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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

What to do re Nanny..............

40 replies

lemonstartree · 13/03/2006 16:01

Our nanny (our first) has been with us since September. During that time she has had 5 weeks holiday (4 weeks ours and one week hers) Unfortunately she has been offsick a lot - well I think its alot - today is the 9th sick day and tomorrow will be the 10th.

My husband and I both work full time I dont thnk the job is that awfully busy - we have 3 children but the eldest is at school and the middle at nursery for 2.5 hours a day. Its 10 hours a day tho we do try to let her go early once or twice a week.... we have buildres in at the momnet so its not the best working environment...........

we are reaching the end of coping with her sick leave- I do genuinely believe she is ill and its not the paying for it - its the stress and disruption. I think she is generally just prone to picking up germs and things...........

My husband has considered giving up his job to stay at home for a few months - if so she would be redundant - I know we cant sack her for being ill -and I think she is a good nanny when she is here - but we need reliable childcare ,and despite the back up of two reasonably fit grandparents nearby its not possible to constantly dump 3 children on them at short notice..................

any advice ???? How can i say , nicely, sorry but you are not up to the job health wise ???

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

staceym11 · 13/03/2006 16:11

you could start by mentioning to her how many daysshe has had off as she may not realise, and then prob ask here what trouble does she think this causes you, even though you dont resent her being ill and dont think she is faking it still doesnt make it easy if she is constantly ill. that is probably the best way to go! it might get her to buck her ideas up and stay away from people with the coughs and colds! lol

krabbiepatty · 13/03/2006 16:13

You can actually dismiss her for being ill too frequently. Generally speaking she cannot claim for unfair dismissal if she has been with you less than a year (apart from some specialist kinds). It sounds like her health isn't good enough for your needs and you should be looking at letting her go - you could wlawys give her a trial period to prove that she can improve her attendance and if that doesn't work let her go after that (watching out that you do not let it drag on past September)...

collision · 13/03/2006 16:18

It is too much time off IMO (and as a former nanny!)

What sort of illnesses has she had?

If she is prone to coughs and colds suggest she tries echinacea. My Dh swears by it and hasnt had a cough or cold since before December. Before that he was ill every other week!

She must know what a pain it is for you and Im surprised by the amount of time she has had off!

Uwila · 13/03/2006 16:51

Oh, this is a tough one. When does your contract expire? Is it a fixed term contract. In other words is it say a 12 month contract where it ends on Sept. 1st, or whenever? If so, you won't have to make her redundant, the contract will simply end at a given date.

This is difficult. I would have a hard time coping with so many unexpected days off, as would DH.

Does she know that you are considering letting her go based on her absenses?

HappyMumof2 · 13/03/2006 17:00

that's far too much time off since September. Can you not give her notice? not sure how a nanny contract works, but I know with a cm you can give 4 weeks (or whatever) notice.

She's definately taking the p* Are you paying her for when she's sick?

Original poster

lemonstartree · 13/03/2006 17:43

yes we are paying her when she is sick I really honestly do think she is ill - I know she is ill......and I am the worlds biggest cynic re illness.

But we cant go on like this -

I feel sad, and guilty (dont know why) and upset at the thought of talking to her , and worried about what I will say if contacted for a reference.....

OP posts:

Original poster

lemonstartree · 13/03/2006 17:56

Sorry Uwila - no its not a fixed term contract, and although we pay for sick days if it is longer than one week contiguous it becomes SSP only.....

I need to speak to her when she comes back - Its D&V, tonsillitis (twice), all infectious stuff. And she is NOT fit to work at these times. I find it hard to discipline someone for something which is not their fault....

OP posts:

HappyMumof2 · 13/03/2006 17:59

that's a lot of sickness for an adult! Is it her first job? has she been around kids before, as normally you build up an immunity.......

Lynzie · 13/03/2006 19:16

Thats not fair on you guys, that why you emplo a nanny

Ive worked for a nursery for nearly 3 and a half years and ive only had 4 or 5 days off sick in that whole time, and that was because I broke my toe and suffered really badly from pink eye, which prevented me going to work as i was contagious so i had to stay off.

She should go to work if she only has coughs or sniffles, as she needs to build up her immune system. Maybe approach on pay day and say, this is the amount of time you have had off sick, and its not working, and say you need to see a vast improvemnet in her days she comes in, otherwise you will not pay for sick pay. Might make her more keen to come in, if she knows she isnt getting paided

where are you based??

Original poster

lemonstartree · 13/03/2006 19:47

Thanks guys - we are in Kingston (surrey). This is not her first job, infact she is an experienced nanny and lots of sick leave was not mentioned in her references............When I asked her at interview about time off she said she was hardly ever ill......I am 'pleased' you guys also think it is a lot of sick leave - I think I'm losing perspective being so close -but then I have only had 2 days off in 6 1/2 years.........

OP posts:

Uwila · 13/03/2006 21:39

Hey Lemonstartree. We are (almost) neighbors. I'm in Sunbury. Gosh I wish I had more advice for you, but I just don't. It's hard as you say because it is not ma tter of discipline as she has not chosen to be ill. And as you say that you do genuinely believe that she is truly unfit for work, what else can she do. However, you have comitments and her circumstances are keeping you from meeting them. So, sadly, you have to do something about it. I wonder, could you find a childminder in the area who could do ad hoc care when she is sick? Not ideal, but you could perhaps get 8-6 cover on those days. Would that be any good?

Original poster

lemonstartree · 16/03/2006 18:20

So, we have a resolution.

After much thought and heartsearching, my husband has decided to jack in his job and do full time childcare which makes our Nanny redundant..........

I told her this evening and admitted that the sick leave had kind of pushed us /him into that decision. We were both upset; I because she is a good nanny when here and she because she said she really loves the job.... Ho Hum

Onwards and upwards.

any advice for stay at home dads?? :)

OP posts:

ThePrisoner · 16/03/2006 18:38

Get him on Mumsnet??

nannynick · 17/03/2006 19:58

Agreed, it's not just for mums

If you DH wants moral support, he can always e-mail me... not a SAHD myself but close to it seeing that I'm a male nanny.

Best bit of advice - tell him to enjoy himself. Do things he enjoys, things the children enjoy. Experience life, get out and about, don't stay at home all day.

Original poster

lemonstartree · 19/03/2006 20:44

NannyNick- where are you based ?

thanks for your support, it feels like a big step into the unknown.............

Dh is extremely active and I have no doubt that the boys will be out and about a LOT in his care....

I also know that he loves tham very much :)

still feel a bit anxious .....

OP posts:

collision · 19/03/2006 20:50

I left Dh with the boys on Saturday for 2 hours and thought the house had been bombed when I got back!

The children were alive though and that is what counts!

Will your Dh do all the housework and cook etc or just childcare?

Original poster

lemonstartree · 20/03/2006 08:46

He will do cooking (most of it) and keep the house tidy ( we have a cleaner once a week)and do the laundry, and shopping and the little things that always need doing (going to the post office/car tax etc etc)

I expect I will do what cleaning there need to be done, the ironing, reminding him to get the car tax (!) etc :)

OP posts:

bran · 20/03/2006 09:21

Are there many SAHDs where you live LST? There have been a few posts on MN about SAHDs finding it hard to make friends in areas where they are the only man, but where I live there are quite a few SAHDs and they seem very happy with what they're doing and don't find it hard to socialise at all.

matnanplus · 20/03/2006 09:34

Glad it's all worked out, Lemon.

Tho have to say in 16yrs as a nanny i have had 7 days off, i worked with tonsillitus and 4 days of sick time were from food poisonong [2 bouts] while attending parents' friends' childrens parties.

Is Mr Lemon a list person, it can sometimes be easier to list all the regular chores and then build into that funtime morning and afternoon

nannynick · 20/03/2006 13:45

I work in Windlesham, Surrey. Don't expect you know the village, so if you know the M3 motorway - it's Junction 3.

arfissimo · 21/03/2006 10:44

Hi Lemon,

Sorry to hear about your nanny, although at least it's all sorted out. I had terrible trouble with my nanny, who was the worst hypochondriac in the world (although I realise yours was genuinely ill!).

I'm normally in Kingston but have been in Sydney for the last few months. Still own a house there, near Richmond Park (Queens Gate).

I'm trying to think of any groups/clubs I went to in the area that involved dads for your DH. There was an all dads session at the Gymboree at St Margarets, but that was on Saturdays. I actually found Kingston very poor for things to do with DD, which is surprising considering what a family area it is.

I'll keep thinking, what ages are your children? BTW, which nursery are you using? Just interested because I used a couple in the area and would like to hear your views.

nannyme · 21/03/2006 12:48

I find many of the replies here about too many days off sick utterly disgraceful. Why do you think we have employee rights? Thank goodness lemostartree showed some compassion - the rest of you certainly haven't. I assume you would all be fine if you got the sack following time off of more than a few days then? Hope none of you become iller than your average cold or you could find yourelves out of a job if we apply your rules.

Definitely best to drag ourselves in to work - to make the kids and parents sick with the same, and to save our jobs. Brilliant!

Uwila · 21/03/2006 13:01

"Why do you think we have employee rights?"

That is a very good question, nannyme. I suspect it is so Gordon Brown the tax and spend monger can collect yet more taxes from working parents.

I'm bored today. Let's debate why nannies should be employees. (don't say because it's the law. I want to discuss why it is the law.)

Bink · 21/03/2006 13:07

Because there are principles which determine between employment and self-employment, which apply across the board - fishermen and miners and hod-carriers and nannies and teachers and everyone. If you choose what you do, when you do it, how you do it, and on and on, you are self-employed; if you are given instructions and have to work within someone else's framework (hours, location, etc.) you are employed. And those principles are there to protect people who are required to work to someone else's requirements from the danger of exploitation which is inherent in that power relationship.

I expect that the cockle-pickers who drowned were told they were self-employed.

Uwila · 21/03/2006 13:24

So how come the engineers that sit on the floor below me who come to this same place to work every day through an agency are contractors? So is the woman who sits next to me and work in IT.

They don't get 4 weeks holiday. They don't get sick pay. They have no pension. They aren't eligible for redundancy... the list goes on.

Why is this?

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