Taking quality time out as a mother and cm (your comments please )

[MUM2BLESS]

Hi Everyone

I hope what I am writing will help someone as I just felt to share it.

This year has been very busy year for me personally and also with my cm business. Got four children of my own and was cm seven, but now six.

I have been doing quite a bit of reflecting on what has taken place this year, what needs improving, both within my own family and with the childminding too.

Today, after the school run I went to lay down (rest). This is not my usual practice, as usually I am childminding.

Near the ending of September I am will be concentrating on one School (school run).

Last year I did five day with a little one, but at the beginning of the year I cut this down to three days. I will still be doing the three days but will be flexible with which three days m-w or w-f. I will still be doing b f and after school mon to fri.

I will ensure I am firm, clear and consistent in dealing with challenging behaviour. Make parents aware of anything that is necessary, but not take on the parent?s responsibility. I realise that parents have different ways of dealing with their children that may differ from mine.

I will be taking some Quality time out for ME. Been going to bed late and getting up early. Still waiting for Ofsted to visit me, due last November.

Over the years I have been so engaged in my work that I have not taken time to enjoy other things.

What necessary changes are you considering or have already made after your experiences this year?

i cut down from 5 days to 4 days

My own children need me too

Paula... what are your kids ages and how many do you cm? Was it easy to do? I know for finanical reason many cm are working very long hours and are very tired? I am also aware that many working mums (outside the home) are tired too.

I work 55-60 hours a week and I'm knackered. Have got three weeks between mindees coming up and am so looking forward to being just mummy (NO PAPERWORK YAY!). But I have to work five days a week for the money.

my own are 13, 11 and 8 so are all at full time school.

My mindees are 6 yrs, 30 months, 22 months and 13 months

I only had the 22 month old on Fridays so it was easy to cut back. The parents were great about it and understood my reasonings behind the need to cut back.

With having Fridays free, I can get all of the paperwork and shopping out of the way so that weekends can be spent doing fun stuff with my 3. It's the way way to stay sane

only way

Thanks for that.

Anyone making any changes for September?

I have also cut down from 5 days to 4 days as of August - I cannot wait.

It does mean that I now have a variation Mon-Thurs to have 3 x19 month old children + my 2 year old son so I didn't have to let anyone down so I will still be tired. At least my son will have an extra day without having to share his mummy though :)

I only work 3 days per week, term time only. For me that is the perfect compromise, after being a SAHM for 7 years. I appreciate I am fortunate to be able to manage financially on this, but it works for me.

I think balancing family and work life is always difficult, but if you have a clear picture of how you want your week to be structured it is easier to only take on families who are a good fit. Again I seem to have been lucky in finding mainly teachers' children, who, for me, work brilliantly.

thank you to everyone.

Runoutofideas its great when you get things just how you like it. I was a stay at home mum for over ten years. During that time I had so much to do.

Started cm when my youngest started full time. Just seem to fit in very nicely.

My kids are 16 13 11 and 7.

There are so many lessons you learn during parenting and cm. To be honest I have over done it in the past. You get the money but you are so tired and on the go with long hours and lots of paper work. I am going to set my self some boundries to ensure that I do not go their again.

My opening hours are 07.30 to 18.00. I have done 7am and really did not like it at all.

For anyone starting out my advice would be think carefully how many kids can I really manage? is the hours right for my family? even though the money is important you have to consider other important things too.

Be clear about what you will do and what the parents will do. Say no to things you are not comfortable with. Do not tolerate constant naughty behaviour, ensure you get the suppport of the parents from the start. Ask for advance payment.

I am looking forward to taking time out for me. I think I will write down what I would like to do. May take some thought as its been such a long time since I have given thought to this.

What do you enjoy doing when you are not cm?

Me again. What boundries have you set yourself to ensure you do not over do things?

Well after 7 years of trying to maximise my income as we always 'need the money', I've decided that no matter what, I will NOT be working Fridays from September. When I had 1 mindee leave last September, I decided not to replace that Friday as it was already a quieter day (no before school children, just a couple of after school), I felt I'd been given a chance to change things at a time I felt things spiraling out of control (paperwork, coursework etc). From last Sept I had my ds2 and mindee in nursery for half days every day so had a couple of hours to catch up on a Friday afternoon. Then this changed to them going to nursery all day on the Friday so for a while I've just had 1 mindee arrive at 8am, not long later go on the school run and coming home with no children, having until 3pm to do work, have appointments etc. :) After talking about life being too short etc. with one mindee's mum, she decided from September that I will have her DD until 6pm most days (currently 4.30) Mon-Thurs and then she'll pick her up from school on Fridays so I'm not needed that day. I spoke to her about holiday care and managed to get Fridays off in the hols too. This left me with just 1 after school mindee until 4.30pm on a Friday and then 1 mindee in the school hols on a Friday. I gave notice for Fridays for both of these children, parents very understanding (love them!) and they are both staying with me for their other contracted days. So my one boundary is Fridays........I've had several enquiries for full time care from Sept but I've turned them away as I feel I NEED this Friday off!!!

I'm also trying to fill my vacancies with hours that work for me much better, thinking of my own children a lot more than I have in the past! I feel that your own children need you even more when they're older than when they're younger! On top of this I have lots of stuff going on with my just turned 4 year old ds2 (has been with with S&L therapist since was 2, this week following an appointment with Paediatrian, he's being referred to a psychiatrist or psychologist with regards to his behaviour). I'm hoping to get into an even better routine with my housework/paperwork/coursework on a Friday which should allow more quality time over the weekends. As ds2 is starting school in September and struggling with that, I feel this is even more important. Things like being able to pop to a cafe or soft play straight after school etc. And to have that 1 day a week in the school hols where they've got me all to themselves - can't wait :) Financially we really need to me work the Friday too but we've all agreed this 1 day a week is too important not to have.

Sorry that was very long! LOL

Oh and one more thing...........I'll not go back to working outside of the hours of 7.15am-6pm, having done 6.45am-6.30pm in the past, I refuse to do any more than I am now! Well, apart from the 1 current parent who's asked me to work until 7pm 1 day a week for 10 weeks and will pay double or triple. But this was agreed ONLY because it was temporary, that day of the week was fine for me (dh not here anyway) and my boys being fine with it!

Hi I gave up in June. Just had enough really and felt had neglected both my self and my own children. Wanted my house back, didn't want to live in a nursery anymore with child locks and stair gate and equipment.

Didn't want hoards of parents ( though all lovely) coming and going.

Didn't want to work a 50 hour week with paperwork on top.

Sick and tired of being soaked on school runs twice a day.

Starting college in sept to do level 3 and got a job as teaching assistant at local primary so being paid for placement( yippee)

Miss the mindees and quite honestly the money but overall best decision I ever made.

Good luck with your changes.

Looney,, keep to the Friday off, think as cms we find it hard to say no to the parents and the money but sometimes for your sanity you have to stand firm.

Most of my mindees i have had since babies and their now in key stage 2, i am hoping that when they leave school i can give up before and after school children as this would make my days shorter and easier. I love school hols when im not tied to school pickups

I work atm 60+ hrs a week i care for 17 children in a week all part time and different days (im good a jigsaws )

Ive been going this for 9yrs now and as my own children are leaving school and im not getting any younger i feel i can relax more so hopefully fingers crossed no school runs in 3yrs time

Thanks. Some of you are doing very early and long hours.Thanks for your advice everyone. Thebody best wishes for your new adventure

You need to get the balance right with cm and homelife.

I have learnt that you let the parents know what you can do rather than you trying to do what all the parents want you to do. This is important when dealing with quite a few families. Once you sa y yes you are expected to do what you said you will do, regardless of whats happening within your own house.

I cut down to a 4 day week early last year and it made a huge difference as I was able to do the paperwork on the Monday and have the weekend for my family (9yo & 12yo). I then dropped to a 3 day week in September (child left to go to school) and have found this even better though I work 7.30-6.30 those days. It also didn't have as much financial impact as I anticipated as it meant I was just below the tax bracket so my net income didn't go down much. I now have paperwork time & a little bit of me time, although less of that this year as I was able to use one of my free days to use my EYP status as part of a WSCC project supporting other settings. I am now off work completely till September following surgery and having LOTS of me time lol

My own boys are 11 and 13 and I childmind 7-9 children every day after school from age 5 to age 14.

I have a two year old from monday to thursdays which means I dont work during school hours on Fridays. When he starts school there will be no more daytime work for me!

mopbucket : I have been saying just 2 more years.... for the past 5 hahaha no-one ever believes me now when I say I am retiring ;)

Some times you do not realise how busy you are with the long hours and early starts etc.

I cannot always just be about the money. (important though). You have to have the right hours etc to fit into family life.

I have made more money than I am making now and felt so over whelmed by it all in the past.

what do you enjoy doing for yourself when not cm?

I would like to do more gardening in the future