Sanity check: au pairs in the home counties

[legalalien]

In short: my au pair's friend is working as an au pair in another part of the country. There are two primary school aged children. She is working 7-7 sole charge during weekdays in the holidays, and frequently the parents don't get home until 9 without notice ( so she's not sharing mealtimes with the adults). She is paid £90pw. And does babysitting once a week.

She is expected to do all the cleaning including all bedrooms and bathrooms.

Our set up is more like 20 hours a week plus two nights babysitting, childcare only and chipping in with stuff like tidying, dishwasher and making lunch... For £80. Am in London.

What is normal? Is there such a thing?

Surrey in particular has a culture of really bleeding au pairs dry IMO, they do WAY more than would be accepted elsewhere, I've even heard of people sending au pairs to clean their friends houses if they have run out of things for them to do in their own houses, and its not "light" housework either! I guess some rich people don't get/stay rich for no reason eh! Seems to be the bigger the house the worse the terms!

That's rubbish.

Ours in Kent does around 5 hours per day, often a bit less. Some sole charge. No cleaning as we have a cleaner, although she will iron. Babysitting 3x pw. Paid £80.She has quite a lot of holiday too, aiming for 5 wks per year.

Its awful to send them out to do cleaning in your friends house for no extra money

Au pairs are vulnerable to exploitation in any part of the country. 25-30 hours plus two evenings babysitting for £70-£80, plus some means of getting around (bus pass/travelcard if well connected, or use of car if required for duties too) is pretty much the norm, although it is not unusual for extra hours to be worked in the holidays: ours work 8-7 in the holidays for an extra £35pd: this takes them over the NI threshold of course so there are PAYE deductions.

There are probably more exploited au pairs in London and the home counties because there are more au pairs there.

Au Pairs like all workers in the UK are entitled to at least 5.6 weeks holiday per year so if they normally work Mon-Fri except bank holidays that means at least 4 weeks.

true, but also it is acceptable in the home counties and exploitation is more open there IMO

I'm sure it goes on behind closed doors where I live now, but noone would openly pass their au pair around their friends to get their moneys worth or suggest their kids get looked after in a friend's house with no extra money to the au pair around here IYKWIM!

Are APs supposed to share mealtimes with the adults? Just curious?

theres a difference between an area having a CULTURE of it (which there definitely is in Surrey), and individuals doing it in isolation (which happens everywhere)

Mumsareglam - not exactly supposed to, but the idea is that they are treated more like a family member than an employee (I thought). Ours does, but then she loves cooking, is interested in trying typical English meals and is happy to cook for all of us a couple of times a week. And she's good company. :)

they would NEVER be considered part of the family in the parts of Surrey I lived in!

I personally would have one if I had room and couldn't help but feel a bit maternal towards them - imagining my own children doing that abroad for a bit in a few years so I would want them to be have a good experience. I'ld be much less demanding than I would of a "real" hourly rate cleaner for example - and be a bit flexible in lettding them do what they were better at/preferred (cooking Vs ironing..)

(if household chores were agreed to start with that is!, would depend on the amt of childcare I expect, if it wasn't much during term time for eg)

I am moving to Surrey in a while and will have to get an au pair for my DCs (who will be 11 and 9). I work full time and will leave the house at 8am and get back about 6.30 most days. I had been worrying about what I would do with the DCs on some school holiday weeks when they are not at their dad's as had assumed au pair could only do 4-5 hours a day. From this thread it seems it would be ok to ask him/her to do all day in school hols (for extra pay of course). Is that right? Or isn't considered a bit off? Have never had an au pair before so not a clue what is normal!

mine did a max of 5 hours a day with one or 2 evening babysits a month for £70 (3 school aged children)

Many au pairs share mealtimes with the children as cooking for them is often part of their duties.

LackingNameChangeInspiration what parts of Surrey are you thinking of, or do you think that your experience is more related to a particular social group than a geographical location?

Peppin - Given their age I'd say you'd be ok with an au pair, booking them in to part day holiday activity 1-2 days per week ( with au pair doing shuttling) and some play dates in each direction - less work for the au pair. It's when cleaning and unexpected late nights start that it all goes haywire. Depending on the au pair you'll probably need to micro manage the play dates.

Disclaimer: am in London not Surrey... Incidentally the op did not involve Surrey for the record

Thanks legalalien. What do you mean by "micromanage the play dates"? Do you mean au pairs are rubbish at actually taking the children to friends' houses?

In the school holidays I try to keep it to an average of 3 days of kids camps and 2 days with sole charge between 7 and 6. I think sole charge for the whole week can be too much for AP and kids. I am lucky I can work from home so I also have unplanned days during the holidays which I cover as well.

It's absolutely normal Peppin. During term time they generally have language courses during some daytimes, but in the holidays they are grateful for the extra money!

Just to clear up some common misconceptions, the term "au pair" doesn't carry any significance in the UK (except for Bulgarian or Romanian nationals), there are no restrictions on hours of work other than those that apply to all workers under the Working Time Regulations*, or on their duties. If you pay them £107 or more in any week (£464 if paid monthly), you must register for PAYE and they must apply for an NI number.

• Breaks of 12 hours between shifts, unbroken time off of at least 24 hours each week or 48 hours each fortnight, 5.6 weeks paid holiday per year.

Thanks MrAnchovy. So, when I get an au pair, even it it seems likely that for the foreseeable future his/her pay will be less than £107 a week, should I register for PAYE and NI to be ready for in case I need to pay more than £107 a week at some point?

There wouldn't be much point - registration as an employer is effectively instant. What does take time and effort is for the employee to register for an NI number - and they usually won't let them do this unless they are going to have earnings over the threshold! But this doesn't stop you paying them, they just won't get credit for the deductions unless they get a number by the end of the tax year.

By micromanage I mean get involved in arranging them - in my experience a lot of things are arranged by mums chatting to each other when dropping off and picking up and if an au pair is a bit shy or doesn't speak English that well they may not "be in the loop" so to speak.

Right, got you. Thanks. I suffer from that a bit already (my mum takes them to school at the moment) but when we move I will drop off so might have more social interaction. I hope so anyway as we are moving somewhere where I don't know anyone.

Handing in dissertation tomorrow, so time to brush off the cv....