Too many children?

[hmo2b]

I am due to return to work in Nov/Dec following 10/11 months of maternity leave. I had a childminder lined up who I have known for years and who, for the last two years, has collected my other two children from school once a week. However, I bumped into her today while I was out and just this week she has taken on a baby who will be 1 in November (just as my 9 month old will start). I suppose I am a bit gutted as I was under the impression that my baby would be the only little one there. She also looks after a 2 year old. My gut reaction is that she is taking on too much. I have fairly large age gaps between my three children and the thought of 3 children under 3 fills me with horror (although I know loads of people would disagree). So what do I do? I know and trust her but like I say, I feel she is taking on too much. How much attention will my little one get? What if he needs feeding at the same time as the other one? On the plus side, he will have a little friend to play with as he gets older. Am I over reacting? My only other options are to find another childminder (not very easy) or to go the nursery route (not sure about that either!). Help!

Well if you went down the nursery route it would be one carer to three anyway . This often doesn't happen in practice, I would stick with a cm if I was you.

I've done that several times as a CM and as you say, they can grow up together. Sounds great to me.

Have a chat with the CM if you are concerned.

3 little ones are easier than a 4 yr old getting bored with baby activities.

I agree with hsmm

I have done three under 3 many times and find it much easier than say a baby, a 2yo and a 4yo. The day is much more structured to the one age group rather than spreading thinly between 2/3 different ages.

I know how you feel (had to change CM at very short notice and best one by far had 2 other toddlers the same age as mine to care for) but my DD3 has thrived on the company and talks about them all the time. They can always have 3 under 5 so you never know what format the group will take. Back with old CM now and I know I will get a bit precious when she takes on a baby as I am sure she will next year!

Where I am most childminders seem to have 3 under 3 as lots of children move onto nursery at 2 or 3. When DS started at his CM there were various combinations of a 9 month old, 11 month old, 13 month old and 14 month old on various days.

Hi there,
I understand from a mothers point of view, that it can all seem so much and you worry that your childminder wont cope. But from a childminder's point of view - It's our job, our profession. We can cope, because that is what is expect of us. We are used to juggling all ages, buggies, bags etc. etc.

Your childminders focus should be solely on the children in hand. Unlike you as a parent who has to juggle household chores etc. as well as seeing to your children's need.

I have often been asked by people "How do you cope?" The answer is simply that it is my Job, and I wouldn't do it if I wasn't capable...

All the best
Niamh

The thing is, though, that she's a professional who has probably looked after 3 under 3s many times. I work with my husband and we've had 5 under 3s before now! I think they're much the easiest age group: they haven't learnt the b.o.r.e.d. word yet

Why don't you have a chat with her? I'm sure she wouldn't mind and can easily set your mind at rest.

I'm a CM and I too have had at least two batches of three under-threes, also my own are close together in age and I agree with those saying that it's much easier when they're in the same sort of age-group.

Many thanks. You have all helped to put my mind at ease. I will probably have a chat to her about my concerns too but this "chat" has been invaluable.

As others have said 3 Under 3 is much easier then 3 under 5 and a bored / active 4yr who wants different things and then 2 babies

This is our profession - so yes your cm is more than capable and you have a cm who can pick up your older 2 and more importantly can trust

Trying to find a new cm who can take on all 3 may be hard

It sounds to me like you are feeling sad about leaving your child with someone else that isn't a direct substitute for you - you are being naturally protective. You need to let go, or stay at home.

It could be worse - it could be triplets, how hectic would that be :) I think they are close enough in age and as the youngest, yours is likely to benefit more in terms of attention and also development by watching the two older children.
However, is that it ? Is she also going to be doing school runs with your two oldest etc etc ? That would be stretching things massively in my book.

Agree with most other posters, this is her chosen profession and there is nothing unusual with those ages for a childminder :) 4 years ago I went back to work with my 10 week old ds2 and 5 year old ds1, I was looking after an 8 month old, 17 month old and 18 month old so on many occasion, I had 4 little ones aged 18 months and under as well as a 4 year old mindee and my 5 year old so 6 children aged 5 and under at the same time. I won't pretend it was easy but it was great fun and these children grew up with very close bonds (all still with me). I would actually say that sometimes I reflect and think it was easier when all these children were that age and not the ages they are now! (couple of them very much need to be in full time school! )

Anyway, I can see how to an outsider it may seem like way too much to handle but you have to remember that other people's children are a completely different kettle of fish! If I had 6 x my own children to look after, I would be saying something VERY different!!