Child minders - are these reasonable requests or not?

[zambooloo]

Hi, my dd has always been a poor sleeper. She is still swaddled at 6.5months, naps are ok but she wakes quite frequently and requires rocking back to sleep. She also has to be rocked in a dark room with white noise on to get her to sleep!

Also she will only take her milk in a dark room, she is just not interested enough to have it if tv is on or she can see round the room etc. She will literally go 6+ hours without having more than about an oz unless I feed her in the dark. She is also blw as she won't take anything off a spoon!! She isn't really keen on food at all so hardly eats a thing anyway!

Do you think a child minder would be ok with all these needs? I know I'm paying her but somehow I feel bad that dd will require all this!!

I think you will find it will depend on the childminder and what other commitments they have if they have 2 just over ones ie a 2 x 13/14/15 mths olds then this may be more difficult to do whereas if they have a couple of nearly 4yr olds then it may easier but again that depends on the children.

I do feel you need to consider a nanny if you want something so regemented for your child.

Not a CM but used a few C<
My CM was perfectly happy with BLW

re milk and sleep - depends on what she needs to do for other minedees - if she is out and about a lot it might be tricky to do the dark thing - I personally found that was a phase as welll
re sleep children can be quite different from CM than parents -and they have a lot of tricks too - so I would personally just let them try things and see how it goes

You need to speak to childminders individually I think. Personally I would struggle with a baby with those needs as the baby would be with 2 lively toddlers who could not be left alone for the time it took to get the baby to take her milk and go to sleep.

BLW would not be an issue for me at all - it is just the amount of 1-1 quiet time which I would find difficult to provide.

I would make sure you ask specific questions about how they would deal with it alongside their other children, as you don't want to settle her in with someone only to find that this causes an issue further down the line.

I think there are plenty of childminders who would be happy to meet your daughters needs.

However, having said that, you might find (as lots of parents do) that their child will do things for the minder that they wont do at home and readily adapt their routine to fit the one on offer.

Most babies (yes I am generalising here) do things because we as parents enable them to. And thats totally fine. But children and babies are far more adaptable than parents think and often suprise the parent when they seemingly behave out of character somewhere else.

Tbh she might well sleep in a buggy in broad daylight and eat anything at the cms- so don't worry too much. Many chdn act quite differently with other carers.

any reason you want a CM rather than nursery? when my DD started her wonderful nursery aged 5.5 months the staff were really upset that she wouldn't be rocked to sleep etc etc as they were used to allowing really little babies to leep in their arms/sling/buggy and were shocked she just wanted to go in a cot and go to sleep. I think you may well find a baby room of a small famioly run nursery will be more flexible than a CM as a CM will have children of different ages/needs and won't be focussing entirely on tiny people wheras a baby room will have max 3 babies/staff member (at my daughter's nusrsery was more like 1:2 and when they have students there often 1:1 ratio)

sleepless not all childminders have conflict with different little ones.

I only ever have one child under 5 at my home so we get all day one to one. I would be totally happy to follow any specific requirements that the parent has for their baby and it would not be an issue. But babies change so rapidly those requirements would change frequently.

I have a child who only drinks milk in the dark at home, but drinks it happily in the playroom at my house. Like others have said, they are changing all the time and often do different things in different places with different people.

hi,i think you will struggle to find a childminder who is willing to do as you do tbh. i know i wouldn't be able to accomadate this. i have 2 x 16 mths and a 2.5 yr old plus older children in the holidays and this just wouldn't/couldn't work for me.
you would probably be better suited to an experienced nanny - or perhaps you could get someone in to help you with sleep/feeding routines before you go back to work?
you will probably find that your daughter will act quite differently with a childminder to how she does at home, most children fit in with the setting and parents are often surprised that a baby they have to rock to sleep/hold bottle/sing particular song in particular order to, goes happily to sleep without any of this at the childminders house

I'm a CM. I use my living room and my dining room which i have converted into a playroom/toyroom. I don't have any babies at present but if I did I could bring toys into living room to give a quiet room in the playroom for a cot, but I could not guarantee quiet time if I had other mindees. But I agree with what others are saying in that your child may behave differently with CM than at home. Im sure your CM will try her best.

It would work for me at home as I have a 19 month old who could sit in the other bedroom and play and I could see her from the dark room, but out and about it would be a real issue. I think the schedule of the other mindees would be a big consideration.

Would you be interested in the childminder trying to help your child make a few routine changes? Surely milk in the dark must be a nightmare for you? xx