parents put child elsewhere because I'm sick although I was open.

[jens42]

I had a miscarriage last Sunday. I told all my parents and worked it out fine, I work with am assistant anyway so I took on another for 2 weeks to help me. one me my parents said didn't think I should be working and they are booking him into nursery for the first week. I agree in the end because he is hard work, they said can do next week too in if nursery and I said no I would be fine, I reminded then I am fine this week on its your choice to take him elsewhere. I have all other kids here. anyway I called then before just could check this week and they said then had booked and paid for nursery, I didn't let then know in time I was up and running so my fault me they will not be paying for 2 weeks now. the parents are currently going through a break up and blaming each other as well as me. I think I am within my right to charge the first week but I am not going to but I think only fair I charge second week. even more annoyed because I have held it together since miscarriage and this stupid argument caused me to break down and cry eyes out and let it all get too much. anyway any advice?

They are being unreasonable and should pay you. Sorry for your loss.

Sorry for your loss.

They are being totally unreasonable. If you are open then they pay, just letting them pay for 1 week is very reasonable of you. Do they expect BT to refund 2 weeks line rental when they are on holiday because they are choosing not to use their service for 2 weeks???

Their breakup is not your concern, outside of how it affects their child, and they need to learn to parent together and not blame you for their mistakes (sorry if that sounds harsh).

They should pay you, but if he is hard work (and with a tricky breakup might get worse), and you think that you would be able to fill his place I would be tempted to enquire whether they still need his place, if so they need to pay for it, if not then you will find someone else. By not paying they are presumably breaking their contract if you say that they need to pay you when open regardless of if they use your services.

Sorry for your loss, PLEASE TAKE IT EASY.

What does your contract state about non attendance? whtever its state then you are in your rights to do what it states.

I am sorry for your loss, and sorry that you are having to deal with unreasonable folk at this point. You told them you were available for work - presumably under your contract they have to pay if they choose not to use you even if you are available. You had made provision by taking on an assistant and were ready to take their child. Ergo, they pay.

I'm sorry for your loss, OP.

As a parent with a minded child, I would have been concerned about leaving her with you the first week, and a new assistant that no-one knows wouldn't necessarily done much to alleviate that feeling.

It's a nightmare when a Childminder is sick - and I appreciate immensely how much effort you put into not letting people down when you would, quite rightly, have been entitled to just shut down for a few days - but I would have been worried about the standard of care.

If you are sure that that standard of care did not slip during those weeks - and I'm not saying it did! - then charge them for both weeks, as per your contract, because it was only their choice to go elsewhere, as it would have been mine.

I would have sought other arrangements, but I would have appreciated that that was my nerves (and my need not to be an arse with someone who's grieving!) and would have paid you anyway.

Certainly, by week two, they're out of line, and should pay, or surrender the place.

thanks to everyone for the replies and especially ginnybag it was good to have the parents point of view, if I'm honest the care wasn't the same the first week. children were safe and looked after but we normally a lot of activities/outings and last week we stayed home and really didn't do much. this week I can honestly say its business as usual, we had a full day out today museum and picnic in the park. anyway I told then they would have to pay for this week if they send him or not, they are sending him but think I am unreasonable so are cancelling contact. its the best outcome, financially not great but I don't do this to get rich. I have 7 children on my books and all other parents been fantastic. 2 other parents chose not to send their children first week and I have not charged them. one insisted on paying! I think its good riddence in the end.

thanks to everyone for the replies and especially ginnybag it was good to have the parents point of view. If I'm honest the care wasn't the same the first week. children were safe and looked after but we normally a lot of activities/outings and last week we stayed home and really didn't do much. this week I can honestly say its business as usual, we had a full day out today, museum and picnic in the park, have busy and stimulating days planned all week. Anyway I told then they would have to pay for this week whether they send him or not,we didn't even mention paying for last week. They are sending him but they think I am unreasonable so are cancelling contact and giving months notice. It really is the best outcome, financially not great but I don't do this to get rich. I have 7 children on my books and all other parents been fantastic. 2 other parents chose not to send their children first week and I have not charged them. one insisted on paying anyway! I think its good riddence in the end.

Very sorry to hear of your miscarriage.

I strongly suspect they were going to cancel the contract anyway, from what you say. I'm also a bit sceptical about a nursery that was able to take their kids at such short notice for two weeks: most decent ones have a waiting list. That deliberate misunderstanding sounds a bit contrived to me.

For what it's worth, after my last miscarriage, I told my parents and they couldn't have been more understanding. I was urged to take things easily and they were all checking I was OK for ages after. That's what kind, thoughtful people do.

thank you for kind thoughts too. I think you are right, I think she doesn't like me/my setting and husband does I think this was an excuse for her to get her own way and get him in nursery. its a shame because the little boy has settled really well with me and the other kids.and he is quite shy, I don't think he'll cope well in a busy nursery. she hasn't been able to make eye contact with me at drop off! other parents have been lovely, have even had flowers off some x

I am really sorry to hear of your loss, and hope you are taking good care of yourself. I think sometimes when things get a bit difficult, those around you can show their true worth, and when you are feeling better in yourself you will feel you are better off without people who treat you badly in a crisis.

very true!