please help me to get a grip!

[needtogetalife]

Just need to rant really

I have recently had a complaint/ complaints made against me by an ex parent (became ex during the whole drama!) Anyway we have a mutual friend (who is also a parent) the ex parent and friend never saw each other really only for organised Christmas drinks or if I arranged meeting up. Ex parent always cancelled.

Now this is where I have become a bit of a teenager and need perspective, since the complaint the ex parent has been contacting friend to meet up, nights out etc and friend is going. She says she doesnt think ex parent wanted to cause any trouble by reporting me! She cant see that as the complaints where paperwork its not as thought there were concerns for the children she was literally trying to cause trouble for me and my buisness.

Friend is either not really friend or really really guilable! But this is actually eating away at me. If someone tried to damage a friend of mine that that I would see it as a warning of their character not start going out more with them. As I said I have become very teenage about this!

I know ex parent hasnt done anything to friend and its friends choice who she spends time with but I am struggling with all this
Edit/Delete Message

I do get what you mean. The ex parent has tried to cause you trouble and you feel that your friend is being disloyal by being increasingly pally with her and not understanding that you find this hurtful. Your friend may not appreciate how significant a complaint is, particularly if the ex parent has really played it down. If she does understand all that, then she is not being sensitive to your feelings and probably isn't that good a friend. The only way to tell for sure is to tell her how you feel and why, and see how she reacts. I think it's okay for what I would call not-close-friends to take the line of not taking sides etc where there are disagreements, but a close friend would back you up and demonstrate by her actions that she is loyal.

I get what you mean. Did you handle the complaint in professional manner? Is everything resolved and the case is closed or still ongoing?
I think you either accept your friend had nothing to do with the other parent's complaint, she can socialise with whoever she wants. You can stay friends and move on. We are grown ups ... no need to behave like in school playground.
But if it really bugs you that much that your friend is friends with the ex parent then avoid her.

I am sorry it's between the two of you why should the other friend get involved.

I don't think you should expect a friend to choose. Childminding is so so hard as things can become personal, but business is separate