What to do?

[sparkle345]

I've been trying to get pregnant since nov last, my job I had then didn't work out so I left. Starting new job soon been temping in between then and now.
Thing is my new boss keeps asking me if I'm going to start then leave and that her nannies have not lasted long and she really wants a permanent nanny for her DG's. Should I tell her I'm trying to get PG as this could take a while or should I leave it till I actually am??? Really like her and her DGs.

I would presume that your new boss will know that there is a possibility that you may become pregnant at some point, given your age. I wouldn't mention it until you are actually pregnant.

If your boss asks specifically about if you plan to have your own children in the future, then at that point you can say that you are TTC.

If your previous job history has been mostly short term jobs, then your boss may well be worried that this too will turn out to be short term. However your intention is to stay in the job for many years I would expect - during which time you may or may not give birth to your own child.

Sure employers will want an employee to stay in a job long term but the future can not be predicted. At this moment in time you do not intend to leave the job.

I would just say that whilst having children may feature in future plans (so you can't commit for the next 5 + years) you too are looking for a more permanent longer term role. I definitely wouldn't divulge that you're TTC as frankly it's none if her business and you don't know how long it will take.

I believe it is illegal to ask an employee about their plans for children. Certainly when recruiting (in education) we are not allowed to do this, nor ask marital status or their age. I had a phase where I thought I might not be able to have children (happily now 33 weeks pg) and it would have been particularly galling to lose out in the jobs market as well!

Her concern is probably more from
Your cv which shows short term
Jobs.

You are under no obligation to tell (and indeed she shouldn't ask) so I would keep quiet.

Being totally honest (and this is not ideal) I wouldn't expect the Mb to be that happy if you do become pregnant given she is probably concerned about continuity of care for her dg.

Yes people will post saying that is discrimatory, sexist etc which it is but it is also an honest concern of a mum not wanting to lose another nanny (albeit for nice reasons).

But she has asked you outright - seems like she just wants some consistency for her DC. It's a tricky one and I know you don't know how long it will take, though.

It's illegal to ask and you don't have to be anymore open or forthcoming about your plans to TTC than she does. She might have another and not keep you on when she's on ML... keep it to yourself, it might take you a while to conceive and you need to work.

Do you know why her nannies haven't stayed??

Pressurising you in this way is unacceptable - corporate and public sector employers stopped behaving like this 20 years ago.

There's not a lot you can do about it, but you certainly should not discuss your personal plans with her.

"it is also an honest concern of a mum not wanting to lose another nanny (albeit for nice reasons)."

Having the concern is perfectly understandable, voicing it is not acceptable.

makes me wonder why her nannies havnt lasted long ...................

but no dont tell her, you may get pregnant next month, it may take months, it may never happen, you just dont know