said no, what do you think

I think that's perfectly reasonable of you.

I have also decided to be assertive due to my boss making big changes at work - I can be assertive by email but am dreading trying to stand my ground later in the week at a scheduled meeting :(

I know I think that if the worst thing that happens is that the atmosphere turns toxic when they realise they cant control me then maybe I shall just move on to a place where I'll be more respected.

I have spent 2 years bending over backwards and always being available; and as soon as I object to something the tension and atmosphere at work just becomes unbearable. Worse when it's over something reasonable; and they just can't see it. Most the time I really like and respect my boss but when the atmosphere changes I often consider finding a new job.

My Boss is the same.

As soon as I say No, or there is a problem which they create, the atmosphere/relationship suffers.

If only they did as they were told

Wow I could have written those last 2 posts myself, I think us nanny types need grow some
Good luck Mog, sometimes parting ways is the best thing for your happiness.

Having hours given to you on a sunday doesnt give you much leeway - maybe get hours/days a month in advance

I'm assuming you get a day/am off that's different each week

That makes planning stuff whether garage doctor or seeing a friend hard

You are quite within your rights to say no as you are busy - but if you weren't then I would probably be flexible and swap days

I think it's reasonable of you. Stick to your guns. I hope your employer takes it okay. They shouldn't have even asked at this point unless it was an absolute emergency.

Oooh feeling a bit nervous now, (work in 2 hours after my assertive email)
I hope they dont make my day too hard and hope I can stick to my guns

If you don't look out for your best interests, who will? You are well within your rights to say no at this late stage. I dare say if you needed to make a last minute appointment and take time off they wouldn't hesitate to say no if it didn't suit them.

I know Im just a bit crap at being assertive, I have allowed them way way way past what is comfortable boundaries in the past (telling them over and above stuff about my life) so it will be a shock for them and Ive made myself an uncomfortable bed to lie in.
I suppose Im just teaching them how I want to be treated I just don't want it to come across as harsh or over the top, I need to work through these feelings before I get there so that I will cool when Im there and can just get on with doing my job.

You are being completely reasonable to say no, I'd never dream of asking my nanny to change her days with that short notice.