WWYD? CM is pregnant.

[EBDTeacher]

I have a lovely CM who 21mo DS has a great relationship with. I know he is very happy there and is developing well. He goes mornings only.

CM has an older DC at school and a DC a few months older than my DS at home. She does before school and the school run for a few DC but then during the day only has my DS and her little DC.

She is having a baby in Nov and has requested 2 weeks off. My choices:

1. Leave DS with her other than those 2 weeks. He would leave her to start per-school in May 2013.

2. Take 6 weeks unpaid leave from my job (teacher) to look after DS myself across Nov/Dec then start him in pre-school early in Jan 2013.

Part of me thinks that lots of people have 4 kids so CM will cope fine and DS will have a lovely experiance of welcoming into a baby into the home.

The other part thinks I could never cope with working 2 weeks after giving birth so I don't want my CM to feel that she has to. Also, what if she has to have a CS and is pretty incapacitated for a few weeks or, God forbid, the baby is ill etc. I will end up taking the time off work anyway but without giving my school chance to plan for it. Would it be better just to make alternative plans for my DS?

Hi EBD, I was pregnant with dc5 and based on previous pregnancies/births I thought I would be able to return to cm after 5 weeks. This was because one parent was also on maternity leave (but wanted some free time once I returned) and the other had a seasonal job, so neither child had to go into alternative childcare.

But.... After 4 straightforward births number 5 required a blood transfusion a week later. I felt so Ill and I could never have predicted this from past experiences.

So what I'm trying to say is that you need to consider what is best for your ds and your family and make your plans ahead so that everyone knows what is happening, whether that includes unpaid leave or a short term replacement childminder that has close links with your childminder.

Please though keep the lines of communication open with your childminder so that she knows what is happening and doesn't hear it elsewhere!

Hi EBD, I am a childminder who works alongside another childminder from my house. We both found out we were 4 weeks apart in our pregnancies last year. We planned as much as we could with our parents, sending some of our biggies off to nursery and keeping a reduced number of littlies with us. My co-minder had her baby 3 weeks ago and I covered for her, mine is due anytime. So far everything has gone to plan and none of our parents have been disrupted. It helps that we have some flexibility with some of our mindees so we can continue cover for our teacher parents easily.

Is there anyone your cm can call on for support if she needs it? Does she usually work closely with other cm's who your DS can get to bond with during her pregnancy? With your little one so close to starting nursery it would be a shame to break his relationship with his cm if you can avoid it. Will you be using her for pre/after nursery care later?

One of our sets of parents had grandparents on standby during the time when either myself of my co-cm could go into labour, is there anyone around who could jump in at short notice for you?

Speak openly with your cm, ask her what her back-up plans are and voice your concerns, it's all better out in the open :-)

She may only be taking 2 weeks as its all she can afford, and because she doesn't want to lose all her customers. Some childminders care for 3 younger and 3 older ones regularly (I also have 2 over 8's making 8), she's probably not concerned about numbers. I would just chat to get and let her know you're worried.

Thanks for these responses, they made me think.

I don't have any family/ anyone who could jump in to look after DS if things didn't go to plan. I have spoken to all involved today and decided to take the leave from work.

It will be very nice for me to have some time with DS and, although not ideal, we will manage financially. It will give CM until January to get settled with new baby. She doesn't live on the money she makes from childminding so it is not going to beggar her. I hope it's the best thing for everybody.