Nanny, Au Pair, Mothers Help. What do I need?

[IcanandIwill]

I'm a recent widow with 3 DC. Dd's are 5 and 2, DS is 3 months. I definitely need some help but am not sure who the job would suit.

Evenings are when I need most help. DDs understandably need extra cuddles and attention but bathtime, bedtime and stories are difficult to manage with newborn DS. Dd2 doesn't settle well (again understandably) and needs lots of my time to settle her. Help of a morning would also be great.

I'm currently on maternity leave and undecided about returning to work. I think this decision hinges on me having the right support in place.

At the moment my priority is my children and giving them as much of my time as possible. I currently have a cleaner but wondered if it was realistic to incorporate this into the role?

Also much of the time I will be at home. I need someone to support me but would like to be able to leave this person in sole charge of one or all of them when needed.

I don't have a huge house but do have a small spare room. Would live in / live out suit us more? I think live out would suit me more but am open to ideas.

Any suggestions or advice would be really appreciated.

Firstly, sorry for your loss- I didn't want to post without saying that first.

If you are planning to leave all 3 alone with someone I think an aupair would be out, as although there are no set rules it's not really on leave under 2s with one.

What's your budget, and what hours do you need? Remember if you plan to employ someone and pay over the threshold for NI and tax you'll have to factor that in.

It also depends on your location, if you live in the middle of a big city you may find exactly who you need live-out but pay a lot more, if you live in the middle of no-where you may struggle.

My first thought here would be to try and find a mother's help, someone with a bit of childcare experience wanting to work up to be a nanny, or maybe someone older who has raised their own children.

That's just some thoughts, I'm sure someone more knowledgeable will be along to help more!

I am very sorry for your loss

I think a nanny would be your best bet - someone experienced who can do cooling, cleaning etc as part of her role

Thanks for your thoughts. We're in a small town not a big city I'm afraid. As for budget I'm still considering this as it hinges on a couple of different things. I suppose part of my decision depends on what I'll get for the money. There are minimal occasions when they would have all three. All will attend school, preschool and nursery on various days as of September. But I would like to be able to feel secure leaving them on the odd occasion.

I went on childcare.co.uk and looked through nursery nurses, I am a childminder I wanted am assistant but only certain days and I also wanted help with my own children, I just interviewed until I found someone it suits, she part time nannies when she is not with me and it all works great. she is fully qualified and I got her crb and ofsted approved.

IcanandIwill - I've sent you a message.

Maybe a nanny/ housekeeper then.

You say as from September all will be in nursery/ school etc for some time. So maybe someone who could come in at 8 and help with breakfast/ getting ready and help drop at various places. Then on days when baby is around can help if needed and on days when in other childcare or with you they could do housekeeping part.
Most housekeepers don't actually do deep clean so best to keep cleaner for that but housekeeper will help with washing/ ironing/ beds/ cooking.
Then they can help in afternoon until say 6/7 pm

Or same position but less hours would be if nanny/ housekeeper came in at say lunchtime and helped cook for evening/ sort washing etc out, then from 2.30/3 help with school/ nursery pickups and then afternoon and evenings. So more like 12pm-8pm. So could help with bedtimes, maybe something like bathing baby whilst you read/ settle elder children

Thanks for the thoughts. It's really helping me to figure out what I want / would like / need. Bedtime help is a definite need, mornings are a want and the housekeeping part is a would like. I suppose this prioritises things when I'm looking for the right person.