Advice on Nanny Reading on Duty

[fangmaboobies]

Yesterday I was working from home. Went downstairs to get tea and found DS (toddler) lying on the floor bored in one room and Nanny standing in the corner of the next room (i.e. poss trying to be out of sight?) reading a novel!

Very shocked, asked her to stop immediately and engage in an an activity with DS.

DS is not hard work, they had spent the morning in doing craft stuff & reading so from my POV she should not have been tired by mid-afternoon & they should've been out doing something in the afternoon.

When I checked with DS that evening he said she does it all the time and it makes him feel 'bad'. :(

Her contract ends in a fortnight as I am about to have DS2 (39wks).

I am swinging between talking to her about it this morning and possibly giving her some afternoons off (still honouring last 2wks of contract) & firing her and agreeing a week's paid notice.

I don't know if I am overreacting to feel that she has breached my trust & let DS down or whether talking it through will make me feel better / her change her attitude.

Nanny & DS have a good bond but she has avoided physical stuff like playground visits despite repeated requests & favours craft (ie lying on the floor) type activities. This combined with DS's comment makes me think she isn't putting the effort in.

help!

Laquitar - they go to a local story/song thing once a wk with others but she takes him in the buggy & it's him getting some exercise / motor skills as Bonsoir suggests..

hand't thought she might be an antisocial psycho too

Not antisocial psycho but reading some threads here i am surprised at how many people are very shy and avoid social things even coffee with other mums.
For me a socialable nanny would be top priority and housekeeping tasks last but thats me.

Well that's another debate isn't it Laquitar? There was a discussion on MN not long ago, about how the world and education in particular is skewed in favour of people who are socially able...and who are outgoing...whilst those of us who are naturally shy, really suffer at the hands of well meaning educators who force us to take part in all kinds of activities which do not suit us.

Yes we must learn to communicate in society....to mix and to get on with others...but getting in and amongst others in group situations is some children's idea of hell...heaven for others.

Oh blondes loves a debate - have to agree with laquiter

Tbh I think a sociable nanny is important - your child has got to learn skills such as sharing, good manners and communicating and playing and having fun with other children - as well as the basic 'learning' such as colours numbers spelling etc as they get older

Children learn to be outgoing and sociable etc if taken out to play with other children

And does seem unusual that a nanny doesn't Want to be out when a boss is home / as often tho not always the child plays up

Op - will you be going back to work at a later stage and employing a nanny again or now going to be a sahm?

No...they don't all "learn to be outgoing and sociable" at all. Some DC will NEVER be those things no matter how outgoing their parent or Nanny is.

Good manners and sharing are important and of course need to be taught...but you don't have to attend umpteen groups to learn those. If a child goes to part time nursery from the age of three, they learn more then.

I am very introverted and neither of my DDs were socialised a lot...they met with the few friends I have occasionaly and attended a weekly tots group with me...but they certaily did not witness my sparkling conversation and my actively joining in with things.

They have turned out to be the polar opposite of me...very outgoing and sociable just like their Dad..my DH. So much of this is innate.

'just like their dad'. Well, then they 've learnt it from their dad.
That's what we are saying. Children usually learn to enjoy things that their parents or nanny enjoy. It is like with the food or loving books etc (yes, i know this nanny likes her books ).

Well no...he didn't have primary care of them...he works away actually. They don't simly learn to enjoy what their parents enjoy! I love trawling aound antique fairs and ancient ruins...so did my Dad...but my other siblings hate that kind of thing.
I

to answer Blondes...undecided about the return to work at the mo...DS1 will be at nursery half days from Sept. Feel a bit like in the current economic sitch if I have a job I should go back to it. This thread makes me look like a guilt-ridden indecisive loon - hopefully it's just hormonal and my brain will clear in a few months' time!

Certainly agree with Laquitar that domestic chores come bottom of priority list - we don't ask for anything except cooking and cleaning behind herself & DS because would rather nanny spent time together.

The thing I always worry about with sociability is they may be lovely and outgoing now..but it only takes a few comments from a teacher or the wrong mix of kids when they get to school to change their outlook.

I remember a nursery teacher taking the piss out of me cos I said I could read a book and she told the other staff member that I had memorised it!! (altho it was the 70s, maybe more of a case of lack of political corectness). My sis and I were left handed and were routinely told at school we would be crap at sport and were called 'cack handed' etc!!

No, you dont sound like a loon

After my first post you have said that she only works 3 days, my next posts were general debate with other poster and non about your nanny. With 3 days working you can still do the things that you find important on the other days (although still much better if your nanny see the importance and does the outgoing stuff too)

Just put it down to experience and if you go back to work tell any nanny that you like your dcs to go out more, make a list and suggest some things. Also, let her know that you encourage 'playdates' and buy some snacks/biscuits for her and nanny friends who are invited for playdates.

And hide your books

sorry i dont know what happened with the faces and with the typos. I sound like loon now with all those grins

Not a lion :)

Loon even - bloody iPhone :)