Au Pair Trial Weekends - help

[kelpie6333]

OK so I'm new to recruiting au pairs and thanks to MN I believe trial weekends are a good idea for both sides to see if it is a good fit. But what is the etiquette, should I plan trial weekends with 2-3 potential au pairs and choose the best or go with our favourite only and hope that it all works out?

Also, how much do you pay the au pair for the weekend? And do you go out with her and the kids to "observe" her with them or do you just let them go on their own to the park etc? My kids are 3 & 1 so I can't really ask the kids how it went and if they liked her.

Is there anything else I should do/know about the trial? Should we have her cook a meal?

What will the job description be? You'll need to include elements of that to see that she's actually capable.

Sole charge of a 1 and 3 year old is outside a classic au pair's range of experience really so I wouldn't let them off down the park. Maybe after a few weeks of shared charge for a short time, once they know your children and the area. A trial weekend should be about getting to know them and them getting to know your family, a bit of playing with the children while you watch to see if the au pair engages them and knows how to talk st their level (plus whether their English is good enough to communicate with your DC).

I believe most people just bring the favourite over. Payment is appreciated - how much would your AP typically work in a week for what wage? How much do you anticipate them 'working' during the weekend?

1. Favourite only.
2. You don't pay her.
3. You stay with her and the children all the time. The only exception is if she has said that she has a friend she wants to meet up with in the evening in which case you tread very carefully.
4. It might be good to plan and cook a meal together, going shopping is a good excuse to see how she joins in with managing the children in and out of the car etc.

The jury's out for me on these trial weekends, although I see why some people do prefer them.

If your objective is to see her in a setting that will be similar to when she arrives so you can see how she behaves in that setting and she finds out if the job suits her make sure whatever you do approximates this. Rather than, for example, a weekend of outings and all of you on your best behaviour.

You will of course need to entertain her more but I would make it clear before she comes that she will have some trial 'duties' etc or something so that she gets a feel for the job and what you are like to work for as a family otherwise I think it's pointless (unless you are in a location you weren't sure would suit them or there was some aspect of the role that was out of the ordinary.)

Nannies do trial days, you could ask on here what that might include. It would need adjusting for the AP.

We paid the one girl we trialled, not sure why you wouldn't, and at the end of the weekend made a contribution to her train ticket. I think I would also offer to pay the airfare for an AP I was trialling if I initiated it - last year we looked at a candidate who said she and her mom wanted to come over first before she started the year and I wouldn't have paid then.

TOTALLY agree with Mr A's comments on the going shopping with her.

It was actually one of the most useful things that came out of our trial weekend the one time we did it. I stepped an aisle away, came back to the potential AP saying to me: "She's gone." My 4 year old had run off in the direction of the exit of the grocery story and she was just standing there, nonchalantly.

Good idea.

Just to be clear,

1. You don't pay her but you pay for her flight over, pick her up from and take her back to the airport and pay for everything while she is here.

It is unrealistic to make it a true trial, in the sense of trying to make it like a working environment - you just have to set up some situations (shopping, trip to park, family meal) and observe carefully.

Your last point is the reason why after the first one we did we don't bother to do it any more, we just have more skypes and make sure the references are really robust.

What I learned from the trial weekend was if I was concernd enough to bring someone over she wasn't the right candidate.

We did one trial weekend and she was the only au pair we had to let go after 2 weeks. So trial weekends don't always work.
I agree with LadyHarriet - skyping is great, get a number of references and be very clear on what you are looking for in your au pair and communicate it.