Should we pay a leaving bonus?

[IVB]

Our Nanny has worked for us on a 'shared' basis, 2 days a week for the past 2 1/4 years. She is now leaving us to go work for the other family full time as they are expecting their 4th child and have made her an offer she can't refuse. My question is, should we give her a bonus when she leaves? Family and friends say no, but am just not sure - can anyone advise?

I think it's the right thing to do, especially if you have been very satisfied with her. Or a generous gift. We paid a nanny we liked v much just over a week's salary as a leaving bonus.

It sort of depends on the exact circumstances, I think. If, putting it bluntly, between her and the other family you are being a bit left in the lurch - ie, you do still need childcare and it's being taken away from you - then I think what would be appropriate is no more than a nice keepsake - something your child has made, perhaps - and a bunch of flowers. Because being nice about being left in the lurch is enough of a gesture.

On the other hand, if you're happy to move on and she's been wonderful and you want to say thank you, then a small bonus - about the cost of a nice dinner out for her and her boyfriend - (plus the keepsake and the flowers) would sound right to me.

Many thanks to both of you for your advice. Funnily enough, we had planned to give her her notice on the same day she gave hers. Our kids are growing up and felt that we would be able to cope on our own, she had also let us down rather badly over the Christmas/New Year season, over which I still have a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. But, my children have already made a gift for her and might add something else. Thanks for your advise - much appreciated.

V interesting thread for me - our nanny leaves (I am giving up work outside the home) in five weeks time.

I was wondering about how to end it all - she has been with us nearly 4 years, only p/t but much loved and very much part of the family. However...it does feel weird to pay someone a bonus as they leave (we have paid bonuses at Xmas and last year for her 2 week hols too as we felt we owed her - and I always justified it to myself as an investment in the future of the relationship). That said from what other nannies have said on here in the past, cash is pretty much always nice, and I hope to continue to use her on an adhoc basis for odd days, babysits etc.

What would you do in these circs?

In your case, I would say, give her money and something personally made by your children. We would have done the same with our Nanny, except she let us down recently and we feel a little like we have been taken for a ride. Had she left under better circumstances, I think we would have given her a very generous bonus - let's face it, if you had a choice between a present and money, most people would take the £££. My children adore her, so I will try to make sure she leaves here feeling good, so that she will want to come back and visit them in the future - just like you hope to. So, it may seem very impersonal, but ££££ seems to do the job.

agree with IVB here. If money feels impersonal you could make it feel less so by making the amount refer to something special - eg if you know she wants a DVD player or weekend in Paris you could give the cost of that. Also, when our long-term nanny left I gave her some pretty earrings, just from me.

I should think she's probably planning to give your children something special as a leaving present, so I'd bear that in mind when thinking about what's appropriate.

As the nanny has worked for you for more than 2 years, if she hadn't handed in her notice and you instead gave her notice - then you may have fallen under Redundency rules - therefore you nanny has saved you money, as you now don't have to pay any redundancy (which could have been 2 weeks salary).

A personal gift from the children I think is lovely. A gift from you is also something that would be appreciated - what sort of gift could depend on what you can afford and what you feel your nanny would like. Perhaps there is a special event coming up for your nanny shortly, such as getting married, or a birthday.

If you don't know what your nanny would like, then money in some form is always going to be handy. You may not want to give cash, so consider alternatives such as John Lewis/M&S gift vouchers. That way the nanny can buy themselves a gift they want, rather than spend the money purely paying their daily bills.

Thanks for the ideas - I think I will go with some personal things from me and the kids, and the cash - she is going travelling so it can be 'for your holiday'. Hadn't thought that she might get something for the kids - she is a very generous present giver too - so thanks for that idea.

Sinclair, I think you will be paying her redundancy... which I actually though was our weeksunless otherwise noted in the contract. Am I wrong about this nannynick?

I think the redundancy pay is the bonus, I wouldn't add to it. I'd probably give some kind of gift, but not in the form of pay. SOme made by the kids? I nice framed pic of the kids? And definitely an invitation to come back and visit.

Jura,
IVB's nanny resigned. Did I miss something on Sinclair's nanny?

We called Nannytax (who handle the admin for us) to get advise prior to giving our nanny her notice, without realizing she would beat us to it. Redundancy pay was never mentioned - just some other stuff about having to treat her the same way that a multi-national corporation would have to i.e., telling her that she't 'at risk of her job becoming redundant' and instead would have to offer her alternative jobs/hours .... perhaps some ironing, housekeeping or gardening???!!!! The whole thing was pretty absurb - thanks to the EU. Just wanted you to know there wasn't any Redundancy pay involved. FYI, as I don't want her leaving here feeling unappreciated, we shall be giving her gift vouchers to John Lewis (or something like that) and a nice frame with picture of the boys and another frame and card the boys made .... I would be very sad if she walks of here at the end of the week and we never see her again .... starting to get stressed!

You are right Uwila I have resigned so no longer need childcare so the position is redundant. Nanny has been in the loop for 6 months tho as she is retraining and we have been trying to tie in timing. But good point to check contract/nannytax and see what I owe that way - it will be similar to bonus we were thinking of hopefully.

No

a bonus is to encourage ongoing good attitude / effort etc

a leaving present perhaps .. but no monetary benefit for leaving

you would be far better giving new nanny a bonus for succesful completion of 3 month trial

Thanks for the advise Twiglett - trouble is, I haven't a clue what she would want, so will give her John Lewis vouchers to purchase something to remember us by, rather than give her cash, which would just end up in her wedding fund.

.. give her a box of chocolates or bottle of champagne or flowers .. its a token gift

give her a framed picture of your kids