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Advice required....

9 replies

altern8gal · 13/06/2012 07:59

I have been helping a friend out several times a week, she drops her 2 kids (4 & 5) at mine 7.30am and I give them breakfast/do an activity/a bowl of fruit/take them to school for £20. The problem is that they are becoming increasingly rude. I've been asked "Do you ever hoover up coz it's dirty" (anyone who knows me knows that I am obsessive about cleaning, especially if people are coming to my house). I asked the little girl to help tidy up before the school run and her reply was "You're not our mum". One day she was acting up a bit when her mum dropped her off, and when her mum had gone she was all smiles, her brother then said to me "she does that because she doesn't like you". Yesterday, after breakfast, the young boy took something off my 5yr old son, so I asked him to return it. All 3 went into another room and I could hear the girl saying to my son "You're mum is nasty"! She has also done the "Loser" sign right to my face. Also, the kids started being dropped at mine at 7.30am, it's now gone to 7am. There are never any pleases or thank you's and even though I correct them, I get a dirty look and a rude response. I understand kids are cheeky sometimes, mine included, but I am starting to think that this is just not worth it and am unsure about how to tell my friend. I volunteer with my sons school and at a local community music project aimed at under-privilaged children, so know all about varied behaviour etc but even then, have never come across this level of rudeness, especially in my own home. It's actually starting to get me down. Pls advise.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
grabaspoon · 13/06/2012 08:01

I would stop caring for them and tell their mother (your friend!) the reason why.

ZuleikaD · 13/06/2012 09:31

Either that or get tough with her. You wouldn't tolerate that sort of behaviour with your own children so don't take it from her (sounds from what you say as though it's mostly the girl).

Also, if an extra half hour has been added, the price goes up. But unless the extra cash really comes in handy I would knock it on the head - the girl sounds unpleasant.

anewyear · 13/06/2012 10:08

Nope, as a Ofsted Registered Childminder, I wouldnt tolerate it either, at 4 & 5 theyre old enough IMO, to picked up on it. Told its not acceptable..

Id be telling her about her childrens behaviour..

Tell her you wont be tolerating it any more, its not on..
Difficult I know, But if she is any friend at all, she will be having a word with her kids about their behaviour.
I can say all this because Ive been there and done it..HTH

iloveACK · 13/06/2012 10:13

I would definitely tell the mother what is happening & based on her response, take it from there. If she doesn't back you up, then cancel the arrangement.

Good luck as it sounds horrible & I can understand it would get you down.

happychappy · 13/06/2012 10:34

I would ring the mum when all children are out of earshot and talk about two or three of the particular incidences and say they have upset you because you don't expect to be spoken to like that. You don't want a bit issue of it because kids are kids etc but quietly can you have a word with them about how they speak to you. Hopefully she will be so embarrassed she will give them both a rocket, if not you can walk away.

altern8gal · 14/06/2012 07:41

Thanks for your input. I will speak to the mum over the weekend and probably stop doing it as it isn't worth my time, or sanity lol!

OP posts:
mopbucket · 14/06/2012 08:44

My word after over 20yrs in childcare i have never heard of such rudeness from one so young Sad
My advice is if you dread them coming then its time to get rid
Its not worth your health for the hassle

redglow · 14/06/2012 09:01

Is that 20 a day or a week? It's not really worth the hassle unless you need the money also you own children might pick up their ways too.

altern8gal · 17/06/2012 13:34

£20 a week. I spoke to both children the other day, and warned them that this was my house, so my rules and any more rudeness etc would be reported back to their mum. They were good as gold. Anyhow, for £20/week I am still thinking that it's not really worth my time as I have to wake my boys at least an hour earlier than usual etc. I'll prob keep on til the Summer hols and then stop doing it...unless the bad behaviour returns lol!

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