Confused mum needing PT childcare for PFB... !

[Saffra]

Pls help - feeling confused!

I'm looking to restart my search for PT childcare for my 8 month old DD Sept/Oct (she'll be 1yo) Originally, I'd planned to start her earlier, but it felt too soon (velcro EBF baby).

I run my own business and have managed so far using a mix of my brilliant assistant, my mum, and working when DD naps/sleeps. Although it's been fine, I do feel that I need to increase my hours. I'm also conscious that my DD will be dropping naps soon, and so I will lose this time.

So, I have been ringing around this week, and feel a bit stuck on what would work best. I was thinking of starting off doing 1 day @ 10am-4pm, increasing this to 2 days @ 10am-4pm. However, it would be good to have the possibility to add extra hours later on down the line. My mum will have her for 2 days for just a few hours each day.

Although all the childminders I've met with seem nice, I haven't totally loved any of them. I'm not a massive fan of labels, but I suppose I'm quite an attachment-y type parent, and I suppose I can't yet imagine any new ppl looking after DD. Also, the hours that I want seem to clash with school runs and outings, etc. I have spoken to a few nurseries, and the better ones local to me seem to require a minimum of 2 full days.

Should I consider doing the two full days at nursery? (I don't feel I need this, and not sure DD would benefit, but who knows!)

One childminder thought that 1 shortish day wasn't enough, as would probably be unsettling etc for DD, esp if naps were disturbed with her arriving/leaving. Would that really be the case?

Will a nursery meet our needs better than a childminder? (e.g. socialisation for DD, flexibility to add more hours in future).

Help! I feel stuck!

If you don't love the carer, don't do it. I speak from experience - went with a childminder I thought was fine but wasn't enthused about - i HATED leaving ds there when the time came. Lasted 2 weeks.

I always recommend nannyshares on here but will do so again. You never know - ask around. We found someone looking for some shared nannying hours on our residents' association newsletter. The nanny was absolutely amazing, she was my parenting guru, she looked after one other child and ds, and I felt from the start entirely happy leaving ds there - what a difference.

I'll be honest - I support any parent's use of childcare, I think a good carer is fantastic, but IMO a child of your dd's age won't actively benefit from the care itself, except that she will benefit from the benefits to you IYSWIM. So I wouldn't put her in nursery for extra hours for socialisation. But if you like the nursery, go for it. For this age, my personal choice was to look hard for home-based care.

If you are at home and therefore nominally in charge, or at least contactable, you could consider someone less qualified and experienced, perhaps younger, than a full-on nanny, more of a mother's help type? You can get some wonderful, resourceful people who love children but who aren't qualified, but bear in mind that you can't use childcare vouchers unless they are Ofsted registered. Try gumtree or again ask around.

You will know when you have found the right CM/setting, by gut instinct usually. If they don't feel right - they aren't right for you.
I would go with a CM but I am biased, being one. Having said that my ds did go to a nursery one day a week for a year (hated it). A Cm can generally offer a more personalised approach for a baby, and is often more flexible than a nursery.
I think you need to look at your DD's routine, remembering it will change as she gets older, and how much work you hope to achieve in the time they are in childcare. That should help guide you with the hours you want. A 10am start for many cm's could be restrictive as they often go out in the mornings to groups etc. so this may not be popular. Given that you have some flexibility I suggest you say to the CM that you need x days of x hours and ask what they can offer. For example, I have 2 sets of parents that do 9.00-3.00 which suits me perfectly as it means the children aren't with me for school runs.
The other thing I would say is that your DD is at the prime age for separation anxiety to start and with that in mind I would perhaps recommend looking at a minimum of 2 days from the outset (could be shorter days but I wouldn't suggest less than 3 or 4 hours) as one day, though doable, is not really frequent enough for her to get used to the idea. Whatever you do, expect her to protest, usually getting worse after the first couple of weeks!

Do remember that just because the nursery is open from 7 am until 6 pm they don't have to be in all day - id suggest that you look to do 9-3 in a nursery as she will get her breakfast then but that's up to you - I'd also say keep at it, yes it's hard but it is so rewarding my DS loves his nursery now

Keep looking til you find the right cm fir you. You will know when it feels right. I would suggest making your hours 9-3 ish as a childminder may find these easier to accommodate I have some children 9:30 - 2:30 which fit in around school run but one child does 10 - 4 and it is harder to fit around other children e.g. Parent & toddler groups 9:30 - 11:30 so children can not go if child is late as less than an hour by time we get there

The reason a lot of nurseries stipulate 2 days minimum is because 1 day is very unsettling for everyone involved. More time in childcare often means it is less upsetting to be left, and everyone can relax and settle in quicker. Of course, you need to find the right childcare, but when you do, I recommend 2 days minimum. Even if its only a few hours on day 2.

Thanks for the replies. I'm going to visit a couple of nurseries to see what they offer. Had always gravitated towards home based care but am struggling to find a childminder close by that seems a good fit and has availability. I guess if the 'perfect' nursery came up, I would consider it but perhaps have her in for less time. At this moment in time, even 1 full day away from me seems far too long... Seems a bit mad to pay for something and not use it though....

I like the idea of a mothers help! What's the average rate?? I'm based in Cheshire. Other than placing an ad, how do I go about finding one? I assume they need to be crb checked, etc?

Is it only me that finds this soooooo hard?

If attachment style care is important to you (it is to me too) and you are looking at nurseries, rather than childminders, you need to ask a lot of questions about their key worker systems.

Every Early Years setting has to identify a key worker/key person but how they manage the relationship varies widely.

This person could be very involved with your child, leading the settling in process, being the main carer in the early days, being the main feeder and nappy-changer, spending one to one time with her and becoming a familiar person very quickly. This would allow your DD to build an attachment with a member of staff early in the settling is process and help her feel safe and relaxed.

However in other settings the key worker is in reality just the person who fills in the paperwork about your child. All the other care is done by whoever is on duty in that room at that time. This makes it much harder for your child to build a relationship with someone she feels safe and secure with.

I would ask searching questions about this of any setting I was looking round.

Saffra I could have written your post! It isn't you that is finding this so hard. I don't want to leave my PFB either (DD 10 months and I'm a bit attachment-parenty too!)

I've just had a 2nd interview this week for a homeworking consultancy job which will be perfect for me, so hoping I can manage without childcare by relying on DM and MIL and doing work in the evening/weekend.

I've just joined a facebook group which might interest you called Attachment Childcare Professionals It seems AP is quite a niche market and someone has set this group up quite recently and there is lots of activity on there already.

Hope this helps and good luck with your search :)