Providing Childcare At A Wedding

[Staceisace]

I've been booked by a family to provide childcare at their wedding in just over a week. I say family, I don't think the couple themselves have any children, just some of the guests. I've been told there are ten children aged between three and ten. There is an outdoor children's play area at the venue as well as a room for the children to use if they don't want to be outside/it's raining.

I'm quite looking forward to it - I've never done anything like it before so I hope I do a good job. I really want to help make their special day run smoothly.

I'm to arrive before the ceremony and stay until 9pm or later in the evening. I'm assuming I'll be in the room until after the reception or whenever the children start to get restless? Anyway, I have two questions.

One - I've already mentioned that we'd need to have some toys, games and possibly some colouring books etc. in the room to suit all the age groups but was wondering if I should have asked for anything else to be in there? Possibly a soft area where the kids could rest when it starts getting late? And maybe some snacks/drinks suitable for them? I was thinking of planning some little party games just in case - any suggestions on those?

Two - this is a more selfish issue - what the hell do I wear?! Normally when I'm babysitting/nannying it's jeans/leggings and a tshirt or jumper and some flat pumps. Obviously I can't wear that. Any suggestions as to what I can wear that is practical but not too casual? I don't want to look completely out of place even though I'll be out of the way most of the time.

Is there only you ?

you imho have at least 3 (4 is going outside)
one to stay in room one outside one on toilet run and one floating (and covering breaks ect)

unless these kids are used to being together and therefore dont fight and play well together
you are going to earn every penny here methinks

just wear a nice top and black trousers

Will your insurance cover you for that many children? I agree that of its only you then you're going to face some logistical issues!

I would ask if there's any way they can provide a TV and DVD player!

Black trousers and a plain coloured top with pumps will look smart yet plain enough for you to not be a guest and sufficiently different to the serving staff.

Well, they described me as being 'an extra pair of hands' and that the parents would be around - I'm not just going to be left with all the kids at once as some of them will want to sit at the table during the speeches or dance around with family when the band is playing. I think I'll end up just being responsible for anyone who gets a bit restless. I was going to suggest a TV/DVD - I don't normally but I thought it would be handy when it's gone past the bed times of some of the younger children?

Thanks for the outfit suggestions - I don't actually have any black trousers - they look hideous on me! I might ask the family what they expect me to wear...

I have done some wedding creches,you should not have ten children on your own ,,you should find a friend to help there should be at least two of you as there are no babies when generally We have more people. You do need to take toys,puzzles,books,paper pens,colouring sheets.I hope they are not underpaying you ,this will be a really hard day for you.please take a friend.You do need refreshments for the children and as Frankabove said perhaps you could ask the couple to see if the venue ..Is it a hotel ?can provide a TV and DVD.

i do lots of wedding work and i can can almost 100% guarantee that you will be having these children on your own, esp if there is a room to 'dump' them

for that many you at least need 2 others as legally you cant look after all 10 by yourself and if you need to take one to the toilet, or go yourself then the other person cant do it alone

same as outside venue and inside, you cant be in two places at once

the family should provide drinks and snacks for you and children

i wear black trousers and top - or if through agency then their t shirt

I don't work through an agency - I was contacted via my Gumtree advert. They are paying me a higher hourly rate than I normally ask for and they are covering all transport costs as well as providing me with two meals throughout the day.

This is what they said:

"Total number of kids is 10, between the ages of 3 and 10 but obviously we would not expect you to look after them all at once - more of an extra pair of hands."

I was planning to go with the majority - if most of the kids wanted to be outside, any who didn't would stay with their parents inside and vice versa. I will be sure to ask about the toilet situation, thank you for mentioning that. I will ask about hiring two babysitters/nannies.

I've told them that they need to provide all toys/books etc. as I don't have any (I usually take care of kids in their own homes).

I've looked up the location and it's not a hotel, it's a historic house. I can't see any outdoor children's area from the photos. It seems that all the other rooms stem from the 'main hall', including toilets.

I think you need to get some more information:

• how many families are there (for example, is it 5 sets of siblings or 10 children from different families - if the former, elder siblings may take some responsibility for younger ones);
• what are the ages of the children (if mainly 7 - 10, you can probably expect them to play by themselves with little intervention leaving you to look after any younger ones; if they're mainly 3 & 4, you're going to have your work cut out!)
• do the parents know childcare is on offer? have they been told to bring toys/entertainment for their children? if there is an outside play area (I'm thinking climbing frames etc, are the children bringing a change of clothes/shoes? If not, are they happy for their DC to ruin their monsoon party dress/beige linen suit or are you supposed to keep them clean?
• will the children be bringing their own toys or are the bride & groom planning on providing a little party bag for them to have at the meal and that's it?

- when is your finish time? 9pm or later is very vague. If the reception is until midnight, you may not finish until 1am on the basis that these things always overrun.

• how do they expect or want you to run it? are the children expected to be with their parents during the ceremony and/or meal or can they be with you then? If the rooms are close to each other and you have some/all of the children for the ceremony/speeches, do the bride & groom mind if they can hear children running around excitedly or are you supposed to keep them quiet?

I think you definitely need at least one other person. How is your majority thing going to work? Say they all seem to be playing happily inside but then half a dozen older ones want to go outside but the 3yr old wants to keep colouring in inside... how are you going to persuade the older ones to stay where they are or the younger one to go outside? You can't tell the 3yr old to go & find its parents and, even if you take the 3yr old, it may take you a few minutes to locate the parents during which the others aren't going to be looked after. The parents are going to be making the most of the childcare (at least, I would) and, even if they mean to come & check on their DC every 30 mins say, they'll get caught up in conversastions or whatever and, before they know it, an hour will have gone by.

Thank you for raising those questions - I'm going to try and put them to the couple. I think you're all correct in saying I'll need another person.

I have told the couple that they either need to tell their friends/family to bring toys or they must provide an adequate amount based on what the children will need. I've asked them to speak to all the parents about the arrangement but I will have to drive home the point that I'm only there to help and that at the end of the day they still have to be responsible for their own children.

The reception runs until 9pm - the venue is not a hotel, it's a historic house which can only stay open until this time. I said 'until later' because as you say, these things tend to over run a little.

They still have to give me more details on how the day will run but from what I gather the children will be with their parents throughout the ceremony then photographs will be taken mostly of the couple, at which time as long as the weather is good the children will play outside (will run the issue of clothing by them). After that is the reception where the children should ideally be with their parents until the speeches when they'll probably get bored and want to go to the separate room to play with toys/games with me. After this, I'm not entirely sure what's going to happen.

If you're on your own, which sounds a bad plan tbh, please make sure the room has mobile phone reception, and get phone numbers for all parents, and tell them to keep their phones on, so they can collect their DC if they need the loo, are being difficult, upset or whatever.

Also be clear about drop-off/pick-up arrangements, can't have the children wandering about.

Realistically, guests aren't going to help you much, they'll dump and run, I'd insist on more money so you can bring a friend to help.

You really, really do need to think of your insurance here. What if one of the children becomes injured while in your care? Will your insurance cover you when you have so many children to care for? I know the parents say you are an extra pair of hands, but if something bad happens they won't see it that way, they will sue you. Harsh, but true. Please just check with your insurers

Somewhere for the smaller ones to nap?

The couple contacted me to say we'll probably need another person just as I was about to ask them. I've put all the issues raised here to them and am awaiting a response.

I'm not sure that any of my friends will want to do it so I might suggest that if the guests are local and have their own babysitter, they could ask her.

FWIW, I think the idea of a wedding nanny is fantastic. We hired two wonderful ladies at great expense on our wedding day some years ago, before we had DCs.

Only one child was left with them. The other little darlings were allowed to scream through our wedding vows. . And then family members were used to provide evening babysitting. Or older children just danced with the adults anyway, which was fine.

I'm just saying that some parents, especially those with younger DCs, might be reluctant to trust you. So you might not be as busy as you imagine. In which case, having someone else with you to chat with will be a good idea!

My brother had this for his wedding.
There were two childminders.
It was mainly for the evening part of the event as children were too interested in the wedding goings on until later.
I think there were colouring books, puzzles etc. but for my two it was mainly somewhere to chill and watch DVD when they'd had enough of the excitement.
It was just in a room in the hotel - old castle type building taken over just for the wedding. If the children went outside that was with family or older friends- the childminders didn't have to move around.
Can't remember what arrangements there were for contacting parents, but it worked well for me as a single parent as I could still enjoy company of family members I'd not seen in ages after my boys had overdosed on family.

I think as long as you have two nannies the numbers are not that important one time I did a wedding I only had two at any time even though there was ten children at the wedding. Kids like to dance around and enjoy the wedding.

I think it is right you raised all the good points which others have made on this thread to the couple. Not having children themselves, it sounds like they might be a bit naive about how you are going to keep the children safe and entertained (as I was pre-children).

Their minds will be focused elsewhere so it is for you to remind them about the toys, food/drink, toilets, how children (esp pre-schoolers) who are sleepy can rest, the hotel to set up a DVD. Frankly, I would not rely on the parents to bring toys or colouring books. You should bring some over yourself to be safe.

I would not count on any parent being there with you. It will just be the nannies who are paid to be there on that day.

Thanks again to everyone for their feedback.

They'd initially asked me to come after the ceremony but then asked if I was free beforehand which I am. It means I can meet the parents/children before the day gets started. I've told the couple to let all the parents know that I'll be there (and hopefully another nanny!) so that they could have a look over my CV and references as well as sending me any questions they might have and letting me know if any of the children have any conditions or allergies I should know about (and provide the necessary medication etc.)

Unfortunately I only take care of children in their own homes so don't have any toys here (unless cat toys count? haha! once I had a couple of little boys be left at my flat due to the mum being late to pick them up from their dad's and the youngest got stuck into the cat toy box before I had the chance to stop him) I do have quite a few Disney DVDs (don't judge, I flipping loved those as a kid!) so could provide those if there was a DVD player to use. I guess I could bring my laptop and play them on that if necessary. I was planning on bringing a stack of blank paper and colouring pencils too.

I would be inclined to want to stay indoors because it's easier to keep track of numbers in a room than it is to keep an eye on them outdoors. Also, it's unlikely any parents will want to spend time outside along with the children so I'd essentially be on my own out there. I mentioned the issue of the kids messing up their fancy wedding clothes to the couple so hopefully that puts them off the outdoor play area idea! I can't see a play area on the location's website so it's either very new or very small.

You def need someone else with you. I've done this with one other nanny. I also second the idea of sticky name labels.

Dress - we were daytime wedding guests (child-free) so were were dressed up for the event. We took a spare set of dressy/casual clothes for the babysitting side of things.

We had to supervise the children during their mealtime and the amount of loo runs we had to do was amazing. No way could you leave the children alone while you run off to the loo. We also had a broken glass incident which could have been a disaster if they had been unattended.

Entertainment - reading books, soft toys, pens/crayons/pencils and colouring books. Snakes & ladders, connect four that sort of thing. Ipod and speakers (we had a disco of our own while the oldies partied in another part of the building). Dance competitions. Jigsaws.

Buggies/blankets/teddies etc for sleepy bunnies. Baby alarm if tinies are to be sleeping in another room.

We had ages from 5 month up to 9yrs. A terrifying thought, but, turned out to be a breeze. . Parents were available at all times if needed, but, i'd happily do it again.

Good luck.

Thanks, magicOC. The children are all 3+, so no nappies but I imagine quite a lot of trips to the loo. Probably no real need for buggies so hopefully there'll be some nice soft seating for them if they do want a lie down.

I was thinking of trying to make it like a little party for the kids - possibly making up a few pass the parcel packages or something? I just want it to be a fun day for everyone I guess.

We'll see how it works out. The couple live abroad and have just come back this weekend - the wedding is this day week so they've left it all to the last minute to sort this out. I'm hoping some of the parents use a babysitter that might be available to help out as at least some of the children would be familiar with them.

Pass the Parcel sounds fun

How old are the oldest?

Maybe if they have a DS/Playstation that sort of thing? Otherwise they might get a bit bored with 3yr olds .

We were very very lucky in that all the kids got on great and the older ones were very helpful too.

FWIW I only knew 2 of the kids, but, they all knew each other so that did help.

Face paints are good too. Obviously check with parents for poss previous bad reactions.

Have fun.

Did you speak to your insurance about it?

The main thing I thought of as reading was what Hamish has asked: Your insurance is unlikely to cover you for more than 6 children, so it may be a case of actually needing another nanny to cover your insurance purposes!

Make it clear that you expect another nanny to be there, because you will likely be left with all of the kids whether the couple claim you won't be or not!