Flexible childcare - impossible dream?

[MummytoMog]

I've managed to lose my original log on details (which serves me right for lurking and never posting) but I've been following these boards pretty much since I had DD in 2009, and nobody seems to have the sort of arrangement that would suit us. Essentially I work full time and OH is a self-employed musician. We have DD who is nearly 3 and DS who is 18 months.

Since DD was 9 months we've had an arrangement with a local childminder and her assistant where if they are free, they will take DD and we pay for the time we use. Brilliant. Except that our original CM has had a baby and now only works Mon-Thurs and on Fridays they generally can't have them, they no longer give us a discount for having full weeks (used to get five days for the price of four), we now pay for full days even if we only use part and DD will be going to nursery in September and they can't pick up from her nursery. So either way, we need to find a new childminder.

I've added up how much we spend (£100 a day for both kids) in a month, and generally it can be anywhere between £300 and £2000 depending on how much work OH has, and there's the rub. If OH isn't working, we can't afford to pay for childcare. I get £130 childcare vouchers a month, but no tax credits. Not to mention if OH is away (happens a lot) and the kids are at the CM then I don't get to work until 9.30 and have to leave at 4.45 to collect them. Not ideal.

I'm starting to wonder if we would be better off getting an au pair and paying them more for those weeks when we needed full time care? Both kids are pretty unbreakable and couldn't give two hoots where they were or who they were with (OH regularly dumps them with unemployed actresses for the day), so I'd have no qualms about a relatively sensible person with a bit of experience looking after them. Most of the time it would only be for an hour or so a day, and maybe one full day a week and I wouldn't want anyone to do cleaning or housework. We have two spare rooms in the loft conversion, so would happily turn one of them into a room for an au pair (once I evict my sister from it) but we only have one bathroom. Would that work? It's what's put me off until now, well that and having someone live with us. We're in Woodford, so not in the centre of London either :/ Would anyone want to come and be our au pair?

We're hoping to extend and put a guest room with an ensuite off the living room next year, and I'd sort of pencilled in Au Pair for when that's done in a year or two, but childcare is becoming a constant nightmarish struggle :(

An Au Pair sounds a good idea. I am sure you would get one, or a live in nanny. I was a nanny in Loughton, there were a lot of them about.

We were in a similar position, right down to the self-employed musician. Now we work it that I have gone part-time, and so has DP. The days he is at home are for looking after DD, although he fits in work if he can. obv we have less income, but less child care costs too. This means he can work weekends.

Sometimes I think what we all need is a local granny who could use a bit of extra cash and will work whenever needed but who otherwise have a life.
I may set up a granny nanny agency...

It sounds like an au pair would be ideal tbh. How much notice do you get of when your OH will be working? Remember that an au pair will still want to make plans/see friends/see the UK/go to language school so won't want to be sitting at home just in case you need someone. If you can give a few weeks notice though then I think it'd work well.

We generally know ages in advance - OH and I co-ordinate our diaries at the beginning of each month for evenings and days, but for going away we always know a long time in advance. I'm generally home in the evening, which is mostly when OH works, but he generally needs a couple of hours a day to catch up on invoicing and programming and if gigs are out of town, he often has to leave mid-afternoon to get there. It's the touring that really kill us though - pays well, but after you pay out £500 a week to the childminder (which is cheap for this area) it's not so great money. And I am a frazzled wreck from having to haul the kids out of bed early (as they generally sleep until 8.30) and get them to our stern and disapproving CM, then get to work, fit eight hours work into seven, then get back to pick them up, play for an hour, feed, bath, bed, sleep, then repeat.

Most of the time I'd be very happy for an au pair to have a riotous social life, I was a bit worried about how much input from us they'd need... How easy is it for them to make friends, do they generally come with friends? Or can they pick them up at language school?

I did look at going part time, but we couldn't afford it really. It would also limit my career options atm.

I'd love a granny nanny. My MiL has the kids for a week every couple of months, which is lovely, but they're too far away for odd days, and my mum still works full time.

Have you tried ad hoc nanny agencies like likeminders.co.uk? think they cover most of greater London and you can book them at random times, short notice. found them a godsend for my two. haven't got shares in them, honest, just found myself in a pickle with two kids and freelance career. can't face having someone live with us either, so au pair was ruled out, though you might prefer that option if you need help with housework etc.

sorry, rubbish at links www.likeminders.co.uk

We tried using a couple, but found they never had anyone free in our area. I'll definitely give that website a go though, as CM is on holiday for the whole of August and OH is bogging off to the Edinburgh festival for the next four weeks. And I just started a new job. Joy.

If they actually work, that would be brilliant!

Give 'em a bell and explain what you need. They're usually very helpful. Good luck with the mad month ahead!

Some nurserys provide ad-hoc PAYG care, though possibly not that many. If hours of care you need fit into a nursery day it may be an option and useful as a backup if you did get an au-pair/live-in nanny.

Nursery school teachers are often available during school holidays for this sort of work through babysitting/temp nanny agencies. Harder during term time though, au pair could work well.

Wow, August sounds hectic and stressful.

Shame I'm too far away as I cm, and am happy to do ad-hoc hours for any of my parents. I have my regular booked in hours from people but as long as I have the spaces then am happy to take on other children. Some people seem to make things so incredibly hard.

Are u expecting an au pair to have sole charge of the children for a length of time (ie your working & oh is touring) as au pairs are generally not qualified although do have a few child care skills.

If I was you id contact your local college and speak to the child are department - they maybe be able to provide students to help you

OH as a rule only tours for a night or two at most, so we might ask f

Sorry, phone, but we might need a couple of days a week once or twice a month with sole care. Longer than that and we try to send them to the in laws or I take holiday. August is just a pain because it's four weeks, so I end up with two I'm stuffed on. But as a rule, OH would be in the home office where he can keep an eye on things.

We've had no luck with local nurseries, and very little with CMs. Basically feel like I'm a massive imposition on our current one, even though it's practically unaffordable for us when we do use them.

Hi i am a childminder where abouts are u and any lucky with finding anyone

I would find a couple uni students who have experience of babysitting and like working with children and happy with ad-hoc care, they are available for many holiday periods and also during term time they have lots of free time.

I would use a couple so one can cover if another cant.

alternatively many teachers nanny in the holidays.

or a live in nanny maybe contracted for 50hrs a week plus one babysit a week - no min wage for live in but obv needs to be reasonable. The wage could be bottom end but with the perk of not always having to do 50hrs a week. (bottom end could be £300 gross a week).

MummytoMog - - i've sent you a message

Thanks for all the suggestions - we're trying someone from Likeminders this afternoon and I have nobbled my younger brother (on holiday from uni as he's MUCH younger) to do a week. The in laws have got them for a week and I might have negotiated a week off work, in which case the immediate crisis is averted.

Really hoping Likeminders works out, as it could be a lifesaver! Think that we might have to turf my sister out sooner rather than later so that we can pop an au pair in the attic. Or build that extension now...

Sitters is a babysitting agency that also does daytime childcare, I used them when I was returning to work and just doing the odd afternoon. They seem to have a lot of girls on their books in London, often childcare, nursing students etc. as well as qualified nannies. I'd give them a try. Once you've booked a few you can list which sitters are your preferred options and they always try them first.

Good luck - I'm a freelancer with unpredictable weeks and I know how hard it is. X

We're in Woodford, so bit too far for you :(

The lady who came was very lovely, but she can't do Wednesday and we don't really want to have someone come in for an entire day on their own with the kids who hasn't spent a bit of time with them before. Imogen takes a bit of getting used to (teensy tiny bit ASD) and it's ideal if my OH can be around for an hour or so at first just to explain that Imogen doesn't talk, doesn't want you to read her book with her, doesn't respond to her name, list her key vocabulary etc. Still, we shall persevere.

I'll have a look at Sitters now, thank you!!!

Just logged onto this thread and wondered if I could chip in and ask for some advice (I'm new to blogging on mumsnet!). We are desperate for the Holy Grail of flexible childcare. Quick over view - we live in Chester, OH is a shift working nurse in a hospital, shifts are all over the place (and will not be fixed - we've tried every angle on that one). I'm a district nurse with part time fixed days but have been offered a really good opportunity that will further career and prospects etc but it is full time from september for 12 months (full time MSc Specialist Practitioner Qualification). We have DD 7yrs old, DS 4yrs old and DD 18 months old. Childcare has always been tough and expensive but we've made do as everyone does. Come sep - we will not be able to afford full time childcare, after school clubs etc and would seem ridiculous to pay for it on the days that OH is not on shift plus I don't want my kids full time in the Workhouse!
Guilt is very heavy about this opportunity for me but after 12 months I'd get paid more and would go straight back to part time and opportunity is a one time funded offer.
Would a Nanny be a flexible option? I have no experience of them whatsoever. Do you have to work out their tax etc? ALso a lot of trust to put into one individual in your home (nursery and childminders always have other folk periferally watching them etc). Are Nanny's a cheaper option? Appears that many of you are pro Nanny's. Sorry to gatecrash this thread but really appreciate any advice.

I took a nanny on from childcare.co .uk as a childminder assistant, she has been brilliant and flexible, minds my own child too, even talked about taking her on holiday.

MummyToMog, I was about to message you, but I think you commented on my posting a few days ago :(

Just to say that I love the idea of a GrannyNanny agency - I thought about the same thing when I just wanted someone warm and caring to come and help play with my LOs a few times a week whilst I was on maternity and maybe do some cooking and tidying as well.
Any entrepreneurs out there??
But to go back to the OP - yes, flexible childcare IS an impossible dream. Sorry. Obviously, you can arrange to have someone available whenever you need them, but they have to be paid for this, which is not the kind of flexibility you're talking about.