dd suddenly crying when being dropped off at CM

[GreenBeer]

DD has been going to CM for 9 months, since she was 9 months old and really liked going, no tears etc. The other little girl the CM minds has been getting a bit rough with DD but CM has been keeping an eye on it and I Know that the other little girl is just doing what little kids do (testing their world!) and I think that it is all under control.

However for the last month DD has started crying hysterically when we drop her off (her dad does some morning drop offs and she clings to us both). The CM has asked us to drop and run but I made it very clear when I first met with her I don't like this and didn't want to do this and she was fine with this...until now.

I feel terrible leaving DD obviously when she's upset and know that she will cry but I don't want to hand her over and vanish instantly...I want to be able to say a proper goodbye and give kiss.

Is this a normal phase for kids to go through, hating being left after being fine, and I'd even say happy, to go to the CM?

it sound as though DD is moving through separation anxiety and the kindest thing to do is drop and run, to minimise distress to DD. I do appreciate that you want a kiss and cuddle, can you do this as you get her out of the car? (what does a proper goodbye look like?)

It is a phase and will pass

Yes actually I suppose I could do it before we go in, hadn't thought about that! I just like to see her in and being settled... Think I will try that tomorrow and ask my DH to do the same and see how that goes.

good luck, it's horrid but I promise 'twill pass

My ds is too young to have gone through this but I did read the no cry separation anxiety book and it had some useful tips I thought. Must be so hard for you

My ds does this every time I drop him at nursery. If I stayed till he was settled then I would be there the whole session which would defeat the point of him going. He only goes once a week and has only been going a couple of months but I know almost as soon as I leave he is fine and stops crying. He is 2 tho. And when I ask him after if he had a good time he always tells me he did.

Forgot to say. Its still hard to do but I just do it. Besides if I didn't drop and run I think I would be crying too!

Another CM here saying drop and run. Be very positive on the journey. Give a cuddle and kiss. Say goodbye and leave with a cheery smile and wave. Don't worry as long as CM says all ok.

Ex cm, yes quite normal behaviour but obviously upsetting. Keep smiling, positive vibes to your dd, kiss, cuddle, leave.

Get cm to text u a picture, I used to do this and often the smile was captured as mom drove off the drive.

It will pass.

Can I just emphasise that this is a phase? Even my DD, who had never left us and was used to the other minded children all her life, went through a clingy phase.
It's a developmental stage and, to be perfectly honest, I'd worry more if she didn't go through it

When I drop DS2 (15months) off in his room at nursery he screams the place down and flings his arms round me. I take DD up to her room and by the time I come back down (2-3minutes later) he is playing happily. He's better if I let him walk in himself rather than carry him but if he starts wailing then he gets a kiss and chucked at his key worker who gives him a big hug and takes him off to look at a toy. Your CM is right- that is the best way to deal with it.

my DD went through this phase around the same time so I pushed her start time back 15minutes so it coincided with CM setting off on the school run, I got there, strapped her into CMs pushchair and left -much less traumatic for all involved

Thanks everyone. I will say goodbye outside then hand DD over quickly to CM tomorrow. But glad to know its a phase and hopefully it will pass soon!

Another CM... Happens all the time.... :-(
I normally send mom's / Dad's a photo of a smiley little face after 60 seconds of them leaving... does the trick that poor old Mommy can be assured and go to work Happy... Good Luck... We do know it's hard... x

Definitely drop and run after a quick, clear, loving good bye. The longer you stay, the worse it will be for your child. I had one mum who lingered and lingered and hung around saying good bye until eventually the poor child was hysterical.

I also do what Poppiesmom does and send a text photo of a happy, busy, engaged little one .

(Poppiesmom, you a Saffer, too??)

DS (3) still does this with his CM most days and I am told that he stops immediately we're gone so yes, I would say just drop and run and hopefully for you it will just be a phase. I must admit, after 2 years I am starting to worry about DS though - he's almost old enough to really express an opinion so I'll have to ask him soon!

Another CM agreeing here - the longer the chat/goodbye the worse the tears in my experience. Definitely drop and run.