What would be reasonable to ask childminder to do with her dog?

[billsmill]

DD1 currently goes to childminder three nights after school. Very happy there, childminder is great, everything going well.
DD2 starts school in Sep and is due to go with dd1 to same childminder.
All good, for first time in four years there will be only one place to pick up from.
Only problem is that childminder has a puppy and dd2 is terrified of dogs. Have been taking her with me when I pick up dd1 and it's not getting any better. Puppy is very small, very well behaved but doesn't understand why dd2 doesn't want to play with her. DD2 on the other hand has to be surgically removed from my neck whenever the dog is around.
Would I be reasonable in asking that the childminder put the dog outside whilst dd2 is there? Or should I just hope dd2 gets used to dog.
Am dreading September now. Was really looking forward to it, dd's in same place, being looked after well.
What would you suggest?

I wouldn't ask her to put it out, what if it's horrible weather? It wouldn't really be fair on the dog (and i'm not a dog person at all).

Surely the dog doesn't have free run if the house though? Maybe ask if it can be contained in one room? If she won't maybe she's not the right setting for your dd2?

I'd ask the Childminder, tell her your concerns and see what she proposes. She may well already be thinking of keeping the dog well away from your DD2 when she's there.

Personally I think it's cruel to put dogs outside all day long :/ see what your CM says about it as surely she's noticed your DD is scared and will have thought of something?

Your DD might get used to the dog, particularly if you aren't there for her to cling to. Is there a particular reason why she's scared of dogs? Bad experience in the past?

No bad experience, just a phase that doesn't seem to be passing.
I don't think she should put the dog outside if it's bad weather either, it wouldn't be fair. She does have a cage with a bed in it for the puppy in the dining room. Maybe it would be okay to suggest the puppy could go in it when they're eating dinner and then puppy goes with the children outside when they're playing out and if dd2 doesn't want to go outside, she stays in.

Talk to childmider see what she suggests. It could be a good way for your DD to get over her fear, however puppies are generally playfull and can be nippy. Start looking for another childminder if you are going to worry.

If there's no specific reason why she's scared of dogs you might find things will work out okay - she'll be so excited with starting school and going to the CM's with her sister that she hopefully won't be focusing on the dog (whereas when she comes with you to collect your other daughter it's probably all she thinks about). The dog will be older by September too which will probably help (unless it's going to become massive?!)

I hope it works out for you all - it'd be a shame to have to find someone else and it'd help your little girl in the long run if she managed to get over her fear as I'm sure she's going to meet many more dogs in her lifetime.

My D2 was terrified of dogs at the age of 4yrs as she got bitten by one. However, our friends dogs are very placid and this has helped her to overcome her fear.
I would suggest (if you are determined to use this CM for her) that you start addressing this problem now. Why is she clinging to your neck, you must be carrying her? Encourage her to walk into the CM's.
I would talk to the CM - she will be wanting to work at this with you. Maybe you DD can give the puppy a small biscuit or start to play with the puppy.
I'm not a great dog lover myself, however I wouldn't want my DC's to have fear of them.
I hope this is an opportunity to overcome this fear with your DD. Good Luck.

It's worth bearing in mind that a couple of months for a puppy is a long time and it might be much calmer by the end of the summer (and your dd might be braver too :)). Do speak to your childminder about it though as if it's not going to work you will need to make new arrangements as soon as you can.

It is not up to you to suggest something.
You explain the situation to the CM and then she makes a judgement about how best to deal with it. The if you're not happy with her suggestion you discuss further.
Remember that it is strongly in her interests to deal with this effectively.

I think it would be extremely valuable opportunity for the child to become less fearful of dogs. I would talk to CM about concerns & best way to proceed gently with that aim.

Its hard for me to be objective since i have been terrified of dogs all my life (I am 51) and still am! However, as a childminder I would say that you need to sit down and work out a plan of action in order to address your daughters fears. Having a dog around is not guaranteed to make her less scared of them but it is possible that she can learn to live with a dog that she knows is under control and not allowed to "harrass" her.

My son is/was scared of dogs and the childminder i wanted to use has a dog. He always used to go to work with her husband so it was never really an issue until he changed jobs and suddenly couldn't take him anymore. We agreed that until my son was comfortable around him he would be kept either outside or in the utility room. She gradually introduced DS to the dog and after a week or so he was happy to stroke him through stairgate bars and within the first month I came to collect him one day and found the pair if them snuggled on the sofa!! He still doesn't really like dogs especially very large or boisterous ones but spent a very happy 2 years with that cm. talk through your concerns and hopefully you can work something out together.

Thank you lechatnoir, that's so good to hear.
I am taking dd2 today and we spoke about it this morning. I thought she'd freak out, but she said she's happy to be in the room with the puppy if it's being held. (we're just doing pick up so this shouldn't be for very long). I think regular visits before Sep and maybe like you did for your son, some time with the dog in a different room until she gets used to her.
Thank you for the reassurance though.

For her future, it is important that your DD's fear of dogs doesn't develop. It is actually a very positive thing for her to have the opportunity to safely confront her fear. Talk to CM about it and how you can work together to slowly introduce DD to the dog to get her used to it. The CM shouldn't have to remove the dog.
It really isn't an issue but could become a big one later in life.
At some point your DD is going to have to have contact with dogs and you need to help her get over the fear before she is too old to change.
Trust me, you don't want her to grow up being scared of animals.

We have a five month puppy he is not allowed in the playroom ,ever and only goes in front room in the evening I have gates up so he can see and hear us and he has use ok kitchen dinning room back door is open so can go out side when wants. The children obviously love the garden but I am with them all the time out there. If he doesn't leave them alone he gets sent to bed (timeout) I would never shut him outside it's cruel. All my clients were asked before we got him they were all really happy and any enquiries I get I always tell them first. Ask her if she could put a gate on the room she minds in so that your dd has a safe haven and by knowing they won't actually have contact but by being able to see him hopefully she may at least just get use to him being there. Good luck