Childminders - do they usually hold places...?

[sassylassie]

We went to see a childminder yesterday who told us she had a part-time space. After meeting her and seeing her interact with our DS we decided she was the one for us so I rang her to confirm the place, and she said that's great but can I get back to you on Monday? I was a bit surprised and confused, and asked her if it was because she was unsure and needed to think about it, and then she told us it was just that two couples had come to see her last week and she said they could have until this weekend to let her know, and that it was only fair to keep to her word. Is this common? Anyone else experienced this? It seemed odd she hadn't let us know that before. I had thought we got on well, but I did wonder if maybe she just didn't like us...!! :(

Anyway, it's made us a bit unsure and thinking we should probably continue looking around.

cover your basis but it sounds like shes just keeping her word

I now tell parents who visit that I can't hold a place while they consider, as that might mean turning away someone who comes along later and needs the place urgently. If they take time to ponder, they take a chance the place will be taken. It is very difficult - I have had parents visit, disappear for weeks and then come back wanting to take up a place. It is an important decision and I can see why some parents do take a while to decide.

I think it's only fair she keeps her word - how would you feel of you were one of those families and she took someone else on before the agreed weekend call back time?

Choosing a CM is a 2 way street - not only are you looking for the right CM, CMs are looking for the right family. It could still be you that's the right fit.

I?m afraid I don?t hold places especially after just one visit, I like to make sure the parents are really sure because I will expect a retainer if they don?t need the place straight away. I often tell parents if there has been interest in the place but also sometimes I don?t because it can put undue pressure on parents to make a rushed decision, or equally they may feel I?m pressuring them by mentioning other parents are interested.
I offer places not on a first come (visit) first serve basis, I have to take a number of things into consideration such as the other children already here & my preferred working hours- I prefer shorter hours. So no I don?t find it odd at all, just very sensible of the childminder to take time weighing up what is right for her setting, current children and her home.

I also won't hold a place after one visit, as I usually have a waiting list, but I will always be completely upfront in telling anyone who wants to visit whether anyone else is considering the place. I try to keep anyone involved up to speed - if I'd been her I'd have mentioned during the visit that two other families were interested in the place and that they would have priority as they'd been there first.

Thanks all. Yes, I do totally understand that if she's made that promise it's only fair she should abide by it. I think it was just the fact that she didn't mention to us when we went to see her that she was holding the place that bothered me - she gave the impression that it was available. Maybe she wasn't expecting us to get back to her so quickly after our visit so she thought she needn't mention it...?

Anyway, having slept on it I think we might as well just wait over the weekend now, but I do want to feel confident that I can trust my CM. If she's being honest about her reasons for delaying then that's fine, but if she is weighing our offer up for other reasons, I think I'd rather she was just upfront with us about that. If she doesn't feel 100% happy for whatever reason, but takes us because she hasn't had a better offer, maybe we're better off finding someone else...

Sorry just feeling a tad stressed about this whole childcare thing now and really need to get it sorted!!

when a c/m has a vacancy she will interview a few families and then get back to them with her decision about starting date, etc etc.
I am not sure what this c/m has done wrong?
saying you want the space over the phone has to be followed by another visit and talk about a contract and settling in

both parents and c/ms work together in this process..yes it is lengthy but should not be stressing...after all you are choosing to work in partnership with a c/m who is going to look after your child...

Agree with others and certainly wouldn't worry about any issue of trust because of this. I can understand it's hard for you this finding childcare but it is also hard for CMs filling their vacancy if there is more than 1 person wanting to book the slot. Like someone said about preferring shorter hours, if I had 2 families I liked equally and felt fit and one was until 6pm with an evening meal and one was until 5pm, I'd probably go with the 5pm finish After years of cooking for lots of children, I'm now wanting to do less of this if possible and if I can finish earlier some days, then my own children get the chance for some mummy time at the end of the day and it helps with things like homework. However if I ended up going with the 6pm and dinner person, it wouldn't make me start that relationship with them any differently. So if your CM is available for you then if you liked her before this, I would go ahead and not let the fact she waited put you off.

Good luck :)

I think that the only problem here is that the cm seemingly didn't explain to you at the meeting that she was holding a place possibly for someone else. Tbh if the other parents haven't got back yet then I would think they probably won't take it. Childminding is a very personal thing and gut instinct goes a long way - in all the years I have been doing it parents have signed on the spot or called me a few hours later to confirm or else I have never heard from them again.

I would give it till Monday and then be on the ball and phone to meet again and just explain that you would have understood more if she had said something earlier....life is a learning curve after all and the cm (if she is any good) will take on board the advice.

Good luck