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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Nanny resignation - warning signs?

54 replies

katharinehepburn · 31/05/2012 23:03

We have had a nanny for nearly 4 years and have (up till now) thought we had a good working relationship.

However she has just handed in her notice for four weeks time.

She has found another job. Hourly pay rate similar but fewer hours. No changes in her personal circumstances to explain it. Nor in ours. All previous jobs she had stayed till the children were at least 8 yrs old.

I now have a distraught child (asleep at last) who thinks nanny doesn't like her or her brother anymore and I can't explain to them why this has happened because I don't understand it myself.

I guess what I wanted to know was, how common is it for nannies in a long term post (we will need a nanny for years to come) to suddenly decide to leave without even warning the parents that this was a possibility?

If she had told us she wanted to do less we could have actually worked it out quite easily. I know she is perfectly entitled to do this but to just do it without any warning leaves a bad taste in my mouth and an uncomfortable end to her employment with us.

Off to look at CVs now.....

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

colditz · 01/06/2012 00:20

And, op, blapbird and genevras posts about shitty treatment for three months after giving notice are exactly why four weeks is much better for the nanny. Just in case it goes sour, she doesn't have to put up with shitty treatment for three months.

colditz · 01/06/2012 00:20

You cannot possibly construe my tone from text, I'd advise you not to try because you were wrong.

exoticfruits · 01/06/2012 00:20

If it was just the pay they wouldn't be a nanny in the first place!

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 01/06/2012 00:21

Cross posted with you KH. I thought maybe you had children that were of, or becoming of, school age. She wants to look after younger children, which is completely understandable and I'm assuming that even if she had discussed that with you - it's not something you'd have been prepared to negotiate on

There aren't a lot of jobs out there for nannies right now and loads will be looking for work come September. From her own pov she would have been incredibly stupid not to have started looking now and taken on a job when it became available - she needs it to meet a lot of criteria, just as you do.

From your POV it's a shame the 4 weeks leaves you a bit pushed for time, but on the other hand you are lucky that you can afford to keep a full time nanny on when the children are all at school - so it's not as though you need a full time nanny now and only a wrap around nanny come September/October.

You are looking for another long term nanny, that really doesn't matter if it's now or Sept/Oct and in some ways it's better now. You'll have a few weeks before the older ones break up for the holidays, the entire summer for the kids to get to know her then come September she can settle the youngest at school. If you ignore the 4 weeks pressure... it's an ideal time really.

exoticfruits · 01/06/2012 00:22

I think that I can construe your tone from 00:20!

colditz · 01/06/2012 00:22

Nannies are much better paid than most other child carers, ie child minders, nursery workers, teaching assistants take home minimum wage or close. Nannies pick up A lot more money than that. You cannot pretend its a badly paid job that is done for the pure love of it.

colditz · 01/06/2012 00:23

And you're entitled to that opinion, but you happen to be wrong.

Good night.

exoticfruits · 01/06/2012 00:23

All child carers are poorly paid.

GinevraMollyWeasley · 01/06/2012 00:24

Not outrage, just sad really that it's assumed that all nannies are just in it for the money. As I say, I'd work for free in order to keep in touch with my family when the job ends- I love these kids. Yes I would have to leave a job if they decided to stop paying me but it would be with a heavy heart. And no, I would never ever leave a job for a better offer, fewer hours or extra pay whatever it may be. I spent time building a relationship both with the children and the parents, which is worth far more to me than an extra few quid a week or an hour less on a friday or something. I really hope the parents I work for realise how devestated I am that the job is ending- while I know I will find a new job, with new children to get to know, it's not something I would undertake without good reason.

exoticfruits · 01/06/2012 00:26

My opinion is that you find me irritating- deduced from the text!

GinevraMollyWeasley · 01/06/2012 00:27

And as to pay- I get paid more than i did when I worked full time in a nursery. Because in the nursery I was on minimum wage for a max of 40 hours per week- the max the nursery allowed the staff. Now I do 60-70 hours a weeks for slightly more than min wage, because I moved to London to work. You don't work for 60 hours a week with no breaks unless you love the job.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 01/06/2012 00:29

colditz - You said but to her your kids are a pay check & If kids weren't just a pay check to nannies, they would stay and do it for free like parents do

Of course inferring that the nannies don't give a shit about the children is going to upset nannies (and parents with lovely nannies).

Nannies seldom leave 'for a better offer' - they are generally only looking if there is a reason to look (ie this nanny wants to look after pre-schoolers, not be a housekeeper in the day and a nanny after school - fair enough!). It doesn't mean she doesn't care about the kids, doesn't love them and wont miss them an awful lot :( To imply otherwise is just nasty.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 01/06/2012 00:32

Nannies are not all much better paid than other childcarers. Some are, some aren't. Some childminders earn a lot of money because they look after a lot of children - a nanny doesn't have the option to increase her income like that. TA's probably get paid the same as the average nanny and work less hours.

curiousgeorgie · 01/06/2012 00:33

Could something have happened that you don't know about? Maybe she didn't think less hours were possible?

What area are you in? I know an Amazing nanny who's just become available for a position... (really, we call her Mary Poppins!) :)

NarkedPuffin · 01/06/2012 00:37

I don't think it's offensive at all . Obviously the children are not just a paycheck - a relationship develops and there will be genuine affection - but if the money stopped the nanny would leave. It is a job. A caring job, but a job nonetheless.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 01/06/2012 00:40

CuriousGeorge - she's going to be looking after pre-schoolers in her new job (it seems to be WHY she's leaving from what the OP has said).

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 01/06/2012 00:42

Narked - that's the point though isn't it?! The nannies all agree with your POV, it was colditz saying that the Op's kids were just a paycheck to the nanny that's offensive.

juneybean · 01/06/2012 00:43

I think it's the inference that parents do it for free, obviously for x amount of hours they don't hence the reason they need a nanny!

BBMs · 01/06/2012 00:44

Blapbird, I don't think I'll ever do it again tbh! I did it for the kids because I love them to bits, even tho other nanny friends adviced me not to do it!
It is very difficult to let go of children that you have deeply cared about but aren't yours... Every time I put them to bed, it breaks my heart to think I wont be doing it in a few weeks time... Having a hard time atm, hence with it pisses me off when ppl say its just a job! I wouldn't have worked so hard and gave them so much if me if it had been just q paycheck for me...
Haven't even started looking for another job yet coz I can't focus on other children until I make sure these little ones will be ok :(

Karoleann · 01/06/2012 06:48

Is the new job closer to home? There must be some reason, but she would have told you if she wanted to.
I'd speak to the nanny tomorrow and explain that the children were upset and make up some kind of lie......when our first nanny left (new job round the corner and £14/hour nanny share - she'd been with us 3 years) we said that she was going to go to university full time.
The one thing I wouldn't do is let the current nanny do the transition with the new nanny. If there is something wrong then it will just rub off on the new nanny.
Good luck finding something else, children do adapt very quickly. My children will be on their 4th nanny from June and I'm sure they'll be fine.

leeloo1 · 01/06/2012 10:12

OP - have you asked the nanny if she'd consider staying if you reduced the hours? (If thats a possibility for you of course)

kilmuir · 01/06/2012 10:17

She gave you the notice necessary. What have you told the children about her going, are they picking up your negative vibes.
She is entitled to move on. No obligation to tell you why she is going.

NannyR · 01/06/2012 10:46

I have just been in a similar situation. I've been working abroad, the job is absolutely great but I'm not getting on with living overseas and want to go back to the uk. I was planning on discussing it with my employer and handing in my notice/starting to look for a new job in the autumn.
Whilst I was at home at Easter, a job opportunity came up for September that was just perfect in terms of location, hours, pay etc - I would have been silly to turn it down, in the hopes that something similar would turn up a couple of months later.
So I was in the position of handing in my notice to my employer who had no idea I even wanted to leave. I felt like shit doing it, but at the end of the day, as much as I love the kids I look after, it is my job and I need to get a job that works best for me.

I always feel it seems unfair that someone in an office job can hand in their contracted notice, for whatever reason they like without feeling any guilt whatsoever, whereas because of the nature of our job it's never that simple for nannies!

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/06/2012 13:05

so basically your nanny is leaving to work less hours and look after younger children - totally understandable tbh

you said one was off to school in sept, is that your youngest or do they have siblings who still need looking after

4 years is a very good time for a nanny to stay and least she has saved you having to pay her redundancy which could add up to over £2k if not more

4weeks notice isnt enough for nanny jobs, i prefer 8 weeks personally as by the time you get your notice, tell agencies, sort out cv, go for interviews etc then often a month has gone by, let alone when go for 2nd interviews

but its what YOU BOTH AGREED ON in the contract, so you cant moan now :)

Rubirosa · 03/06/2012 20:13

I think 4 years is quite a long time to stay in a job - she's probably just a bit bored, especially as your kids are heading towards school age.

Nannying isn't a job where you can progress horizontally - it's not like she can move into management - so to meet new challenges/gain new skills you have to move into a new job. Wouldn't you can bored if you were doing exactly the same job for years and years?

As for giving more than the contracted notice - the big risk is that you would find a replacement sooner and give her notice, leaving her out of a job. Or you could tell her to leave straight away out of spite (I know people this has happened to!) or just generally make her life hell. You've had a good run with this nanny, so don't let bad feeling spoil your last few weeks.

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