Any childminders with own dd/ds - can you help please?

[massivebigMissCathCartface]

I've posted about my own dd behaviour in response to me childminding

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/a1549222-DD-having-emotional-and-aggressive-tantrums-I-dont-know-what-to-do-next-Please-help#33766020

Has anyone else had problems? How did you handle it?

Any advice appreciated!

I am a childminder and have Dcs age 12,6,1 year old also. My 6 year old daughter is very similar to yours. She can be amazing but is so attention seeking when the minded children are here. It's hard work for sure and for the first time ever (as she is normally so good) I have had to use a star chart for her. I started off being lenient for first week then got tougher with the awarding of the stars. Last week she managed 25/30 which was amazing as first week despite being easy she managed 20!!!!!!!!!! Find a reward system that works and also make sure she has somewhere to go that's just hers. Dd uses her bedroom and I make it clear that when I'm working she HAS to be respectful of the other children as if mummy didn't work she wouldn't get nice clothes /holidays etc. it's tough but at age 5/6 she is old enough to understand consequences.

I have a 2.5 year old so different issues. He loved it when i started minding, says his friends are coming to play but when we got busier - i have an assistant and 5/6 kids each day, he started to struggle, gets jealous has tantrums gets really clingy, whines and says wants them all to go home.

During the day i make sure i get him to myself for a couple of minutes as often as possible - easier with an assistant but also when other kids are asleep, give him little treats, toy cars or choc buttons or something and sit him on my knee and make a big fuss of him. After the kids leave for the day he always gets a treat, ice lolly or something nice. I ask him to help during the day - fetching baby wipes handing out drinks etc and call him my helper. its paying off and he is geting much better, i found the more i told him off the worse he got so i almost ignored the bad behaviour and gave him lots of love and bribery!! not sure how helpful this willl be as your daughter is older but i do feel your pain, good luck, i have spoken to other childminders and they all seem to go through this but it always seems temporary and she will accept it, do you mind any the same age as your daughter or can you so its more of a friend to her than a mindee?

oh that is reassuring to hear! I was beginning to think I was doing something wrong. Thank you so much

I have made very clear to all the children that DD's room is hers and I do make a big fuss of her when they have gone, we always have cuddle time.

I have been a CM for 4yrs. My DDs were fine when I started out, but they do sometimes get annoyed with it now. School holidays are difficult to manage; as is after school.

I have addressed issues as they arise. My DDs resented me using their old toys for CM - therefore I paid them a small amount for a box of their toys to ease the stress!!

My 10yr old can be useful at time - she gets extra pocket money for being helpful around the house when I am so busy.

I use holiday clubs and after school/PE clubs whenever possible. I felt guilty about using them, however my two see it as a treat to go!

I have concluded the positives of CM
Outweigh the negatives. I genuinely love my job and wouldn't want it any other way.
I am sure your DD will settle back into her routine after the summer break.

I posted on your link, sorry ..