Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Advice re Unhappy parent!

38 replies

laurenamium · 27/05/2012 21:34

I have been child minding since September and have been lucky enough to be full already with lovely parents and children who are happy with the care they receive.

HOWEVER, I have just been told through a mutual friend that a parent has updated a Facebook status (i dont have parents on facebook) to say something along the lines of "my childminder is a silly bitch with an attitude p problem" I am that she feels like this and also that she hasn't spoke to me direct about any issues. Especially given that I'm not even sure where it has come from! Only last week she commented on how happy she was to have found me!

What should I do about it? What would you do in this situation? If I was looking for child care for my DD I certainly wouldn't be happy to leave her with someone who I thought was a bitch with an attitude!! I am !!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

QIelf · 27/05/2012 21:43

who is the mutual friend and can you be certain she is tellign the trruth?

QIelf · 27/05/2012 21:44

tell her to get a screen grab and send it to you

Original poster

laurenamium · 27/05/2012 21:45

She is a childminder and old school friend, we often work together...meet up at playgroups etc, I had a little look and parents page setting is open so I've seen it. What do I do next?

OP posts:

lesstalkmoreaction · 27/05/2012 21:48

I would ring her and just tell her that you've been told about her facebook status and that you would rather she discuss any problems she has directly with you and give her a time that is convenient.
Have you any idea what she is referring to, personally I hate confronting people but in this case I would offer her an immediate chance to take her child from you and under the circumstances to waive any fees after she has paid up to date. The trust is gone for me.

Flisspaps · 27/05/2012 21:56

Id want a screen shot, if your friend is correct I'd then give written notice at the earliest opportunity, perhaps enclosing a copy of the screenshot.

Original poster

laurenamium · 27/05/2012 21:58

I thought this, I don't see how we will be able to work together when she feels like this!

I can't think what might have caused it! We spoke on friday when she told me her shifts and which school runs I will be doing in June. But I didn't think there was an issue about it, I didn't question it or say I was unavailable!

It's probably a bit late to call now but I do have the children tomorrow so will maybe call before I know she starts work so she knows I know before I see her?

OP posts:

Flisspaps · 27/05/2012 21:58

Ah so you know it's definitely been said - screen shot in with your letter of notice then.

Original poster

laurenamium · 27/05/2012 22:03

Do you think I should maybe ask in passing my other parents to make sure they are happy too? Just a "are you happy with the care/ service you receive" maybe in development folders/ learning journeys? I send them home monthly anyway with a "parent comments/ ideas/ wishes" sheet in which I take into account when planning. I hate to think that I'm doing something wrong and not even aware of it!!

OP posts:

Flisspaps · 27/05/2012 22:11

Stick the question on the bottom of your questionnaire, so you have the comments in writing. If they're positive, then you've got them there to refer to/show Ofsted at a future inspection towards Partnership with Parents

I'd love to see that mother's face when you bring it up with her (however you choose to do it)

Original poster

laurenamium · 27/05/2012 22:17

I keep swaying between and ! I might mention slander in the written notice so she doesn't put anything else on about it! Obviously I can't control what she says, I just wish she would have came to me about any issues! I'll call her in the morning and have the children after school. I'll report back tomorrow night and let you know how it goes!

Thank you for helping! I was a bit hesitant to post but needed CM advice without involving mutual friend and won't see another CM until mid week. Also don't want to be seen as gossiping/ moaning!

OP posts:

bigpaws · 28/05/2012 04:40

Good luck with discussing this with her. Her comments would make me too. I would do like already suggested - keep a record of what has happened and a copy of her comment. I would be tempted to ask her why she feels like this about you - record that too.

ToffeeWhirl · 28/05/2012 04:55

That's awful for you and I agree with what the previous posters have said. I'm sure your other parents don't have any problems with you, don't worry. It sounds as if this woman has her own issues. If she was genuinely unhappy with the service you provide she would be giving you notice. Maybe she was just letting off steam, but she shouldn't have used you in this way.

And how silly of her - now her children are going to lose a good childminder and will be all unsettled.

Good luck in discussing it with her and let us know how it goes.

Groovee · 28/05/2012 06:06

As a parent who uses a childminder, I'm shocked that any one can do this to their childminder. I'd expect to give notice if this was the case.

Intrum · 28/05/2012 06:23

Octaviapink · 28/05/2012 09:08

You are definitely sure that she's talking about you, aren't you? I mean, the child doesn't go to any other minders?

If you're the only minder then yes - agree with the others. Time to hand in notice (advertise immediately).

RandomNumbers · 28/05/2012 09:14

yes if you are sure it is referring to you then the relationship has broken down, give notice and move on

I wouldn't put legal terms like slander in the notice letter unless you have had legal advice

NCMA might be able to help you with wording?

I am so sorry, what a horrible experience

minderjinx · 28/05/2012 09:48

I would certainly confront her about it, and if she cannot come up with a plausible explanation, give notice but with the option of leaving immediately. I have heard though of malicious partners and "friends" getting hold of people's facebook passwords and doing things like this out of spite - I would just be aware of that possibility and judge if she is shocked to learn what she has supposedly posted or just shocked at being found out.

anewyear · 28/05/2012 13:36

Agree with minderjinx If you havent already spoken to about this, I would be asking her if she knows/has seen what has been written about you on her face book and see how she reacts and go from there.

Eglu · 28/05/2012 13:45

I would wonder why she is leaving her dc with you if she feels that way.

I'm not surprised you are angry and sad.

Gumby · 28/05/2012 16:45

Any update?

Original poster

laurenamium · 28/05/2012 17:42

Sorry children have just left! Mum apologized and brought flowers also cried on me too!

She has problems at home and is currently splitting with husband, this also explains why the children have moved house and school in the last few months. (just told me all of this today) She had misinterpreted a text where I had put "okay that's fine" in response to next months shifts- and no smileys, kisses or fluffiness and had vented on FB. She also says she has removed it and it won't happen again.

I have given her another copy of my working with parents policy and told her if she has a problem she needs to move the children. (that's when she cried) apparently she doesn't and the kids love it here...

I've been too soft haven't I?! I've mainly been thinking about the children, already moving house and school and dad not being there me not being there too isn't great!

Fresh start and lessons learnt I think I'm too soft!

OP posts:

Flisspaps · 28/05/2012 17:47

Personally, I think so.

I understand that people have a hard time, but really, did she not think about the damage she can do to your business by posting something like that? It only takes someone on her friends list to mention to all her friends that apparently X's childminder has a really shitty attitude - our reputations are generally built on word of mouth!

Bibulus · 28/05/2012 17:47

sounds like she is mortified - as she should be!

well done, sounds like you handled her just right

RandomNumbers · 28/05/2012 18:01

well done you

LingDiLong · 28/05/2012 18:17

I think you handled it well actually, not too soft at all. She cocked up at a time when she's going through some major stress and she explained and apologised. I'd be happy with that. Might be worth asking her to put a retraction on her wall though to undo any damage that she might have done.

Flip

1 2