Childminder help

[Maya6]

Hi all. I would really appreciate some advice. I have recently employed a registered childminder and left my baby 3mth with her a few times so they can bond. I was pretty surprised she took him shopping for 3hrs as I did not expect this and was not happy he was kept in the car seat for this length of time with no bottle or nappy change. Am I being unreasonable is this the norm? Please help thanks

Shopping for three hours sounds a bit excessive. I would take a child to Tesco, although perhaps not on a settling in visit as I'd rather be concentrating on building a relationship with the child.

Was your baby due a bottle and a change during that time? If he'd been changed and fed just before she went out with him it seems OK. If he needed feeding and changing but she didn't do it because she was shopping I would consider it to be unacceptable. I always change babies before handing them back anyway. It just seems courteous.

Are you sure she didn't take him out and carry him for at least some of the time while she was shopping?

It does seem a little odd TBH. Do you have any other concerns?

She said he fell asleep which he does when being pushed but not usually at that time and he usually wants a feed every 2hrs approx this was in the hot weather and I made up bottles when he came back he needed a nappy change. I don't mind someone popping to the shops but she is part-time so I was hoping for some interaction time with the baby he is pretty responsive and likes to be chatted to etc

I can see why you are uncomfortable.

Settling in time is a chance for the baby to get to know the childminder. How is that going to happen if he's asleep in a pushchair?

If I arrived back from a trip out with a baby that needed changing I would change it before handing him over even if the parent was still there. They are usually very happy to wait a moment while I do it. Nappy changing is a good opportunity for interaction with the baby so an ideal activity for a settling in session.

I think I would worry about a childminder who isn't motivated to focus on the child even for a three hour settling in session. She should have planned activities which kept him relaxed and in his normal routine while giving opportunities for her to interact with him and get him used to her voice, the smell of her house etc.

I would at least want to have a conversation with her about how she thought this was a useful settling in session and what her plans are for future sessions before proceeding with this contract. She would need to give some very good reasons for her conduct last time she had him and reassurance that your baby's needs will come before her wish to shop in future.

does he really have alot of awake time at 3 months. i only ask as my baby didnt and went it was only me and her it was rather boring as she slept most of the time and couldnt really do alot when awake.

Personally I would be dissapointed in the fact that she had a 3 month old in a car seat for 3 hours when the recommended time for a baby to be in a car seat is 90 minutes. A baby's spine is developing and needs to lie flat as often as possible hence some buggies that do not lie flat are not recommended for under 6 months old. I pride myself on being good at my job and personally would not do something that is not good practice.

Does the childminder have other children or does she have sole charge ?
How much experience does she have with what is still a new born, I would ask what she normally does with the children she looks after and see what she plans to do as well.

You mention employing her, a childminder is generally self employed, so do you take you baby to her or does she come to you?

3 hours in a car seat is a real no no, babies are suffering from more respiratory illnesses than ever before because of not being able to stretch out.

She should have a lie flat pram or one that is suitable for a baby so young. Changing the baby, - not ideal and young babies need changing more frequently, but nappies are designed to last 12 hours overnight.

I can sense your anxiety and rightly so, I think you need to sit down and have a chat about your expectations before you go any further and assess whether this person is the right one to look after your baby.

I always make sure that I have extra time for a new one, just to sit with them, talk to them, sing, and involve them in what I am doing with the others, but the baby would generally be on my lap, apart from designated sleep time. It is a special time to build up a bond.

Take care, I hope you sort it out and feel happier soon

I wouldn't take a baby that small out for a long trip during a settling in visit. I agree you should have a chat with her.