CM Club, WWYD? Awkward situation....

[complexo]

So...
One of my mindees took time off due to grandparents coming from their country to visit and look after them. I have a special contract with the family meaning that I charge more when mindee comes but don't charge when mindee is off as I can always book extra time for other part time mindees when I have the vacancy.
Anyway...mindee's mum wants me to meet up with her mum to go out with her to playgroups because she doesn't know anyone or how to get around nor does she speaks English. Mindee's mum said (by txt message today) that her mum will be looking after mindee while with me which implies to me non payment...but when she was talking about this situation and booking the time off before her mum arrives she used the expression 'booking mindee in on the days/times I go to playgroups' which to me implies payment with no granny involved...

Now, it does not really bother me mindee not coming/not paying because I can easily fill vacancy for flexible ad hoc until he starts coming regurlarly again, but I do feel awkward starting hanging up with mindee's granny, taking her to places....I can't say no as I know it would help them a lot, otherwise mindee would be stuck with granny at home or doing few trips to the park and he does really love playing with other kids and socialising...but even if they offered to pay me for this service it would be something that I would choose not to do but feel can't really say no either way, iynwim?

I don't really know why I am posting it as I said 'ok', just wondering what other people thought are...

I would provide details of all groups etc but I'm afraid although I would help out if I was there I would not offer.

Well, I'm not a CM but this doesn't sound like part of your role to me.

If the child isn't coming to you then you'll have other things to do.

Why don't they let the child come to you as usual; they can see the grandparents when they're at home.

Actually, I think she's being a bit cheeky!

I'd say sorry, but no.

I'm a childminder, not a grannyminder.

Of course you can say no.

If you are not happy with that say no. Its best to be straight from the start. If you say yes and its not want you want you may have to do this again in the future.

If you say yes, then you will have to charge for your time.

You do not want to be in a situation where you are doing something you are not happy with.

Me again. I have learnt many lessons as a cm. What do you want to do? we can give you advise but what does your heart tell you to do.

Potentially a tricky situation ! Will mum expect granny and mindee to be your responsibility? That needs to be clarified for insurance purposes eg should mindee have an accident at playgroup.
Personally, I would say no and have alternate plans for that day.... but if you agree please have something in writing to say that under these circumstances granny is responsible for care of mindee and have mum sign it to make her aware.

Personally I would agree to meet her at the local playgroup explain you will introduce her to some others but tell mum that you can't do it on a regular basis as you tend to be flexible and go with the needs of the children and if that means not turning up at a group or going to another then thats what will happen. Grandma may be fine and not want to hang around with you either but you could give her a list and directions of a few other groups.
I would also email confirmation of booked days and required payment in advance so no confusion happens, explain that any days she doesn't book will not be available so you can offer adhoc care to others thus saving her money as you don't charge. Keep everything clear and written down.

I do want to help but as long as it is at plygroup and for few hours...I don't want to take granny in my house, it would be too much distraction and would also cross my boundaries. I do think from waht mum said that initially mum's idea was to mindee to come to me to playgroup days and granny stay at home, but granny was finding it hard to accept becuase she is coming from such a long distance after a long time away from mindee just to stay with him...(in her home country there are not such a thing as childminders). I know there was a friction there because mum told her mindee needed to play with his friends and other children and interact with other people...so I think one of them came up with this idea of us meeting since granny won't know how to get around nor communicate but she is probably not entirely happy either.
I know it will be for few weeks, one week after half term, than they will go travelling and than another week as far as I know.
I would rather not to pay tbh because I don't want to have the reponsability for granny and mindee at the same time...if she doesn't pay obviously mindee won't come to my house and I won't register him on the attendance sheet, I will instead write a note of what is going on, so in case of an accident or anything else, I am not responsible. Also I will limit the outing with granny to playgroup days and times only which is less than 2 hours anyway....
They are a lovely family though, I know sound a bit cheeky of them but I don't think they mean to take the piss...I do want to help and will but I have to know and make it clear where is the limit and don't go over it.

Would it work if you explained that you were more than happy to meet her and mindee at group, but unfortunately because granny doesn't have a crb check she's unable to spend time in your house with other minded children present?

I'm with everyone else - you are a CM not a Grannyminder. I'd just say that I would be happy to let you know of any drop in groups she could go to, and obviously if you saw her you'd try to say hello (although chatting might be tricky if you don't have a common language), but that you weren't able to look after her.

I understand but won't it sound too crazy and even me sound unfriendly and suspect of granny, even though is the right procedure to follow?
Thing is, me and family are from the same country (that is why granny can comunicate with me) and our country have a completely different approach to childcare, much more relaxed and flexible. I am sure mum understands how things are done here, she had her child here, we do everything by the books, at the begining I had to explain to them all the regulations and etc, they do respect that, but I so look after mindee since he was a new born and his is nearly two now...I would rather say I am more than happy helping granny at playgroups but I can not invite them to my place because it will mess up with routine and make the other children behave in a different way plus granny will be a distraction to me because I will be wooried about her as you do when you have a guest...plus our disciplinary methods might be totally different as well as what it acceptible or not, so I would rather not to have such an intense contact.
So I will say payment is not necessary but I am available to help only on days A B and C from X to Z times...
How does it sound?

Can't you say that it would invalidate your insurance and thus be illegal if granny came to your house? That way you wouldn't be insulting any party, but make it sort of seem that you really can't have granny at your house as it would be unlawful.

ILove the problem with lying and saying it invalidates insurance is that is very, very easy to work out that that's not the case!