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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Just a slight annoyance.

33 replies

mumo3g · 27/06/2012 19:32

Mum comes to pick up child from ours. I told her that we had to wake her up from the cot because of going out to one of these inside soft play centres. She comments that her child hasn't had her nap properly on Wednesday's for a while. I said it's down to ratio's. She looked miffed by this. Sometimes we are unable to give this child a nap at all depending on how long this child takes on lunch.

The issue we have is that DH has to do 1-1 care with a autistic child but that leaves me with 3 children, one of whom needs the activity too. I can't just pander to the needs of the one child when others need attention. Couldn't expect him to be quietly playing while the child naps he is very active or the other baby to be quiet too. The child had 30mins nap today which was all we could do before having to go out to collect the autistic child.

Sometimes I wish I could give notice to this family as the mum demands a lot. Wouldn't know how though.

OP posts:
Rubirosa · 27/06/2012 19:34

If you are unable to allow a child to sleep when they need to then I don't think you are providing for that child's needs. Sounds like you have taken on more than you can cope with?

lisaro · 27/06/2012 19:35

Surely you didn't all need to go pick up the other child? It sounds like you have too many children for your time/ability. The mother is entitled to expect her child to be looked after properly, which you don't seem able or willing to do. you need to assess your priorities.

JustFabulous · 27/06/2012 19:38

Why can't the child sleep in the house and you entertain the other children in the garden?

NatashaBee · 27/06/2012 19:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mnistooaddictive · 27/06/2012 19:41

I think I agree with the mother here. This would be a deal breaker if you were my cm. how old is this child? If 2 or over then ok, but under that I think you need to give them a higher priority.

forevergreek · 27/06/2012 19:43

I agree that's not catering for everyone's needs. One to one is just hat, so your dh should deal with that and you stay in whilst others nap o play quietly.

Surely the other children are under school age too and I would expect them all to either nap or spend nap time quietly resting doing something g relaxing like reading/ being read to, drawing, quiet small play

I wouldn't be happy that my children are being allowed to rudely wake another child by screaming/ running about at an inappropriate time. They have the rest of the day to do that and respect for others needs to be taught also

1-3 = nap time/ quiet time regardless of age here

drinkyourmilk · 27/06/2012 19:49

Agree with everyone else. I would expect my child to have the opportunity to nap if they needed it. Maybe we could help come up with ideas to keep the others entertained while this child sleeps? Or would you be able to move their nap time to a more.convenient time?

ShhhhhGoBackToSleep · 27/06/2012 19:49

So you are neglecting one child's basic needs because you are looking after too many children ("ratios") and then saying the mother who is not too pleased about it is too demanding??!!

Gosh, I'm very glad you are not my cm.

HolyCameraConfusionBatman · 27/06/2012 19:57

A child who needs a nap can't have one if they take too long eating their lunch? I wonder what Ofsted would make of that policy?

LingDiLong · 27/06/2012 20:06

OP, how old is the child and how long does the mother want them to nap for? Why the urgency for the soft play centre?

forevergreek · 27/06/2012 20:09

soft play is for free time, nap time = not free

bamboostalks · 27/06/2012 20:15

You are out of order on this.

SauvignonBlanche · 27/06/2012 20:17

Can't the poor thing sleep in another room?

PatriciaHolm · 27/06/2012 20:17

She's not demanding a lot, she's asking that you cater to her child's needs, not put him at the bottom of your list of considerations! Sounds as if you would both be better off if she left and found someone who would look after him properly.

JustFabulous · 27/06/2012 20:21

And I think you need to think how to give notice quick because if you can't do that it isn't going to be great for the kids and their families.

eastmidlandsnightnanny · 27/06/2012 20:39

you cant cater to one childs needs I agree but you are pandering to one childs needs in that you all left the house for a single child with special needs whom your husband is the 1:1 carer so you had no reason to wake a sleeping child to go so can not justify that.

Think you need to carefully consider ofsted ratio numbers are a maximum and not everyone can deal with those max numbers effectivley

the childminder we uses only has 2 under 2 on any one day although she could have 3 under 3 which she does on one day she didnt want 3 under the age of 2 as it would be challenging and she didnt feel she would meet all the childrens needs - one reason I chose her as I admired her honesty and felt she was putting the childrens best interest before her income.

wishiwasonholiday · 27/06/2012 20:40

I agree too that why can't your dh pick the child up and it's not fair the other child doesnt get a sleep to go to soft play. If it were my child I wouldn't be happy. I'm a cm and we tend to do morning activities and nap after lunch as it suits the children I have.

eastmidlandsnightnanny · 27/06/2012 20:45

our childminders routine is group/activity mornings, lunch, followed by nap, school run and home for small tea then I collect at 4.30pm and others collect 5/5.30pm.

As parents we also tend to do biggger activities morning then lunch and nap - mostly thats at home but sometimes in buggy if we are out and then afternoons are quiter in general.

longjane · 27/06/2012 22:01

if you have to do pick ups you have to.

rufusnine · 27/06/2012 22:24

Sleep is an essential part of most babies days. as a childminder you need to factor this in as part of your duty of care to that child surely! No one would say " Sorry i didn't change the babies nappy today because i couldn't fit it into my schedule" would they? All children need to be given the appropriate care for their age/development and IMO having a child needing a nap trumps a visit to a soft play area.

longjane · 27/06/2012 22:31

the other thing would be to to assistant in for wed /afternoon so this child can sleep
i know the 1 to 1 child is going soon so you change you times around a bit

Original poster
mumo3g · 27/06/2012 22:34

O.k I didn't expect this responce. The child that we have to wake is 2.5 and mum wants her to have a 2 + hour sleep. She only arrives at our house at lunchtime for the afternoon. The autistic child is still in nappy's and because of families culture they don't want my DH to change her nappy.

You can't expect me to only have the children in the garden while she naps? If the weather is good then fine but what if it's teeming down with rain or other adverse conditions?

The way our place is set out the sleeping area is next to the lounge but there is no door. (no can't put one up there.)

We do the best we can with this child as we do with all our children. We don't do it for the money. We are entitled to apply for more money for the autistic child but we don't.

When we say 1-1 we take turns with the autistic child. He does the main of the care yes but when she comes to me he takes the other children who mainly run about doing their own thing. (apart from baby of course, whoever looks after him stays with him.)

OP posts:
DontTellHimPike · 27/06/2012 22:46

It sounds like you're not the right fit for this child - give the mother notice and time to find an alternative cm. She wants you to make sure her child naps, you frequently find you can't accommodate it.
Bad match, and not really fixable, so time for you to part ways.

I agree with everyone above btw, the mother doesn't seem to be asking for anything unreasonable. If you think she is, then that's simply another sign that you aren't the right cm for this particular child.

Rubirosa · 27/06/2012 23:04

You should be able to provide adequate space and time for children to sleep - a 2 hour nap for a 2 year old doesn't sound that unreasonable to me.

It sounds like you have too many children with differing needs for you to be able to meet all those needs - I think you'd be best explaining that to the mother so she can find alternative care.

minderjinx · 28/06/2012 06:34

Mum03g, I can only agree that if you are not able to make changes to meet the two year old's needs and make provision for her sleep requirements, then you need to part company. If you have taken on too much in the sense that the children you have are not a good mix then one has to go.

But I can also understand how hard it is to please everyone. I had a little girl afternoons only and some days she would come having slept all morning and be raring to go; others she would be dropped off with strict instructions that she must sleep all afternoon as she'd been out all morning (all of which completely at odds with the "routines" I was told about when setting up the childcare agreement). We never knew whether we were coming or going and it was really hard to plan anything and make sure the other children's interests were not affected. I was so pleased when they moved and am now very wary of agreeing to take a child for half days - at least if you have a whole day there is more scope to vary nap and meal times to suit everyone better. Anyway, I am just saying in a roundabout way that in answer to those who are quick to say you should not have taken the child on, that sometimes parents are not completely honest about what they need or expect and spring new demands on you once they start, perhaps knowing that you will find it hard to say no once you are attached to the child and vice versa.

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