Our new childminder smokes - is this an issue?

[ImNotAnsweringIt]

I know it's up to us really. Back to work next month and have lovely cm lined up. She assured us, when asked, ds wouldn't come into contact with smoke/smokers (can't remember her words) but dh saw her smoking in her car yesterday (evening, presumably not working).

We can't decide if this is a big deal! Partly think none of our business, her private life etc. partly think she mislead us. What do others think?

I imagine you'll have a lot of replies saying find someone else.

What I would consider is does the cm or the playrooms smell of smoke? If they don't then she must smoke out of the house when not working as the smell is almost impossible to disguise. If this was the case I wouldn't be too worried about placing your child there.

hmmmm I dunno...
some people only smoke 3 or 4 times a year (like if they'ld had really bad news!) There are a few people in my family like that, have a cigar at a wedding or have an emergency packet that sits untouched for a year then gets used if shit hits the fan!
I would say my DH doesn't smoke, but he stood outside our building and smoked about 5 when he was kicked out of the hospital after DS was born. - he can go months or years without one, then have one or two in situations like DSs birth! he has never smoked around children
You might have caught her on a rare day
It is hard to tell - I'ld tell her about what you saw face to face so you see her reaction, she might have just been told that someone died?

Can you smell smoke in her house? Does she smell of smoke?

It's only a problem if you feel it's a problem.

If both her and the house don't smell of smoke then I wouldn't worry.

She said your dc wouldn't come into contact with smoke or smokers so she may not have lied to you.

It may be that she has one in her car in private every night.

After all she has a right to a private life. I love wine but I wouldn't knock it back in front of mindees.

Sorry would be a problem to me. I have a serious problem with smoking though. Really, really don't like it, and don't understand why people would start in the first place.

House/cm do not smell at all. Dh and I are both ex-smokers so it isn't necessarily a deal breaker in itself. Im sure she is professional and intelligent enough not to smoke around mindees.

Thanks for helping put it into perspective for us, we felt quite worried and upset last night.

Did you ask her directly if she was a smoker?

I wouldn't like it at all. I am also very
anti -smoking. I would hate the thought of my child being in a car smelling of tobacco smoke. Yuck! The stench lingers on the interior and car seats. Sorry, but it I would find another CM.

Non issue imo. I have the very occasional cig if I'm driving and don't class myself as a smoker. Great lovely nice responsible people ie the sort you'd be happy to leave your children with don't suddenly change into children eating trogs just because they light up :o

IMO smoking while driving should have been banned at the same time as using a mobile phone whilst driving.

I would want to know exactly when/where she smoked. DP is a smoker but wouldn't smoke in a house or car that has/is going to have children in it.

If the CM smoked in her garden after work I wouldn't mind. Smoking inside the house (even when children aren't there) I would mind. In the car (if she is going to use it to transport children) would mind.

But that's just my personal feelings, whether it's an issue to you is something else entirely. My DS's first keyworker at nursery when he was in the baby room smoked on her lunch break and I didn't mind that at all.

If she does it in the house, you'd have smelt it, and if she's outside having more than one or two in a day you'd have smelt it on her clothes.

Am slightly surprised she's doing it in the car, even before I stopped smoking indoors I'd stopped in the car as it stinks so much, even I noticed it through my own 20 a day habit.

Im a childminder and was so shocked the other week when all the childminders went on a night out 70% of them smoked but they never smell of smoke or smoke when they are at work. I had no idea they smoked at all and i see most of them 4 days a week

It would be illegal for her to smoke in her own house and car if she uses it for business.
A regular smoker would be a deal breaker for me.
Nipping off to have a fag during the day means she isn't watching the kids.

Plus the smoke and toxins will cling to her hair skin breath and clothes, even if she smokes outside.

I would speak to her. Say that during your meetings she said that your child wouldn't come into contact with smoke or smokers and that you are concerned about where/when she smokes.
It may have been an 'odd' ciggie, but if she smokes outside during her working hours then obviously either your child will come into contact with smoking or he won't be being cared for.
If it's not a deal breaker then tell her what you would find acceptable or not.
Good luck!

hairylemon I aint worried about you suddenly eating my kids because you smoke, but did you not see Pinochio....it clearly shows you that if you smoke you turn into a donkey!!?

something to consider is that the risk of passive smoking remains for 20mins after someone has had a cigarette (the many nurseries I told this when looking round who had no idea and let nursery nurses change their tops to nip out for a fag and change it back again - i didnt chose those nurseries!)

smoke lingers in peoples hair and on their skin.

It is everyones individual choice if they smoke or not - a child doesnt have a choice and as a parent its your choice for them.

I personally didnt want my little one around smokers and chose a cm who didnt smoke and doesnt visit smokers homes or have smokers to her house. Nursery wise they have a different policy and actually dont have any smokers in the baby room (more luck than policy!).

If she does smoke, that would be an issue for me if I'm honest - because smoking just isn't sensible, and sound judgement is what I'd want above all from someone looking after my children.

I do appreciate (as a childminder) that she is entitled to do what she wants on her own time, but I would rather choose someone who could sincerely advocate healthy diet and lifestyle choices, particularly once my children are old enough to ask questions on those subjects.

Before i got pregnant i was a smoker. however i would never smoke the things working.. as soon as almost mindees gone home i would sit in the garden as a wind down. not one of the parents knew i smoked.

Maybe this cm is the same that she only smokes when not working.

I would never let a smoker look after my children. The passive smoke is around a lot longer than the actual time it takes to smoke a cigarette. Avidly against smoking. Agree re healthy diet and lifestyle choices.

when I smoked I worked in health care, I am aware that smoke lingers but noone of the service users had any passive smoking from me
I never smoked before or during work or on breaks, but would have a ciggie or 10 in the evening as a treat to relax

if the CM smokes in that way I cannot see how it could possibly affect mindees, so long as its not in her home, or so long as they're not in her car (i.e. not doing lots of school runs)

I'd worry if my child was ever going to be in that car and I'd be worried that she
lied to you (or wasn't entirely up front and honest).

But it's up to you, none of my family smoke or have ever done so and I have asthma. If smoking is more normal to you, you might be less worried about what sounds like very minimal exposure.

I would have been taken aback, given what she said, to see her smoking in her car.

To me her comments would have meant she wasn't a smoker herself.

It's always worth clarifying what people mean by this - is the lesson here.

I think I would say, can I just be clear when you say that the children won't come in contact with smokers etc. are you a smoker yourself?

If she says no outright, I would be concerned.

If she says socially, etc. I would just clarify what her policy is on things like smoking in her back yard when the children are asleep etc??/

People do have different ideas about this - our first nanny smoked - and you are entitled to clarify.

Don't say you saw her smoking in the car though, she will feel spied on.