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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Child ignoring me and others

5 replies

CantAffordTheOlympics · 06/07/2012 18:32

I work with my DH as a childminding team. When we started up our first mindee very much wanted my DH all the time. We have worked with him since he was 14 months. He was ok with me looking after him but preferred my DH. We still have this child but now he is 3 and chooses to ignore me. There are times when my DH has to be in the kitchen preparing stuff etc and I'm in charge. When I ask him a question or start up conversation or tell him off for something he will just ignore me (I know he can hear me). This morning I was speaking to him and he totally blanked me. I went down to his level and he refused to look at me. So gently I put my hands on his head and he moved his eyes to and fro trying to avoid looking at me. I told him that it's not very nice to ignore people and it could be dangerous. He has to listen a bit more. This seemed to do the trick in part and I expect him to prefer my DH to me as he's more bonded with him than me.

The problem is though that it's not just me he's like it with. It's other people too. One being his dad! I worry that when he goes to school next year where he has to respond to teachers this will happen if it's not nipped in the bud now. What can we do to help him and his family?

OP posts:
MyBestfriendsWedding · 06/07/2012 18:45

I'm sure he will grow out of this soon enough. He is still very young. Children change so much when they attend school and our worries can be for nothing. Maybe to help your bond with him is to take him out and have one to one time, if possible. It will help I'm sure. I have a mindee who I'm in sole charge of and have a wonderful bond with him but when my DH is home from work (isn't a CM) this mindee will always go to him and dismiss me! He loves male company.

maggi · 06/07/2012 22:16

Whilst it might just be avoidance of situations he is uncomfortable with for example he could be too tired to interact which is then a common time for kids to avoid eye contact. It could be a sign of autism. Does he interact when he wants to or does he always avoid communication?

CantAffordTheOlympics · 07/07/2012 12:03

Yes I can understand it when he is tired, but it's at random times. He interact's when he wants to for example I start playing with something as I know that he would be interested in it. He comes over and then interacts with me. But that's on his terms. After a while he may say that it's boring or show's sign's of disinterest.

It seems to be some women that he's ignoring too. Mum took him into her new work and he was ignoring some of them there. He seems to be picky to whom he will interact with but totally blank others.

OP posts:
Memoo · 07/07/2012 12:08

Tbh he sounds like a normal 3 year old. They don't always know how to deal with situations that make them feel
Uncomfortable, like having to do something they don't want to do, so they kind of retreat into themselves a bit.

He will grow out of it but in the mean time ignore it.

thebody · 07/07/2012 16:20

Well I wouldn't allow him to ignore safety requests or be rude but think he may just be a bit shy or uncertain.

Not a woman thing as he does it to his own dad.

Sure he grow out of it though.

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