Au pairs and 6 month hitch

[celtic66]

This seems to always happen around now....

After 6/7months I find it gets to the point when Au Pairs start to get disinterested, difficult or just not bothering doing the job. ( I know we can all get like this) they either do somthing about it or its time to move on.
But our usually happy, helpful and patient AP is not snapping out this and says she wants to stay another 6 months. I've ask her if everything is ok, she says yes, anthough she's not very open anyway !! She is still being bloody arwkward and argumentative, we have recently paid for her to go on a short visit home, since then its been down hill.

any suggestions please

You do not mention her nationality. I have had a number of aupairs over the years and find that if they dont shape up after a couple of "chats" then its best to move them on and replace them with one who is pleased to be here and eager to please. They join your family and it is supposed to be equally rewarding for both of you

Time for her to go, not worth the aggrivation. There are many Au Pairs for you to chose from as a replacement

I would go for 6 month stints with each AP - should avoid your trouble....only extend if they are exceptional.....

Agree with the others - if it's not working, it's time to let her go. I promise this situation will only get worse, not better.

You will probably find she is looking for another family (who pay more money) anyway, but won't tell you till this is all arranged, and then she buggers off anyway.

PS. I only know of one family that regularly keep APs for a year or more and that is because they pay DOUBLE what everyone else does - so the girls stay because they know they can't earn more elsewhere.

She's 27yr old Polish girl had has done the job the before. Yes you are spot on she has started to look for another family this week Its on my PC.

I would say she is the best AP we have had in terms of the children ( fantastic) and housework, but she not the easiest person to get on with is very quiet says all most nothing about her family and friends and has never made many AP friends in U.K. i think partly because she older and doesn't like nightlife!!

I suspect it is about money because she doesn't seem to spend anything - even resentful on paying for bus fare.

I was just hoping she would stay a bit longer until I get chance to look around, but this moody, difficult behaviour is really p* me off and when this happend unfortunatley you start to notice other things that annoy like lack of manners never says please or thank you.

If you really, really like her and want to keep her, offer her a pay rise.

But, be warned, it might not improve her attitude/moods and you will just find yourself shelling our more money for very little in return.

hi can i ask how old the children are?

I have talked recently about this, she seems to be guarded because of her experience with a German family they basically when on hoilday many times and left her with a baby and two older children and her hours often changed, babysat 4/5 nights, never had time to go to language school never reflected all this in her pay. She says she put up with it because she needed the money and good reference and didn't realise how easy it was to find another family.

To Some extent I understand, but I explained to her we also had a bad experience with the last AP. She knows all about because of a police visit last month regarding our last Au pair she didn't steal from us( didn't get the chance) but as it turns out, she stole from other families.

Although we had a bad experience I am not suspicious of current Au Pair, nor does she work long hours or left for long priods of time with the children...only the 5 and 7 year old after school two days a week 3 & 3 year old are in nursery when I work, and why start to be arkward now after 6 months?

I have asked her to be flexible during March and April ( always known about this) because Its very busy time, work wise and I help DH out. Au pair gets time in lieu and still does less than 25 hours a week. I don't really want to paying her more for the same hours, because she does well at the moment and never works 25hour wk. but instead I thought about offering more hours and increase her pay I could do with extra help with housework on a trial basis ??

Sounds like she is planning to dump your family before she has to be 'flexible' in March/April. I would start looking for a new AP quickly.

Her attitude is not explained by her experience of a previous family, afterall you are not treating her in the same way they did?

Did you speak to the German family before you took her on? Might be revealing to find out their version of events - I suspect it won't tally with what she has told you....................

Yes i did speak to her German family just to check she really did work for them before AP arrived although it was difficult to understand at times. She told me how they left Au pair in charge of the children whilst they went on hoilday it seems to add up.

I have strated looking around for someone else, and i can take up to 6 weeks. I think she is using her past experience as an excuse and is quite bitter about it

Bet she was just as miserable with the German family before they started taking liberties.

I'm afraid this sounds like jelousy - there are some APs who think that families live in the lap of luxury and have heaps of money and should pay them much, much more. Hence being annoyed at having to pay for a bus fare!

Hope you find a replacement soon

Good luck.