I think this childminder was neglecting her mindees...

[KnockedUpMell]

At the playground, there was a little boy (around 18m-2y I think) who ran out of the gate when another family got in. The mum who had gotten in looked all around the enclosed space for the parent /minder, but only got quizzical looks from all the other parents there. I guess she assumed they were in the larger park and let him out. Five minutes later, the CM (who has been sitting in the far corner and not watching him) notices he is in the larger park and calls for him to come back.

Not long after, there are terrified screams from a girl (maybe 5y) who has gotten stuck on the whirly cup ride and is going round at very high speed, and at one point she goes really limp and is almost flung out of it. Fortunately she was alrigght. Again the cm did not notice that the mindee is in danger and it took her a while to come to the help of this poor girl.

I didn't do / say anything (nor did any of the other parents), but now feel guilty for not doing so. After all if that was my child she was minding, I would have wanted another parent to say something... What would you have done??

You don't know she was a childminder. The thread title is incorrect and it's in the wrong section.

Those whirly cup rides are awful. DC3 (4.5 yrs) got stuck in one the other day and he was terrified and couldn't get out. He was rescued by someone else because I was over the other side of the park with another child. I did comfort him after though once I stopped laughing

Op - why not describe the children and see if they are Leroys?

Then you can apologise to all of the Childminders and Leroy.

Sounds like a crock to me, as a cm I watch mindees like a hawk, was much more blaze with my own children.

As the mother of one blue-eyed, blond, fair-skinned child and one dark, brown-eyed, olive-skinned child (same father too) - I am sorry to have given childminders a bad name with my laissez-faire attitudes over the years. I should have hung DNA tests round their necks, shouldn't I?

And as for my mother with her mixed brood of biological and adopted children, think of the damage she will have done to a totally unrelated profession over the years. It's harsh.

Personally, I have a different way of sorting out relationships between adults and children in parks: if they look relaxed and benignly neglectful I assume they are the parents; the person watching the child as a hawk will most likely be either a professional or a more distant relative.

this whirly cup ride sounds fun

knocked up - you cant assume this lady was a cm - but would be very funny if was lerotmerlin

could an area be named

I want to know now as well blondes - are we very sad

ps blondes those whirly cups as soooo NOT fun I would rather go on a roller coaster again after getting my huge bug butt stuck in the one at the park they are so not easy to get out of - also childrens slides are not made for mummy butts my 21mth old now says no mummy- stuck!!!

You're all a bit reactionary. I don't think the OP was slating childminders in general, she just assumed she was one for various reasons. Those reasons had nothing to do with her actual criticism.

But yes she should have been paying more attention, whatever her relationship to them.

The problem is that, if there are any negative stories in the media involving a child and a carer who is not the child's parent, the carer is automatically referred to as the childminder.

Recent stories include the couple who tortured and murdered a boy who'd been left with them for some weeks; a child chained to a radiator and treated as a slave, a 2 year old branded an out of control monster whose mother and nursery staff were referred to as childminders, the woman who wrote a racist comment on a child's forehead... I could go on. Even Victoria Climbie's murderers were called childminders by some when it was her childminder who actually tried to alert the authorities.
All these were blamed on childminders by ignorant people; not one of them were registered childminders at all. Every one of them bad publicity for genuine childminders.

That's why we react when someone writes this kind of post. There's no reason for the op to have believed this lady was a childminder, but there she is branding us all with a judgey little piece on how badly she thought a childminder was behaving.

Maybe we are sensitive; maybe we're doing our best to counter all the rubbish that people will try to throw at our profession.

My kids scream blue murder on those things, then beg to be allowed on again when I "rescue" them. I'm sure onlookers would think I was a bit blase as I stroll over to sort them out, but I just know what they are like.

Coming back to this thread and re-reading it, I also want to say - knockedupmel - that you are behaving like a drama queen.

Five minutes later, the CM (who has been sitting in the far corner and not watching him) notices he is in the larger park and calls for him to come back

You have no idea that she'd only just noticed him, maybe she was giving him five minute and/or watching what he was playing on/with and at that point decided he'd had long enough/was wandering too far away. If she could call/shout to him to come back - he wasn't far away from her was he!

Not long after, there are terrified screams from a girl (maybe 5y) who has gotten stuck on the whirly cup ride and is going round at very high speed, and at one point she goes really limp and is almost flung out of it. Fortunately she was alrigght. Again the cm did not notice that the mindee is in danger and it took her a while to come to the help of this poor girl

Once again, all your assumption. Plenty of kids this age act like drama queens too and want to shout and scream, then get right back on.

I didn't do / say anything (nor did any of the other parents), but now feel guilty for not doing so. After all if that was my child she was minding, I would have wanted another parent to say something...

Really - say what exactly. Excuse me, I don't approve of the way you are looking after your children/mindees/neighbours kids/nieces & nephews/foster kids/step kids...???

No-one else said anything, because they didn't need to. Neither did you.

she spent the afternoon basking in the sunshine

Fuck - shoot her for not hovering over the kids.

IHaveQuestions

Really - You're all a bit reactionary. I don't think the OP was slating childminders in general, she just assumed she was one for various reasons. Those reasons had nothing to do with her actual criticism

Did you read this (below)??

KnockedUpMellWed 30-May-12 20:39:52

I really don't think any of them were hers. I can't imagine any mum being so blasé about her young child wandering out of a playground unnoticed or not registering her daughters screams of terror instantaneously! There was no telling off for running out of the playground, or cuddles for the girl after the incident, both of which made me think she can't have been their mum.

I agree there is no proof this was a childminder, so the OP has jumped to conclusions.

But it is not helpful to pretend no childminders are careless/relaxed. I know only one who is ultra relaxed, she was like that with her own kids, and she has a fairly high number of incidents similar to these described.

I understand childminders get a bad rap whilst doing a responsible and tough job, I know nearly all CMs do a great job. But some people, as in all jobs, are not as responsible as others.

Of course. I agree - I have known childminders I wouldn't leave a goldfish with, let alone a precious child. Thankfully, they are very few and they usually don't last long.

However, I can't think of many professions that get such a bad press from the actions of those who do not follow that profession.

The vast majority are good childminders who are proud of their profession and jealous for their reputation. Hence the challenge when an unfair accusation such as this is posted.

I don't think childminders get a worse level of bad press/slurs than a lot of other professions. The thing I think they get is 'its easy/anyone can do it'. To a certain extent anyone can do it (the course is not hard, relatively quick to get started etc), but that's not the same as doing it well! I did the course but just thought this is not for me.

I don't think people are slating the OP because they don't think there are any lax childminders about. Of course there are lax childminders, just as there are incompetent doctors and crooked policemen and ignorant teachers.

The bit that got the was the OP assuming that a strange woman she didn't know just had to be a childminder because she was lax. Because, really, there are no lax parents in the world, are there? Absolutely unthinkable Laxity would just have to be the ultimate proof that somebody has to be a childminder because there is simply nothing else- parent, aunt, friend of the family, grown-up sibling- that they could possibly be.

i like to think that i know my mindees well enough and know what to expect from them that i can be relaxed with some and not with others. currently i have my 8month old, a 25month old and 30 months old. if we were at the park i would be following the 25month old around with my baby in pram or baby in swing if 25 month old in swing nxt to her. The 30 month old i give more freedom she usually plays along with us but will wonder from the chute to the see saw ect. i know she will not wander to far or would never dream of leaving the park. so while i watch her from a small distance i dont hover over her i consentrate on the 25 month old as he has no sense of whats going on around, would just wonder off run infront of a swing ect.

'I really don't think any of them were hers. I can't imagine any mum being so blasé about her young child wandering out of a playground unnoticed or not registering her daughters screams of terror instantaneously! There was no telling off for running out of the playground, or cuddles for the girl after the incident, both of which made me think she can't have been their mum.'

WOW. You obviously do not know any childminders. I pay 100% attention to my mindees, don't sit down at all when at the park for eg... and am afraid have seen many adults being blase about the care of the children they're looking after (I have no idea what their relationship is to that child of course, and it's certainly not my place to make such assumptions).

And cuddles.... are you seriously thinking childminders don't cuddle their mindees? We are in this business because we have a love of children and a deep desire to look after them, protect them, help educate them. I cuddle my little mindees all the time :)

Dear Knockedupmel

I feel a bit bad for people's reactions to your story, but it is a tad judgemental.

I'm a childminder and I hover more over my mindees than my own child, as I keep a distant eye on him. I give my mindee a cuddle when she falls, or when we're playing catch etc. If my mindees are in danger, trying to climb trees, I reprimand them (gently ofcourse).

To be fair there are great childmindes out there, and rubbish ones. My son used to have one, that when he was at playgroup, my friends didn't know who he was with the entire time. Weeks on end, as she didn't interact with him or other mindees.
There are also RUBBISH parents out there. I appreciate you probably made the assumptions based on what you know, but please don't tarnish us all with the same brush. Some of us adore our mindees and their safety is paramount to us.

cory, you made me chuckle. Benignly neglectful = parent.
:-)