ok.. Swedish au pairs.. anyone??

[chloeb2002]

I think more than being swedish it may just be a personality issue... our current ap has been with us since June 20th. she is nice and the kids love her. i would say a bit too laid back maybe, certainly has no idea what house work is let alone a vacuum.. however i also done push the issue. Again the kids love her and she communicates really well with them and even talks to kindy staff etc. her English is very good. i am sure that from rural Sweden to brisbane is a shock and a change but my friends and especially dh struggle to even get a good morning from her. At times she does talk to me but very limited and bloody hard work to get more than a yes no and hello from her! she is slowly making some friends but spends alot of time at home sat in her room. it may be a long year....

It's just her.

I've lived in Sweden and have had 3 Swedish APs (amongst others). Generally they are very very breezy and have the sort of 'no worries' attitude to requests that ought to make them fit in perfectly in Oz. She sounds young....

The only advice I have is to be accepting of her social habit of staying home alone right now. If she feels like her quiet, private time is respected as a choice and is not indicative of some inherent personality flaw, she will probably have an easier time opening up as time goes on. To me she sounds like a young AP who is also a natural introvert - someone who has an easy time connecting with children, or making conversation with people she encounters during her daily routines, but has a harder time opening up with adults who are closer to her. She will get there! Perhaps you can get some conversation out of her by using the kids as a platform, since she should be able to speak positively about them without feeling uncomfortable? Ask her about what they did on their outing, compliment her on her interactions with them, etc.

Our first aupair was a bit like this- although she did make friends quite quickly. She was just very reserved around us. At the time, like you, I wished for something more a bit more bubbly which lead to us choosing our second (disastrous) aupair after she left.
Our current aupair has been with over 2 years now and whilst a lot of stuff has gone well (or else she wouldn't have been with us so long) the way she consistently oversteps the family boundaries has left me yearning for the days of the reserved aupair who respected our privacy.

I don't think you can attribute the characteristics of one au pair to an entire nation tbh.

I agree with the others, if she is quiet/enjoys her own company then so be it. It's her free time if she want to sit alone in her room then she should be able to, if she doesn't want to engage in lengthy conversation with you then she doesn't have to.

If it's getting in the way of her performing her duties i.e. if she didn't pass on a message from a teacher/didn't tell you that one of the kids had hurt themselves etc. then that would be a different issue, but it doesn't sound like this is the case.