childminders giving notice..

[MrsGrey]

Hi.
I have used a childminder for ds(5) for the past year for afterschool. This is the second childminder he has had within the year that has now given me notice that she will no longer care for my son. (the first one was no longer able to collect from the school as they changed their hours.) a good few months ago ds thought I was funny to moony on the school field which he was told off about. but now he has apparently exposed himself to another child (3). No one witnessed this but the other child told their grandparents who relayed info to child's parent. they complained to cm.. which is fair enough I wouldn't be happy either.. but it is a 3 yr olds word against a 5 yr old. the parent has threatened cm with getting social services and ofsted involved and as such the cm has give me notice. she then proceeded to tell me that she has another child starting in sept who has been abused and as she promised the other parent a safe environment and therefore cannot have my ds anymore. she has said that if I use another childminder she will tell them what he has done.

my questions are; what would social services and ofsted do about my son?
should she be telling me about the new girl and her history? do cm not have to keep confidential information to themselves?
cm suggested I asked the school if some one has flashed him and that's why he done it. if she has concerns of such behaviour should she not report it to someone? instead of just suggesting asking the school.

exdh has read that cm are meant to give us written reports whilst children are in their care. we've never had anything. I'm still in fact waiting for a contract from her and he has been there for 7months.

previously we've never had any problems with her, always been happy with her service and ds likes to go there. I'm quite sad he's got to be moved again. it's also the inconvenience of not having any cover for the summer holidays!!!

Yes she should report any concerns she has re your son to social services, not sure what action they would take.

Yes, she should have kept everything confidential. She also shouldn't discuss you with other childminders that is totally unprofessional and I would be reporting her I think.

If she has given you notice theres not much you can do but she doesn't sound too nice to be honest so think your son would be better somewhere else.

Also the progress reports you mention are for under 5's but a learning journal/progress reports should be done for him until 31st aug after his 5th birthday with activities etc he's done, if her setting is anything like mine by the time we get back from school and have tea they are shattered and just want to rest so may not do much.

First of all I'm sorry to hear that you have been given notice. I do not think your son's behaviour was anything outrageous. Yes it is unacceptable and you should have a word with him. But I feel it's a normal part of growing up...especially at his age. I feel that instead of giving notice the childminder should have handled it differently.
First of all ask her how that happened. The children should have been supervised and within sight or hearing at all times. If she allowed that to happen you should certainly know why and how.
Ofsted and social services will do absolutely nothing to you or your son. You do not have to worry there.
The childminder has no right to go round telling others what happened. Make sure you mention that to her. She also shouldn't have told you about the other child (if it's true). Your son is not an abuser he's only 5 for goodness sake.
Childminders should do reports (learning journals) for children up to the end of reception class. If your child is in year 1 she does not have to do anything. But to be honest for a child in full time education (reception class) I do very little myself as they do most of their learning at school ... I just tend to follow their interests and compliment whatever they are learning at school.
You should have received the contract BEFORE the childcare started.
I suggest you put these questions to your childminder in writing. She has a duty to respond in writing within 28 days and log the your concerns. If you're not happy you can also put your questions to Ofsted for them to investigate to see if she handled everything correctly.
Btw I was speaking from experience as a childminder.

thankyou for your replies. he's in yr 1 so I gather that's a no to reports then. that's fine.. weve been so used to nurserys that's childminders are a new thing.
I did wonder about them playing in the garden and she wasn't supervising them. ButI was so shocked at the time she gave me notice I didn't think to say it.
when they get back from school they all play out in the garden (apart from rain and when it's cold!) so don't do anything educational as such. he is much rather a play outside boy than sit and colour so that's why he's got on so well there too.
it's only now I have calmed down and not so upset I have questions about it all!
thankyou

I think this is all out of proportion. A three year old sees a five year old's bits and it's described as exposing himself? That seems bizarre to me. I look after several children in this age group and they are still at the innocent age where I struggle to get any of them to keep all their clothes on. Not one of them would be the slightest bit bothered about running around naked or about seeing any of the others run around naked, much less a momentary "flash". I have to wonder whether either the grandparents or the parents have some other axe to grind that they should apparently make so much of this.

That said, given that they have apparently made such a big issue of it, I can sort of understand the CM perhaps going into panic mode and thinking she must do something to head off the threat of social services or OFSTED getting on her case. I think it's unlikely they would actually do anything but it is all too easy for CMs to feel that SS/Ofsted wield extraordinary power and that it is not always used wisely. I wouldn't mind betting she is feeling very vulnerable herself, and that she may be able to see things more clearly once she has got over the shock. But she should not in the meantime be acting in an uncaring and unprofessional way towards your family. No of course she should not be discussing either your son or her other charges with other parents or CMs. I would remind her of that in your position. It would be nice to think you could both discuss the whole business in a calmer light and perhaps even arrive at the conclusion that your son does not need to move on.

yes ds prefers to not keep his clothes on! but he is also going through the toilet humor stage at the moment. this is his last week there and as yet I have no cover for him starting september..I have food a holiday club which a friend daughter actually runs.. so he is going there a couple of days a week in the holidays while we're all working.
I have asked to reduce my hours at work, which will be a bit of a struggle financially but doable. I just don't want to keep passing him between people. he needs a stable situation I think.
I did think they are blowing it out of proportion.. I almost was going to speak to orher parent about it at work ( she works for same place as me but different department - she doesn't know this though I don't think- unless cm has told her?) I think this is her first child so I remember well the pfb feelings if this is the case.
but talking to her may not Get me anywhere really..

found not food!! sorry...