Taking au pair on holiday...what's the protocol?

[JinxyCat]

Hullo mumsnetters - we are thinking of booking a September sun holiday and I'm just wondering what most people do about their au pair when they go on holiday?

Do people offer to take them, and agree that they work their normal number of hours (with any changes that both parties are happy with, I'm thinking a reduction in hours but maybe mornings so we can have a lie in!)

Or do you offer that they can come, and you pay half - and then they're on 'holiday' and help out in the same way that any member of your family would?

Or do you just offer that they have the time as paid holiday, and that they can do what they want (stay at yours by themselves, go home to their family)

I know it's a spectrum and people will do all of those things, and some ones I probably can't think of - but I'm wanting to set my expectations of how it works for other people before talking to her...

We're based in London, our AP is English, she does 35 hours a week for us, and will transition to be our nanny when I go back to work in October. We pay her £110 per week + travelcard and have given her 5 weeks holiday as part of the package. The holiday is likely to be approx £600 per person for a week away...

As always, advice appreciated!

do you need her when you are on holidays? if not, I would pay her for the week but leave her at home. She might prefer to go and visit friends rather than go on holidays with you.

When I was an aupair, the family went on holidays and left me in the house in London. They still paid me and left plenty of food in the fridge, so I think it was fair.

If you need her while you are there, I think you need to be very clear about her duties while on holiday, so that she doesn't end up looking after the DC day and night.

An Au Pair is supposed to be treated as a member of the family, that's what "au pair" means - an equal.

I think the reasonable thing to do within the spirit of the au pair system would be #1 (with a bit of #2) - to take her with you, paying all her expenses as you would if she was a member of the family, still expect her to help to a reasonable extent but with a reduction of hours as it should be a holiday for her too and you will have more time for the kids yourself - I don't think it would be fair for you to have all the lie-ins - share the mornings between you and the au pair, and the evenings too, so that you all get some proper holiday.

But if the girl is English, she might not want to spend her holidays with her employers. She might have family here that she wants to visit. It is different when the AP is from abroad and she's trying to learn the language and experience as much as possible the English culture. I think you need to ask her what she would prefer.

you say she is English - Do you mean British

IF, she is British, why is she being treated as an 'Au pair' - --

• if she is British, she is not on a cultural exchange.... and should be being treated as a Mothers help / trainee nanny

I have only had foreign aupairs and they never minded we never took (or offered to take) them on holiday with us. In fact one prospective aupair even asked when we took our annual holiday because she knew she would have a break then.

If the aupair is happy to come with you, then great. But if you are asking her to come and do duties, I would have thought you have to pay her more because you are taking her out of her usual environment (even if she were not from UK, she has her own friends here) and she cannot move around easily on her own whilst on holiday with you, even if she did not do duties.

The analogy is if you ask an hourly paid professional to travel overseas on your project, you would typically have to pay them more for the inconvenience of the overnight stay.

I have taken my AP on holidays and I paid as normal, there were no duties as such it was more an extra pair of hands. e.g I got more time on a sun lounger while she played with the DCs in the pool, at the same time if she wanted to go off to the spa or not go out with us in the evening that was fine. Other times we have been away I have given lots of notice and once she took the opportunity to go back home for the week.

Thanks for the feedback - will try and answer everyone!
@mumsareglam thanks for your experience
@blueshoes hadn't considered it from a purely professional perspective, as was thinking that the benefit of an overseas holiday would be the draw for her
@iluvkids - purely a terminology thing, she's a trainee nanny working for an au pair salary. We found her through au pair world, as she was looking for some experience to back-up her cache 2&3 quals - hence why I tend to use the term
@SoldeInvierno - thanks for giving the 'au pair' perspective. Honestly, I don't think I'll need her on holiday, as the hotel has a kids club and we do want to spend time with our two boys as well, so she definitely wouldn't be on 'day and night'
If she wanted to stay in the house, she'd be more than welcome to do so, and then we would of course make sure there was food in the house.
And I will definitely be asking her what she'd prefer, was just trying to figure out what options other people offer, so that I can feel we're having a 'fair and informed' discussion :)
@ifelephantsworetrousers - thanks, I think a combination of 1&2 might work well, and I certainly wouldn't expect her to work all the mornings - that would be grossly unfair - I think I meant to write 'some mornings'

Think I have a good idea of what to chat to her about, and will see what she'd like to do!

@iluvkids - I said English because she was born in England...I do usually use British and English pretty interchangeably, is that incorrect?

Wasn't trying to be derogatory, hope it didn't come across that way :)