How do I ask the CM to make sure DD's are comfortable in their uniforms after school?

[wibble73]

I'm not sure whether I'd risk looking stupid or offending the intelligence of my new CM. My youngest daughters will be going to hers straight from school until about 7.30pm - I won't be sending a change of clothes since they're happy enough playing in uniform after school, but would she automatically make sure that they're more comfortable by loosening their ties and top buttons like I always do, or do I ask her to do it?

tell them to do it and ask for help if needed?

why don't you ask them to remove their ties after school to avoid them getting dirty..and yes to ask for help from cm

How about saying something along the lines of "cm would you mind getting them to take off their ties at your just if they get their dinner down it i'll not get a chance to wash it ready for the next day" am sure she'll do the button then.

How old are they and is there any reason why they can't do it themselves?

And another yes to them asking cm for help

For some reason they never want to take their ties off and also forget to loosen them so they don't spend the whole day in a constricting shirt collar - would the CM not do it automatically?

If you don't want to actually have the conversation, why don't you shout back up the garden path as you leave them at the CM's, 'don't forget to take your tie off when you get in!'

If the kids aren't bothered, does it actually need doing?

You are overthink this :)

Just tell her that the girls don't remember to take their ties off but that you prefer that they do.

I'm not bothered about them taking them off, just so long as their top buttons are undone. Just wanted to make sure the CM wouldn't be offended or think it's a stupid thing to ask.

Surely if they are school age they can do this themselves.

Leave it to the DCs- I'm sure they can cope!

If they don't want to take them off maybe they don't find it uncomfortable. Of course you can ask the cm but it seems you are being a bit pfb.

It's not that they can't do it, it's just that they wouldn't remember unless reminded

That is their problem then! If they can't remember they are not bothered.

If they don't remember they're probably not uncomfortable. You can ask the CM but don't worry.

I don't think a cm would do it automatically, unless a child looks uncomfortable, so if it is important to you you just have to ask her.

I do worry, stupid I know. I just always think that they'll be more comfortable that way - maybe not?

It is an important part of growing up to learn to know when you are uncomfortable; if you always have adults running after you adjusting your clothes, you will miss out on a learning opportunity. I take it they are at least 4 years old and do not have learning difficulties. In which case I would start letting them become more responsible for their own comfort; it can only do them good.

I really don't think you need to stress about this. A shirt collar isn't that constricting (quite a lot of men manage to wear their shirts buttoned up all day, after all) - I agree that if they're uncomfortable then they'll undo them themselves. Presumably they're old enough to undo their own buttons (ie older than about 3) so if they want to, they will. Let them get on with it.

Wibble73 you're not stupid to worry, I think to put your mind at rest you need to send a change of clothes. Do you change when you get in? I think you're so stressed by this you'll say the wrong thing to the CM, just send the clothes I do. That way you can be sure that collars are off. I never relax in my work clothes so let your little ones be the same. school for school play for play is what I say.

I know, I know, I pander to them. Maybe I should stop stressing so much about things

You should! They will never sort it out themselves if they don't get chance to be uncomfortable and find the solution.

If they aren't comfortable I'm sure they can sort it out themselves.

Would you believe, the CM says that they're 'odd' for not wanting to take them off but just have them loose instead!

I'm sure if they are comfortable at school buttoned up, another 2 or 3 hours at the CM's won't make any difference. And if they are uncomfortable then they will either do it themselves or ask the CM to! Stop fretting